We have had ALOT of medical issues to deal. Our D has has alot of problems since her birth and getting the medical info has help pin point some of the problems she has had. OM and his W, mainly his W was gracious enoguh to fill out the form we sent and getting it back proved to be good for us. I found a lump in each of D breasts and we had to take her to an Endocrinologist, he is testing her for some of the things that were listed in the form. Being only 7 months old, it is good to have at least a partial describiton of OM family medical history, that way when issues come up with D we have some idea of what it is caused by. <P>Even though the way she was concieved was wrong, God wanted me to have her and I prayed that he would not take her from me. That is not part of his plan for her and I am grateful. I was scared to death that the lumps were cancerous, luckily they are not right now, but at least I have some ground to stand on knowing the family history. <P>I know alot of you said to leave it alone...I am glad I didn't!<P>AKA-RY<P>"She is My Blessing and my H loves her!"

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by My Blessing:<BR><B>mainly his W was gracious enoguh to fill out the form we sent </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Gracious, forgiving, accepting, kind...<BR>Your OM's wife is outstanding.<P>Bama<P>

Thank you everyone for the enormous amount of support you have all given me! I appreciate ALL the responses you have given, it is so comforting to know that their are adults out there who would not wish harm to come to the IC when it comes to medical problems. I am glad all your step children are healthy and you do not have to face the fear of losing these sweet little children out of your lives forever. It would be ashame if you could not have the pleasure of knowing them and having them enrich your lives! <P>It would be better from your view if they didn't exsist, I know.<P>AKA-RY<P>"She is My Blessing and my H loves her!"

Your sarcasm is so unbecoming. <P>What do you want from this board? If you got less than perfect advice, perhaps you did not make the facts clear. I'm glad you got helpful medical info from MM's wife for your daughter's sake; her situation could be serious. <P>You are correct: no one wishes harm to the innocent children. And yes, our lives would be easier if they did not exist, particularly in cases where we are in no position to parent them, no way to enjoy them in any way shape or form. Instead, we get to pay money out of the family income to someone like you for the privilege of raising them. Congradulations! Our loss (of OC) is your gain!<P>I sincerely hope your daughter lives a long happy life, and I hope you appreciate your H for making your family complete.

Jenny... thank you! I would take the OC is a heartbeat & raise her. The OW will not let me near her. I have done nothing to warrent this attitude. I have only my two boys at heart & OC is their sister. So again... thanks for defending those of us who have been pushed up against a wall, given no options, and then told how selfish we are. God bless you... Carolyn

Duplicate message deleted.<p>[This message has been edited by Mrs. Job (edited July 12, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by takingcare:<BR><B>Jenny... thank you! I would take the OC is a heartbeat & raise her. The OW will not let me near her. I have done nothing to warrent this attitude. I have only my two boys at heart & OC is their sister. So again... thanks for defending those of us who have been pushed up against a wall, given no options, and then told how selfish we are. God bless you... Carolyn </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR> Have you tried using the courts to allow your involvment with the oc? My ow said "I would never be a part of her childs life" Well guess what, the judge told her she was wronge. ANYONE that WANTS to be involved with the oc can. You have to put up with a lot of crao just ask me or cd or anyone else that is involved with the oc but the love and the rewards are soooooo worth it. If involvement is what you want.<P>

My Blessing/AKA Regretfully Yours,<P>How very, very unkind of you.<P>I for one did not even recognize you under your new name. In fact, when I read your post of July 11th, I was puzzled by who you were and why you seemed to be assuming that we knew your story. I actually felt bad that someone was in so much trouble and I didn't recognize them. I felt like I had missed something and I was going to go back through old posts to see what I had missed. Once I recognized that "AKA RY" meant AKA "Regretfully Yours" I now remember you asking for opinions on getting medical information from the OM. I don't for one minute remember you mentioning that your D had serious medical issues. Here is hoping and praying that there is nothing serious and that she recovers quickly.<P>No one here, not a single person, not ever, has wished ill health on any of these children, nor wished the OC dead. Shame on you, shame, shame, shame for even implying that we do. Wishing that the child were never born, that our spouses had never strayed, that we had never been hurt in a way that you, as a Wayward Spouse, cannot even begin to understand is a very, very different thing than wishing horrible things on the child born of the affair. There isn't one of our spouses who isn't incredibly lucky that they aren't out the door with a swift kick to the behind after what they have done. God bless your husband for being strong enough to love your child. He is a good man and maybe you don't know how truly lucky you are. <P>I wish you, your daughter and your husband have a very good life, but please don't hang around here until you learn to control your temper and your uncalled-for sarcasm a little bit better. You still seem to be quite unrepentent for cuckolding your husband and pretty self-righteous to boot.

Mrs Job,<BR> I also figured this was Regretfully ours right from the start. If I remember right you only wanted the iformation just because you were what ifing. By the way everyone of my kids had lumps in there breast when they were babies even my son. I was told it was normal. Give it a rest regrets.

My Blessing (AKA RY),<P>I was very surprised to see your response on this thread, accusing the women and men on this board of being uncaring people! I have been one of the women who are in your shoes who have been graciously accepted on this forum. I have been such because I have respected the other women here and what they are going through. I have tried to help you out repeatedly since you first arrived here, and wasn't able to read everything on the boards these past couple weeks, so missed your post until today. I want to say that I am happy that you received the medical info for Hannah, and that you are able to rule out some things using that info. However, just because you only had one response to your post is no reason to become so sarcastic to these women!<P>Maybe you should take a look at CD's lates posts, and Gem's current situation! They are 2 of the women here who WANT to be involved in the OC's life, but are having a very hard time doing it because of the OW's b!@#$yness! THAT is what most of the OW who became involved in their lives are like, and THAT is why there is such bitterness towards them! Yes, these women's lives WOULD be much better if the OC didn't exist, but they have never blamed the child, or wished it ill-will!<P>Don't take offence if you don't receive the many posts you were expecting! There have been many times I have posted something, and only receive a handful of responses. I have never taken offense, and never will.<P>I will pray that Hannah continues to thrive, and that the medical info you received helps if something more comes up. We decided to go about Abbi's medical history blind, as we don't want to have anything to do w/OM, and don't want to cause his W(possibly XW) any more pain! There are so many things that can be done in today's world, that I don't feel it necessary to have that info. God has helped us get this far, He will always be there for us, and it is His decision whether we will all be healthy or not.<P>Please, don't blame these strong, brave, wonderful women on this board for your mistakes, and don't accuse them of wishing ill for these OC! <P>Tigger

Regretfully Yours,<P>A few months ago, during the time when h and I had no contact at all with oc (because of our agreement to allow ow's fiance to adopt oc, which turned our to be another one of ow's lies), ow called my mother's house at midnight asking for our phone number so that she could get my h's medical info. She said that oc was experiencing seizures, and that she was going to be taking her to a neurologist to find out why. Said she needed to ask h questions about his family's medical background. My mother - and why she called MY parents for this, I'll never know - told her that she couldn't give out my number, but that if ow gave her number, she would have me call her immediately. I called ow and after listening to her tell about oc's seizure problems, turned the phone over to h, who answered every question she had. I then got back on the phone and told ow that we were naturally very concerned about oc's health, and asked ow if she would let us know how things turned out. Ow said she would call as soon as she found out anything, and asked for our address so that she could write next time instead of calling, because she didn't have long distance. I gave it to her, and told her that if there was ANYTHING we could do to help, to let us know. I even offered to send her some cash to help out with travel expenses, since the neurologist was located 2 hours away from ow's house. I also asked about the adoption, which she said was going to take place within weeks, that we'd be getting papers about it in the mail soon. Said oc was extremely happy with her new daddy, and that she appreciated us taking the time to talk with her about the medical info. When h and I got off the phone, we took a few minutes to pray about oc's problem, and I continued to pray for her health every day that followed.<P>Two months later, we did get some papers in the mail. Ow had reopened her child support claim against h. We called her to ask about it, and that is when she sprung the news that the adoption agreement was a scam on her part, an attempt to make h lose his parental rights so that she could collect child support without having to give us visitation. I asked how oc had made out at the neurologist. Ow laughed and said that oc had no seizure problems at all, that she had just wanted a good excuse to get our new address.<P>Very nice, eh? Just one more example of us being genuinely concerned about oc, and of ow manipulating our emotions and using oc as a pawn.<P>-cd

I didn't mean to come off sarcastic, I just hate the thought that you all lump me in the same sum as your OW. I have never used my D as a pawn and will not. The lumps are something to worry about since they are getting larger and there are tests being done to find out about them.<P>I am glad flowerseed your children turned out to be fine. <P>No I never mentioned her medical problems b/c I didn't feel it important at the time, I do know. <P>I never said in my post that you wished the OC/IC to be dead? I would hope none of you have feelings like that. <P>I, for one was willing to be responsible and face what I did, even paying for a DNA screening so I know who the sperm donor was. I know. I am not willing to gamble with my D life and go blinding into the sun hoping nothing serious comes up in the future. The future may just be too late. <P>I am sorry CD that she did that to you, a child is not a pawn, there are other ways of obtaining the information she wanted with involoving OC/IC. <P>Yes OM's W was nice to send the info, I am glad she is more adult than her spouse. Like I said, I didn't want him, she can keep him. <P>I am sorry if I was a bit snide earlier, I have my bad days too you know!<P>P.S I KNOW how lucky I am to have my H, that's why I feel in love with him.<P>AKA-RY<P>"She is My Blessing and my H loves her!"