I will be out in the tourist area my husband works in over the 4th of July (my family has a beach house there). Over this past year I have avoided his store like the plague. The OW works there also (though now in a differnent dept.) Everyone there knows she gave birth to his child in Dec. We are separated for 10 months of Plan B and have just begun counseling together over the past month.<BR> <BR> Anyway, I have this urge (stupid or good strategy?) to troop into his store with our 4 kids in our way out to the beach house. We used to do that everytime we went out there and he would be so proud and show off his family. Now I know it will cause him embarrassment but that is not my real reason (well, OK maybe a little). I want his coworkers (and hopefully the OW) to see what she broke up, that we're never going to go away, that I look damn good (lost 40 lbs., tan, etc.). I want their coworkers to be reminded that she slept with a married man, and he has another family to support also.<BR> <BR> Even thought it would be hard I think I can do this (CD where are you?) I would prepare for it as if it were a role in a play. I would walk in with my head up. Make sure everyone called him daddy etc. <P>I also think because we started counseling I could honestly (sort of) say that I'm not being manipulative but just trying to regain some of the life we had with him.<P> Well, what do you all think? Terri, do I need a boot in the [censored] again? Is this me just trying to put a spin on things, control what I can't control or is this a good way to remind the world we're still here and will never go away?<P>Depending on you guys again for some common sense.<BR> Fondly,<BR> Kris

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by quakermom321:<BR>[BAnyway, I have this urge (stupid or good strategy?) to troop into his store with our 4 kids in our way out to the beach house[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You go, girl!!!<P>Bama<BR>

Here I am!<P>Quakermom, I say do it, but only if you can go in there with a smile on your face and if you are one hell of an actress. You want to be able to be totally nonchalant and look extremely happy to see your hubby. You want to send the message that you are ready to claim what is yours and that you are NOT the one who has anything to be ashamed of. I did almost exactly the same thing during separation, and let me assure you that nothing brings out shrewish belligerent ow behaviors like the wife parading the family around in her "turf". Especially if the wife makes a point of telling everybody that she and h are working on reconciling. Ow will be doing all sorts of lovebusters afterwards. I think it's terrific strategy, if you're sure you can maintain your composure and pull it off. Be all class and dignity. Which you are anyway!<P>By the way, my internet is still working. I don't know why . Maybe they forgot to shut me off. i'm sure they'll catch it sooner or later, but for now I'm going to enjoy it while I can, haha.<BR>with love,<BR>cd

QM, one thing that I try to do when I am making decisions is ask myself "what is my true intent" with my action. And try to make all decisions & actions be based on what is good for you & your family. Disregard any action that you may take or not take based on OW. Just stay true to you & your family. Other than that... who cares. I don't care about other workers, OW, etc., etc. Hope that is helpful. <P>Carolyn

Quakermom it sounds good to me. If it's something you've always done do it again. Be proud. Walk those 4 kids in the store as usual. OK? ok.<P>Forty pounds lighter? Tan? Great!!!!<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Hello Guys,<P> CD- Yes, I think I can go in there with a smile on my face. I can be very strong if I have to. I usually stopped in there and did my grocery shopping for the beach house and might do that just like old times. I think it could blow her (ow) mind.<P> Carolyn, I appreciate what you are saying but really my agenda is pretty clear. It is to show that we are still here, will not go away, remind her of what he has to support and remind the world that she slept with a VERY married man. I've only taken the high road so far and don't believe this is out of that realm. I would never stoop to making a spectacle and will do my best to be my classiest.<P> Gemini - 40 lbs lighter, tan, and will wear my most flattering outfit of course.<P><BR> By the way ladies tonight is counseling session # 5 - wish me luck!!!<P> Kris

Kris, I'm with cdcollins on this one. Do it ONLY if you can do with dignity and class, and with a real smile on your face. DON'T do it to try to manipulate your husband, but I have to say that if you can rub OW's nose in it, honey, you go! (I do not have any use for people who pursue other people who are married).<P>As long as you have no expectations of your husband, seriously, it wouldn't be a terrible thing. And it might be a reminder of good times gone by for your husband... who knows?<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>