I am so very stressed...it is the end of school (for this semester) and I am overloaded. I dont get much help at home and am getting pissed there. Next semester I am supposed to be going to school full time and working doing taxes. Im now not sure how that is going to happen.<p>I found out earlier this week that we are going to have a baby. I know this should be a joyous occasion and I was gonna wait to tell you all when I was happy about it. I figure before too long I will be.<p>This puts a big damper on my plans. Yes I know it can still be done, but my H has been working 2 jobs to be able to pay for my school and child care for our daughter and half for his first daughter plus child support. We live in a 2 bedroom and obviously this isnt the best place to be. We never see each other and well......<p>My timing and Gods were not the same and this is an adjustment I am trying to make. I have been REAL moody and my ow has been getting under my skin. She is still psycotic. <p>Then I come here and there is all this crap going on. I dont mean to bail on those who need an "oldie" to ground them against these freaks who come here to stir up emotions. But these people with attitude problems are getting to me.<p>This is no longer what it should be and that is so very dissappointing. As Mycross said this is supposed to be for SUPPORT! I am so sick of it...literally. Our moderators dont seem to care much and keep preaching "cant we all just get along". Well, obviously we cant.<p>I just have enough stress in my life right now. I start to read a post and end up with my blood pressure sky high. I am already worried that I am letting myself stress too much.<p>Anyways, Ill come back to check this thread but I am afraid that is it until I feel more stable.<p>I love yall and will miss yall tremendously.<p>Love<p>broken_wings<p>saderangel@hotmail.com

Broken wings,
I know how you feel. I to feel the same our safe place is pretty rotten now days. Hope things get better for you soon. <p>When I got preg for our little girl I was having problems with it also. Things will work out you'll see. Take care o.k.
with love flowerseed<p>[ November 18, 2001: Message edited by: flowerseed ]</p>

Congratulations bw! Everything happens as it should [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It looks like we were posting at the same time. I agree with you. I come here for support and to support(when and if I can), but then I read all this other stuff and that's not what I come here for. enough said.<p>Can you and dh re-read His Needs, Her Needs? As I said before, it's been great for us! We have the book and the tapes.<p>love and light,
tinlizzy

Ladies<p>I sincerely hope neither of you or anyone else leaves this forum. I just posted on Tin Lizzy's thread. <p>This behavior is ridiculous, childish and is not in any way the behavior that is encouraged by the Marriage Builder's Forum. I am aware of what is going on, and I'm trying desperately to keep it as safe and sane as possible. <p>I do care, and so does each and every one who volunteers their time to moderate at this site. In my defense, I do have life. I have my own problems and demons to fight regarding the after effects of infidelity. Daily challenges like any of you. <p>It would require me to be in front of a computer 24/7 to know every minute what is going on with this forum. That would be counter productive for my own marriage.<p>I rely on you the members of this forum to alert me when things are not right. <p>broken_wings<p>Congratulations of your upcoming gift of a baby. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] The positives will soon out weigh the negatives. <p>In closing I am going to add what I have posted in another thread prior to this. <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Dear Valued Members of Marriage Builders who post on the Pregnancy/Child section of this Forum,<p>This forum in particular is a very sensitive forum. The people who post here most often have the toughest battle of all of the Infidelity sections of the forum. Because of this it sometimes make moderating this forum extremely challenging. Therefore I feel it necessary to start this thread.<p>Many threads lately have gotten off topic and in a bad direction. My e-mail is posted here so that any member who feels there is a problem with a thread or that feels there is a need to bring something to my attention can do so. I welcome all the e-mails I get and feel fortunate to be able to help on a section of the forum that often needs a bit more attention and tender loving care than the other ones sometimes do. With that said I must add a bit more.<p>It's imperative that we treat one another with respect! Apply the very same Marriage Builders principles and rules that we find here to apply to our marriage to one another on this forum as a whole. Particularly on this section of the forum, I ask you to possibly not interject your point of view or opinions when they aren't wanted. The purpose of these forums is to support one another and help in any way we can. When we can't do that in a clear conscience, then perhaps we shouldn't add to a thread at all? Bickering will in no way accomplish that goal, the one Steve Harley had in mind when he developed this forum.<p>I am by no means telling you what you can and cannot post. I am simply trying to give you some suggestions that will help you with the whole process of healing and bringing your marriages to recovery. Censoring the sections of the forum I moderate is not a desired function of a moderator or a frequent practice. It is only used as a last resort. <p>Peace and harmony on the forum is what we all really need. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] We all have had enough discord in our own personal lives to last a life time. Let's focus on making this section of the forum a safe place to post when we need encouragement and when we want advise. Even a safe place to vent. <p>I welcome any suggestions or thoughts on this matter. If you feel they are too inflammatory, then simply write me an E-mail at Xarelel@aol.com . <hr></blockquote><p>and<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I did see the replies to this thread earlier today. I of course was at work, although that usually doesn't stop me from responding, this response required more thought than I was able to give today while I was working.<p>I have been challenged to address on this very public forum the person that some have assumed has been the topic of my thread, at the very least the focus of my thread. In response to that I need to inform you of my duties as a moderator.<p>I am here to try and insure that this section of the forum goes as smoothly as possible. I am not here to single out any one person/member. <p>During the midst of this current discord on this section of the forum I have not only witnessed one person breaking our basic policies, but at the least a few. I wish at this time that no one would point a finger and instead look deep within oneself and decide if perhaps you too have been guilty of disrespectful judgments? Or being unsupportive? My suggestion at this time is for each and every one of you to look into yourself deeply and fairly to see if you have been guilty of this?<p>My only other suggestion is simply this...
That each and every one of you, not to post to someone you don't care for or whom you question their motives. If they aren't legitimate and they don't get any attention, they'll usually go away and find another site where they can get the attention they crave.<p>Discord and the typed verbiages which leads to the bickering amongst each other serves no purpose and it surely does not serve the purpose of healing from this double sting you, the members of the Pregnancy/Child section of this forum have. It only facilitates confusion, hurt and anger. It gets in the way of the ultimate goal of healing a marriage. Which contrary to the climate of some of these post is the PURPOSE of all of the forums on the Marriage Builders site.<p>We will always as members, find someone or some posts on this site we eminently disagree with. Bantering back and forth serves what purpose? The only one I can see is confusion and strife. If any one else sees another please feel free to post it here or inform me at my e-mail
Xarelel@aol.com address.<p>I sincerely feel that if you all follow this suggestion you will find this forum a better place for not only yourselves but everyone. <hr></blockquote><p>One more thought, which is repetitive.<p>Please DO NOT post or bring up posts that are negative for the purpose of Marriage Building. It's only hurting everyone and the purpose of this forum.<p>[ November 18, 2001: Message edited by: Xarelel ]</p>

Flowersex ,<p>I too find it so sad what has happened here and I pray it will get back to normal soon. I hope the joy will come soon....how long did you wait for it? I think maybe when I feel the baby itll become wonderful. I hope. Thanks for understanding.<p>Tinlizzy,<p>Actually we have not read His Needs, Her Needs. I actually have the tapes and have had them for quite some time, but for some reason havent listened to them. I think maybe I do better with the book than the tapes. I have the book also but lent it to a friend before I could read it. She is getting divorced now so I guess she doesnt need it anymore, huh.<p>As far as H reading it...HA! He doesnt have time to look at his family nowdays. I think maybe we should take a picture for him so he can remember us. I can see if he will listen to the taped since he does have a tape player in his car but it might be easier just to pull all his teeth one by one.<p>Xarelel,<p>I know you have a life and all. I didnt really mean anything towards you. It is just that some dont care about MB policies.....repeatedly dont care. I ahve no problem admitting I have thrown them out the window occasionally and I apologize to you for making your job more difficult. But others seem to have a problem distinguishing from an occasional temper tantrum and attitude problem. Its the continual attitude problem that I can not tolerate. And others come here for insight. Well that is fine and dandy, but just conversing with an "ow" who has no obvious remorse is enough to throw some of us way off the path of healing. Me included right now since I am dealing once again with my own POW (psycotic ow).<p>Thanks for the congrats. I do appreciate it.<p>Love to All,<p>bw

broken_wings<p>I am not taking this personally, I just wanted to point out that moderators are volunteers and not employed by the Marriage Builders Forums.<p>You have not made my job harder, others have. I still hope you won't leave the forum as I feel you are a valuable member of this site with much to offer to all. You also have a need for support, encouragement and maybe some advise. Please just ignore the nonproductive posts and continue to stay here. After all, if you leave it will appear to the people who are causing problems like they are achieving their goals. You don't want that do you?<p>I'm sorry the OW in your story is such a huge problem.

broken wings,
My heart aches to hear that you are not receiving what you need in your life, from here or elsewhere. I know life can be so overwhelming. I am thankful that I dont have so much on my plate right now. I guess the good Lord wants to distract you and bring this child to you so you can begin anew... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
It sounds like these past few months have been rough for you. Please keep the faith. If you need to take a break for your own sanity...by all means, do what you have to do. I hope, though, that you will find your way back. You have been helpful to others in many ways and we obviously need your positive insights. If I can help in other ways.... tjorleans@prodigy.net

BW,<p>I just wanted to let you know that I&#8217;m thinking of you and wish good things for you and your family.<p>OB1

BW,<p>I sent you an email.<p>Tee

BW,<p>You are in my prayers, sweetie. And congratulations on your miracle growing inside you. God will give you the wisdom, strength, patience and all the love you need to get through these times. He won't ever leave you. <p>Big Hugs and I am sending my prayers of HOPE to the Big Chief right now for you,<p>Julia

Tryin,<p>Thanks so much for your concern. I do think I will take at least a short break from here, for as long as I can stand it anyways [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sometimes it feel like this forum is addicting ya know. I will keep faith in God, always, thank you.<p>Ohbratti,<p>How did Jonas's b-day go? Hope all is well with you and him. Thank you for your well wishes.<p>
Unsure,<p>I did get your email. Thank you. I have saved it. It meant a lot to me. Did I email you back? I thought I did, cant remember. Ugh, so scatterbrained these days. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Julia,<p>Thank you. That is so sweet. And I appreciate those prayers more than you know. Or maybe you do. Just thank you for thinking of me.<p>Love to all,<p>bw

BrokenWings I understand your need to take a break. I haven't been able to be here much these days either.
I do hope things begin to slow down a bit for you.<p>I am very happy for your impending birth. I know it seems overwhelming to you but keep the faith baby...
love
Debi