Hello all. Last Friday I went with my wife to the OBGYN and they did THE sonogram. The baby is a healthy little girl. This event was full of very mixed emotions for me. I was truly glad the baby is a girl. It makes the issue of reconciliation easier for me. I'm partial to little girls anyway (not that I don't love my boys!) and with the affair it's just easier. It was hard to know which feelings to acknowledge and embrace and which ones to acknowledge and then move away from. It's very, very hard to know that baby is not my own. I feel a peace about it all though. We are talking about the name Maison for her. I've been here lurking, but just haven't felt like I had too much to offer. I've been keeping up with you, Pops, and think of you often.

P51,<p>That is a relief. I am really hoping that ow has a girl too. She told h it is a boy, but there is always hope. I know of a story where the family bought all boy stuff for the baby and it turned out to be a girl. Anyway, i am happy to hear there is peace for you, no matter how small the amount - it is always a blessing. Maison sounds like a great name.<p>God Bless,
Love, Julia

p51, good to here from you again. i have often wondered how things were going for you. it's nice to see you and your wife are working together with this. fh choose the name grace on her own as i was not very much help with anything like that at that time. it sounds like the 2 of you are making some good headway and that maison is drawing you closer to each other.<p>i remember all to well the day we went for fh's amnio and we saw grace on the monitor. as amazed as i was at actually seeing a life developing it was as you have just experienced a very hard thing for me to sit through knowing she was not mine and growing inside my wife. i also sat with her during the geneology interview and listened to my wife describe the om's cultural back ground, health, etc.. very hard. the news that it was a girl was a huge relief for me though. i am sure it was that manly pride thing raising its ugly head but it helped some at the time. i was also concerned with the fact that the om would probably be more likely to be involved if grace had been a greg. i remenber sitting up late at night when fh was sleeping and watching the ultra sound video of grace, then watching the ultra sound video of natalie (our youngest) over and over trying to find similarities in the girls in order to make some connection with grace. actually sitting and crying from the emotions i was feeling both of amazement and pain. it was truely a confusing time.
maybe the peace that you feel is because it is a girl. not taking anything away from boys (yours or mine) but somehow i feel that as a dad little girls need that extra little bit of protection from us to make them feel secure. who knows maybe i am just stetching for a connection or maybe the peace you are feeling is because of the rocky road your marriage has taken and you are starting see some of the pumps smooth out. i hope this is the case as you certainly have had your share of stumbling blocks. i must say that i admire your dedication and conviction to your marriage as i am sure mine would not have survived had it involved as many hurdles as you have faced. i say this with a knowledge that one never knows what he will actually do until faced with each specific situation, but i do feel i know my limitations.<p>hope all continues to improve for you and look forward to hearing from you again.

P51,<p>I, too, am happy to hear that things are continuing to go as they are for you and your W. I remember when I had my ultrasound, and the fear that this child was going to be a boy. One thing my H said, was if it had been a boy, he wanted to name it after himself, kinda as a dig to xOM. He was very happy to hear that it was a girl(at least an 80% chance of that). And, of course, she is a girl, and has H wrapped around her finger.<p>I like the name Maison. It is very pretty. I will continue to keep you and your W in my prayers.<p>Tigger