<BR>To everyone who has been following my posts...I think I am on the right track; acting like the OW-He confided in me something that he hasnt told ANYONE and begged me not to say anything to ANYONE!!<P>This is how it all began-H came 20 minutes early to pick up the children; which i thought was unusual in itself..Then he came in...He brought up the money thing (me not receiving the child support-he has sent it; the state just hasnt credited it-he showed me the money order receipts-he is paying-it's not his fault!! whew!) I was relieved that i didnt have to ask!!! Then we spoke for a while-a lot about nothing; but then he asked me where my wedding ring was-I told him I had it locked away; then I asked him about his and he said his was put away in a safe place also...he also brought up some memories of good times we had together; and I said; "oh, so you do think about it-and he said,yes, all of the time" but then I brought up what I had heard about him marrying OW and he said he was intending on "doing the right thing" and I said the right thing is to come home to your family-then he just shut the door and left with the children for his visit...but here's the weird thing; he's never stayed more than 5 minutes to talk to me and he was in my apartment (which he has been forbidden to enter by OW) for 40 minutes..and that thing about him marrying her ripped my soul out...but I'm thinking he was trying to get my reaction??? I didnt expect him to come up again when he brought the children home; but he did...he brought them back 45 minutes early and we talked again...this is when he confided in me and told me that he was looking for another job; and he said not even OW knows about this...If he gets another job, that will get him more time away from OW!!!! The more time away from her the better things get for us!!! I feel like I am in high school again with the "school girl crush"; my heart was beating fast; I was sweating...We hugged...He said my name-which is a positive because he hasnt said my name in 8 months...He offered me extra money to get through since the child support is lost...he offered to cover the expenses of the dentist for our daughter...he even told me how remarkable the changes in me have been. The mood was light; we even joked about the affair and we had fun...We had some family moments...playing with the children....he offered me money for my children's pictures that i just had taken...I am just blown away!!! God is working miracles in my life; because that's what these changes are!!! Nothing but miracles....Please advise...Im not pulling out the champagne just yet to celebrate; but I do have something to praise God for because I see my prayers being answered right in front of my eyes...The only thing that concerns me is the comment about his intentions to marry OW!!! Please give me some input!!! I think it's all good I hope This is the most positive I have felt about things in months!

Aloneandsad,<BR>I see this as a miracle. A true slight awakening of what he really wants. I pray it will be you and your children.<P>Bless you sweetie, keep up the good work. (I know it ain't easy!)<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

aloneandsad, Good for you and your family that is really good he is looking for new job. I cant remember did you say they worked together? Mine did luckly he quit before I knew or I think that would have made it even harder. Things are really looking good it is so great to hear your prayers are being answered. with love flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>`Look ahead or you will find yourself behind.

aloneandsad,<P>I am so happy for you. I know that any ray of sunshine helps. I also know the pain of having your h working with the OW. We had to move and change jobs completely, but what a burden lifted that can be. I hope for you and your family that he does get a different job. Than maybe he can get his life on track. Your in my prayers.<P>babstr.

Flowerseed, gemini, and babstr;<P>Thank you for all of the support you guys give me here...It certainly helps during the dark days and I'm sure that even though things are looking up now; I'm sure we will continue to have setbacks because at the end of the day, no matter how positive things look-he is still going home to her-not me; I am not so nieve to believe that he will come back home tomorrow; he still has a lot of issues that he has to work out before coming home..but the first step is getting a new job...and I am so hopeful because he told ME before he told OW!!!<BR>I just dont understand the comment about marrying OW...and you know what? Even if they get married-that still doesnt change the fact of adultery and it doesnt change what they did and it doesnt make the bad right. I know that even if they get married; I will always be in his heart-I was his First! I gave him his first child; I gave him his first son...We had a lot of firsts and that means something. I know that if they do get married; it wont last-so that means that its not over until I say it's over-Until God says its over!!! I am not one to interpret God's will and what God wants for other people or even myself-I'm still learning how to do that; but when interpretting his will; all you have to do is look at his word and his word says "Let no man (or in this case-woman-separate what God has joined together" I hold that scripture near and dear to my heart because that gives me the hope I need to hang on. God is working in my life and I am so thankful! Praise God because he is good. I ask that you keep me and my family in your prayers because they are being answered-I believe it with all of my heart and soul. I know God will lead me and my H to do the right thing...which is preserve our family.<BR>By the way flowerseed; Yes they do work together-He is the manager of a fast food restaurant and she makes biscuits...It takes some real brain power to do that! Maybe he realizes that intelligence and a good job and money does help a woman to value herself and her place in this world and I do value myself...Some may say that by trying to bring my H home I am insane and insecure; but I dont think so; I know there are others out there-I have a man now who would love for me to drop this idea and come to him; but I dont want that. I am not insecure; I think it takes a strong and secure woman to stay in the marriage-because to make it work; she must work harder than ever before to keep her sanity; harder than ever before to keep her H happy and wanting to come home to her at the end of the day; <p>[This message has been edited by aloneandsad (edited January 21, 2001).]

Alone, I am so glad for you! I know my posts in the other thread on CS were turning harsh on your H, but from all appearances, he deserved my comments. But as this points out, what we think is happening is not always the case. <P>I hope your H follows through on the plan to find other job. That will be a HUGE step in ending this. I will hold out hope that your H will seek guidence from an counselor or minister or someone independent from OW on direction as to what the "right thing" is. I know his mother & family have not been supportive of him leaving OW. He sounds so torn & mixed up if he thinks clinging to this OC and marriage to OW is "right thing" to do. I guess once they get started down a path it is hard to dig out of the rut they have already gotten themselves into. <P>Stay on the course you have been on for months. Your Plan A is obviously working. Take care & enjoy the moment! Carolyn