MY D-DAY WAS 11/29/02. I THINK I'VE GONE THRU ALL OF THE EMOTIONS KNOWN TO MAN. I'VE BEEN HURT, ANGRY, DEVASTATED,ETC..BUT AFTER ALL OF THESE FEELINGS I STILL LOVE MY HUSBAND, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT TO. OC IS 3 YRS AND H HAS NOT HAD A SEXUAL REATIONSHIP WITH OW SINCE THE PREGNANCY RESULTED. I FEEL LIKE MY EMOTIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL. I'M CONFUSED. ONE MINUTE I'M CRYING, THE NEXT MINUTE WE ARE MAKING LOVE. AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING- THE SEX, PASSION, INTIMACY ETC. IN OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS QUADRUPLED! THIS DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. OW HAS NOT CONTACTED H FOR CS. I FIND THIS STRANGE. OH YEAH THE OW WAS M BUT SEPARATED AT THE TIME OF AFFAIR. SHE IS NOW D.
IS ANYONE ELSE GOING THRU THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER? HELP! SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING.

Welcome to the board. I am so sorry that another spouse has strayed and caused the person he loves so much pain. <p>I really need to get some work done this morning, but I just wanted to let you know that everything you said sounds perfectly normal to me.<p>Lots of us had a sexual renewal right after D-day. I just wish ours had lasted a little longer.<p>MJ

jordyjordy, <p>yep, sounds pretty 'normal' to me too! the basics of our situation sounds similar. age of oc, no contact after pregnancy, no cs, fabulous sex, great communication and more. i think that it's kind of like a honeymoon phase. it counfused me as well, but then i came here and see that other people have experienced that as well. i don't think that it lasts, with the majority of people and it's the beginning of the rollercoaster!<p>you've come to the right place!<p>tinlizzy

Hello,
Sounds pretty normal to me.
About CS. You said that OW was married. I know in a lot of states if you are married you have to put your H's name on the birth certificate if you are married. If OW husband's disputes it then he has to get a paternity test. Do you know if your H signed the birth certificated? Birth certificates are public record maybe trying to go down to vital records and seeing if there is a father listed.<p>Dawn

I don't know if it's normal or not, but I can certainly understand how you're feeling. It is like your life and your emotions are on a rollercoaster. And it hurts so bad, even after years have passed. In my case the OW who is still married has asked for child support. However, she nor her husband want my H to have any rights to the child. My H and the OW have come to an agreement in which he sends her a check each month. And he expects me to handle his business, which only serves to remind me of his infidelity.<p>This year, I have decided to stop going up and down, and to start taking care of me. What that specifically means right now, I admit I don't know yet, but I am being very prayerful that I allow the Lord to direct my path and my actions.<p>I love my son, but I don't know how I feel about my H. I never believed that we would end up in such a mess!<p>All I can suggest is that if your husband is willing to work with you toward a genuine healing, go for it. But through it all remember that YOU are important, and that you deserve only the best. God created you and you are beautiful because you are in his image. God intended for marriage to be until death do us part; therefore, he will give you what you need to handle whatever happens.<p>I will keep you in prayer. Please do the same for me.

jordy,
It's all normal, normal, normal--really! (including the sex!) You are going through the same grief as if someone had died. Please read my post "thoughts for newbies(again)". It talks about these feelings and more. I'm so sorry for your pain. Hang in there!!<p>Jenny
in recovery 3+years and happy [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Many MBers recommend that you read Harley's book, "Surviving An Affair." It addresses more specifically where you go from here. <<<<HUGS>>>>