I have a business opportunity that will probably increase my income 3-4 times what I am making now, but it is an 1 1/2 hrs. from where we currently live. I really don't feel bad about doing it because my W chose to move 2 hrs further away to be with OM. What do ya'll think?<BR>Floored

Remind me how old the kids are, floored---that'll be the big factor.<P>My wife and I have moved four times in the last 10 years. I would say that once the kids get into high school, you're going to be dealing with some pretty serious trauma on their parts (not that they can't adapt). The last time we moved, our kids were 7 and 3. It went fine.<P>And I think if it puts you in a better financial situation, and that's important to you---then go for it.<p>[This message has been edited by K (edited April 02, 2001).]

Dear floored,<BR>I think that if moving would make you less stressed (both financially and by being further away from where bad memories are), it would help your kids in the long run. Yes, moving is a bit unsettling for children, but if they have a happier, more relaxed father it will benefit them and you.<P>But one bit of advice - again this is just me harping on the legalities - if you do decide to move, make sure that the FIRST thing you do is make all the arrangements for your kids. Get them enrolled in school, list them with a doctor, all of that stuff. Because if not, your wife could take you to court for custody claiming that you haven't made all the necessary arrangements. That's what happened to my b.i.l. -like I said before, his wife got custody after running off with a truck driver based SOLELY on the fact that b.i.l. didn't know what doctor he'd be taking the kids to. The judge said that he had to go with the more "prepared" parent. In all other respects, bil was a perfectly good father, the judge said, and he even said that if bil would have just named a local doctor's office off the top of his head, he would have kept custody. You have to be able to prove that you have EVERYTHING in line for their health care, dentist care, and all that. Don't let your wife have any opportunity to slam you for custody.<P>Good luck!<BR>cd

Hi Floored,<P>I totally agree with cd on precautions. Do not give her any reason to come after you with some legality.<P>Other than that I say go for it! Not only do you get an increase in pay, but you do not have to worry about seeing oc as much or w for that matter. Pray about it, you will know what to do. Congratulations and Good Luck!<P>Love and Prayers<P>broken_wings<P>ps...your kids will be fine floored, you seem to have a huge heart and are a very concerned and loving daddy. That is what they need.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by broken_wings (edited April 02, 2001).]

K, my kids are 7 and 4. I didn't mention it before, but I will have family there, with cousins for my kids!! My little boy wouldn't have anyone his age, but my D and one of her cousins are the same age. They might even end up in the same class. I will definitely get the legalities taken care of so as to not leave any chance of stupid judge taking the kids.<BR>Floored

That being the case Floored, I say definately go for it. Anything that makes dad happier will effect them in a positive way.<P>Love and Prayers<BR>broken_wings

I don't think there's much of a downside here, and there's a lot of potential for good. As long as the job isn't too risky, I'd say go for it too.

If W can move so can you. I wish you the best Floored. I think being near family will help too.<P>BTW I saw your thread on "playing sick". Good job. I think you're a great sounding human being.<P>Oh yeah...I almost forgot....today is opening day in MLB. <P>THEEEEEEEEE YANKEEEEEEEEES WIN! THEEEEEEEE YANKEEEEEEES WIN!!<P>Beat Kansas City....what a game!<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....<p>[This message has been edited by gemini1 (edited April 02, 2001).]

Dear Floored,<P>Being a military wife/family, we have moved MANY times. As of our last move, the kids were 9 and 7 and they did just fine. And, we moved from AZ, where we had all kinds of family, to HI! I agree with everyone else here, you need to do this for yourself, because if you are happier, the kids will only benefit from it. Your son will find many new friends, so don't worry about not having any cousins his age around. This could just be God's opening of that window for you, since your wife decided to close the door on her relationship with you. Keep us informed on your decision so that we can keep you in our prayers for your move.<P>Tigger

Floored, my H was in the military for 20 years. We moved many times, the hardest was when we had a teenager. We moved our 3rd child 3 times when she was in HS, 3 different states. She survived but we bent over backwards to accomodate her. The little ones always handled it best.<BR> A funny story, our youngest moved 4 times in 3 years. After we moved to TX, he came home from preschool to our house. In the yard was an election sign for local election. He got out of the car and stamped into the house, "oh, no we're not moving again. Well, unless we move near MaMMa (his grandmother) I'm not going!" We had spent a year with a "For Sale" in the yard, he thought all yardsigns were for sale signs.<BR> Hopefully we'll be moving to Houston in a year. He is looking forward to that move because extended family is there he wants to be close his cousins. He is 7 now<BR> Your children will do OK so long as YOU are there and all things that make their home a home. Good luck and do what's best for all of you. (Will you still be in TX?)<P>Texasgirl

Thanks for the encouragement. Texasgirl, I'll actually be about an hour north of Austin. I can't imagine living anywhere but TX, even though I love the mountain states. I am going to take this slow but I really think I am going to go for it. I don't want to do it for the money, but I'm tired of barely scraping by and want my kids to have a good role model such as my sister. She is a good mom and wife, so maybe they will gain some insight on what a mom should really be.<BR>Floored

floored,<BR>Hey it looks like things are looking up sounds like possitive things are coming your way. Thats great your kids will have your sissy for a role model. I think you'll find that the children will do just fine with the move probley even finer then fine. That extra money sure cant hurt.A happy daddy is what is going to make the kids happier to. Good for you floored its about time. with love flowerseed

Dear Floored, <P>I've read all the posts so I won't wax redundant. But let me say:<P>A clean slate! A new beginning! Family near by! New friends! New memories to build! A great new job opportunity! Three to four times the money, Honey!!! <P>Oh, Floored...I am so very, very pleased for you and your new and wonderful opportunity...I can just imagine the excitement involved just entertaining the possibilities that exist here that may bring you blessings you couldn't fathom three months ago.<P>Floored, spouse and I just moved 2.5 hours from the city, living in the woods up north and loving it. We feel so brand new and fresh and the bad memories are fading fast. This is the best thing we could have done for ourselves. When our kids come to visit, it will be for entire weekends, not for just dinner once a month.<P>My move certainly had a positive effect on my mental state. If you have any doubts at all, pray for God's guidance and ask for His will. So, do what you need to do to begin the process and let the rest take care of itself.<P>Good luck to you, Floored.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=