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#807736 01/20/02 09:35 PM
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In the time I've known about this website, I have read about a million different postings. It seems like most of you have your heads in the ozone regarding these affairs that your husbands have had or are having, and children that have come out of them. It appears that this website is used to hold unjustified b**** sessions and conduct pity parties. You women need to open your eyes! <p>Number 1, no one FORCED your husbands to cheat on you! You all need to quit acting like these men didn't have a choice in the matter, they can think for themselves, and they did what they wanted to do. If things were so peachy at home they would have NEVER LEFT! Maybe you women should stop bashing these "OW'S" and focus on why your husbands bailed out in the first place!<p>Number 2, you women should really stop victimizing these children. The kids are the one's taking the s*** end of the stick for the bad behavior. If your husbands slept with these women, then your husbands should take care of what they created. No child should ever have to question whether or not their father loves them. The men that don't take care of the children they've created are dirtbags. What are they going to say when their children ask why they weren't there while they were growing up? Is the mother going to solely get blamed again? It takes 2 to tango, those women didn't make those babies alone. Being a father doesn't just consist of your wages being garnished every month. The chose to stray, and they got a little more than they bargained for this time. Now they need to TAKE CARE OF IT! No matter what you say, do or think, they still have child out there. Accept it, you can't do anything about it, so quit b******* about it!<p>Number 3, some of you women talk about God an awful lot in your postings. Your conduct doesn't match up with what you're saying though. You can't talk about how much you're into God, and in the same posting, talk about how much you hate and wish harm or even death onto a child. That doesn't make sense, does it? No, it doesn't.<p>In conclusion, you all need to grow up. Stop your whining and crying, all you do is make yourselves look desperate. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. It's just too bad that a child gets thrown in the middle when things go bad between the mother and father. You women need to let these men clean up their messes, and stop trying to get into the middle of everything. All you do is make it WORSE for everyone involved, and the only person that will end up being resented will be YOU for coming between a man and his child!

#807737 01/20/02 09:46 PM
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Why I feel the need to justify ANYTHING to you is beyond me, but here goes.<p>#1-Not everyone on here b****** as you put it.<p>#2-My h and I not only pay cs, but have biweekly visitation. My h takes full responsibility for his actions and I do not and have never blamed the oc.<p>#3-We are christian people and God led 99% of us here. <p>#4-This site is designed to allow us to vent to each other about our anger and frustration with God's consent.<p>#5-If you truly had paid attention at all to these posts and these men and women, you would know that they are the most loving, supportive, strong, endearing, forgiving, and amazing group of people that I have ever been blessed to know. With the exception, of course, of those who choose to use their anger at ultimately being rejected on those who deserve love.<p>#6-I hope and pray that this will be the end of this thread as it is not worth discussing any further.<p>#7-You ARE the weakest link...GOODBYE!<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: tryin4sainthood ]<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: tryin4sainthood ]</p>

#807738 01/20/02 09:51 PM
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Well, maybe you are the exception to the rule. All I have ever noticed with the majority of the women in here is how they seem to cast the blame on to the "OW" and the "OC" while they shy away from acknowledging the the man's role in the whole thing.

#807739 01/20/02 09:57 PM
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Also, I am, by no means, a weak person. I have been through this, on both ends of the spectrum, already. So, watch who you call weak, I've already been there.

#807740 01/20/02 09:59 PM
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Whateveryouare,
My h is with me as ow was a pass in the night, and child was not what was planned between him and ow, ow planned it to "get him".<p>Didnn't work...awww....too bad huh?<p>Child will grow up in spite of no BIO-DAD.<p>Quit your whining loser and raise the kid as you chose to have him. Remember what my h told you? "I don't want your baby" Remember what you told him? "Don't worry. I won't need your help"<p>That baby is N_O_T_H_I_N_G to ME!<p>It's yours. Period.<p>I've been married longer than time and my h isn't giving me up for your mistaken gamble of "if I build it he will come." You built it and he still isn't there.<p>God does work in mysterious ways eh?<p>A year ago h was so divided. Now he knows how confused he was and calls the baby his MISTAKE".<p>Hey lady, me and our kids are innocents too. I guess he ended up with what made him happy all along. It wasn't you, you cheater! It was us, his God given family. God will provide for you and your child. HE has sent you on your way...so...please go now. <p>Get on with your life and raise your reminder alone. <p>You'll never get help from this side of the coin.<p>MMMMMM so good to have him back where he belongs.<p>Hope someday you can explain it to JR. without him taking it out on you.<p>We are prepared to tell him what h did with you was against God...Satan let you guys play and now you see where satan has taken you?<p>Now it's up to you to swallow your lies and raise him with God's help....and he will provide along with the ransom 18 years of money H will shell out to you for your dirty deeds.<p>So long honey.

#807741 01/20/02 10:06 PM
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I second Trying4sainthoods answer to your post.<p>No matter what end of the spectrum you have found yourself on, you need to be able to vent your frustrations. <p>Though we all have similar problems, each situation is different. And those of us on this board are here to find understanding and support. <p>This board is here for suppport. Of BOTH men and women. There is no differenciating between the 2. We ALL need support. <p>To sum this up, Yes I too think you ARE the weakest link. And it takes someone like you coming in here BASHING our experiences to show that we are STRONGER for them and we are able to get past your petty, hateful statements.

#807742 01/20/02 10:09 PM
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Gemini,<p>You are the type of person I was speaking of. You place all of the blame on the woman involved and none on your CHEATING husband. <p>And, all of those babies out there that get brought into less-than-perfect situations, they'll be okay because GOD TAKES CARES OF THE FATHERLESS CHILDREN!!!!!<p>No child is a "mistake" and they should never be brought up to think that they are. If their fathers are the types to place that kind of label on them - they don't need the CHEATING SON-OF-A-B**** involved in their life anyway! <p>Now, go whine about that for a while to your faithful husband.

#807743 01/20/02 11:08 PM
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You are the kind of person we do not need on this forum. If the only reason you have come her is to attack and hurt others please do not stay. I came to this forum a year ago and I have gained much support and help in my time of need.<p>Over the last year my h and I have spend thousands of dollars to gain visitation of his child from a one night stand, only to lose it over a single bruise and an accusation of abuse by our xow. She is very vindictive and hurtfull, I do not come here to whine about her, but to get advise and support.<p>My h and I wanted to share our lives with the oc and have the oc know his father and silblings. We wanted to help the oc though life and share and teach. We opened our home and lives to the oc and this is the thanks we got.<p>
All of my dear friends on this forum are strong and wonderful women and men and if you do not have anything nice to say do not say anything at all. This forum does not need hurtful and negative words. Best of luck to you in your life, and peace to you, if you have hurtful thoughts and words to share find somewhere else to share them. Gabi1116

#807744 01/20/02 11:19 PM
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I'm sorry about your situation with the child's mother. All I'm saying is that the majority of the women in this forum seem to cast ALL of the blame onto the "OW" and "OC", making it look like they have forgotten - THEIR HUSBANDS HAD A ROLE IN THIS TOO!! If this does not pertain to you, then don't worry about it. <p>The children involved DO have a right to know their other half. GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES! These kids are not to blame, and NO ONE SHOULD PUT THEM IN THE MIDDLE!

#807745 01/20/02 11:54 PM
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Most of the time it is the mother of the oc that is putting the child in the middle. Using the child as a pawn to play a game with people's lives. The victims are the other children and the wives or husbands of the spouse that was not faithful. And let us not forget the children of the marriage, they too are also victims and have to deal with pain and an unsetting situation.<p>I am not the only person on this forum that has chose to and tried to accept the oc into my home and life. There are many others that have, and whether one has chosen to include or not include the oc there should be no comdeming. Everyone deals with their situations in their own way and no one here should judge that.<p>We all have come here to get and give support, help and advise not to listen to and read hurtful, harsh words. We are here to find the help we need to remain in and rebuild our marriages. If you are not here for that than you should not be here.<p>As I said in my last post if you came to this forum to hurt those here do not continue. Whether or not your posts pertain to me and my situation, they do if you are here to hurt others. This forum is a place to go to help rebuild marriages and your post thus far have nothing to do with marriage building. <p>I am sorry if your life experiences have brought you pain, but that is no reason to come here and try to upset and hurt others. Gabi1116<p>[ January 21, 2002: Message edited by: gabi1116 ]<p>[ January 21, 2002: Message edited by: gabi1116 ]</p>

#807746 01/21/02 12:44 AM
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WhateverYouWant,<p>I am asking you politely and respectfully to please leave this board and cease all your posts.<p>Your words are offensive and attacking and in no way are supportive or condusive to the purpose of this Web-site.<p>There is enough gut wrenching pain and anguish on this board, your blaming and blanket accusations only serve to magnify it.<p>Please take your issues elsewhere. The moderators have been notified.<p>God Bless,
JO<p>[ January 21, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

#807747 01/21/02 01:27 AM
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There are some of you in here that still fail to understand what I am trying to say/question. It seems as though you want everyone else to agree with your point of view, and if they don't - you notify the moderator. <p>Is that because YOU can't even justify what you are saying in your postings? Like I said I have been on both sides of the fence, I chose to leave because there is only so much one person can take. Some of you women are so caught up in making excuses for your husbands, it seems like you are justifying what THEY did by blaming it on the woman involved.<p>I'll say it again, NO ONE FORCED YOUR HUSBANDS TO CHEAT ON YOU!! They did it on their own, and need to feel the pain for what they did, as the mother of the child will. There is NO EXCUSE for neglecting YOUR child. All they want is to be loved and guided. <p>I respect the women that have tried to incorporate the these children into their fathers' families. But, for the women that seem to think it is an option for their husbands to be parents to the child(ren) that came from their affair, that's who I am addressing. The women who tell the man - "it's me or the baby", the women who put themselves in the same catagory as a child, why? Because they need to GROW UP.

#807748 01/21/02 02:16 AM
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I know who you are, The part about God is what gave you away, Please go back to GloryB where you have made a home for yourself, just because it has been quiet over there you hope to come here and make trouble, you are pathetic and just very sad, go away

#807749 01/21/02 02:23 AM
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I am also a BS. My H did not have a child with OW. I however do post on MBers and several other boards, including GloryB. I have a pretty good idea you are a certain poster from there. Why can you not use the same respect for these people who are in terribly disabilitating pain that you DEMAND for yourself. NO ONE deserves the blanket antagonism you have shown here. You don't even have the guts to post under the same screen name here.
You come here simply for the pleasure of having a thrill of these good women reply to your anger and disapointments in your own life.
[img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

#807750 01/21/02 02:50 AM
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As far as you all thinking that you know who I am, I'm not the person that you are speaking of. I don't anything about "GloryB", nor do I want to. But, at least there are others out there that feel the same way I do about the pity parties some of you have in here. And, about the way some of you take your anger out on CHILDREN. <p>Pain? Why don't you women think of the PAIN these kids will go through when they are old enough to understand life. Or, the PAIN the men will go through when have to look into the eyes of their child and explain why they werent there for them. Or, the PAIN that YOU will go through when that man resents you for coming between him and HIS child. Think about that.

#807751 01/21/02 04:44 AM
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So why are YOU whining about "whining women?" Why not try to have some compassion for painful situations BS's find themselves in? Obviously you have not been betrayed by your husband in this way, that is, if you have a husband.<p>If you don't like the tone of this forum, then skip it? That's the mature thing to do, right? So maybe you should follow your own advice and grow up and quit whining?<p>Normally I don't even get involved in these types of attacking posts, but it gets a little tiring. It takes away from everything we're trying to accomplish on MB. You are entitled to your point of view, but please don't come here and whine about someone being whiney when everyone is just trying to get healed and stay healed.<p>YOU need to grow up...

#807752 01/21/02 06:08 AM
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>No child is a "mistake" and they should never be brought up to think that they are. If their fathers are the types to place that kind of label on them - they don't need the CHEATING SON-OF-A-B**** involved in their life anyway<hr></blockquote><p>Right! He's not in the child's life. So what's your point?<p>We tried to do visits but ow was appalled "I" was involved too. <p>She made things impossible, as time went on her antics and threats became a total waste of our days.<p>Her true colors began to show.<p>She's put HER c's and HER H through hell as well as our families.<p>No one person {OC} is more important than all of us or OUR feelings and peace. We wish peace to oc and worry about how he'll be teased in the future. Our only hope is that ow will see a baby could not and did not render my H running to her rescue. Hope her and her H work through the problems they have as we did and HE will be "father" to oc. Nothing could be better than to have oc raised in a family where oc is just the same as siblings, not different.<p>Our son and his wife want nothing to do w/ow and her family or oc. Our In-laws are shamed by this and never want oc in their lives. All of H's and my siblings want nothing to do with this either.
H won't resent me. By seeing oc, he'd always have to deal with a wild woman who to this day calls and leaves messages of how she'll wait forever for H and he's truly disgusted he ever knew her.<p>So end of story....<p>No matter what you think, it won't change our minds.<p>Oc is NOT the total being in this situation and will be an adult someday. Hopefully ow's H will be "father" and that will be good enough.<p>Meanwhile H and me and our combined families are trying to put this mess behind us....now can someone let ow know what's going on from our side?<p>[ January 21, 2002: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</p>

#807753 01/21/02 08:44 AM
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I haven't posted in some time,but I will today. MOST ow go to desperate measures to try and trap these MM who won't leave their families for them. And most of these ow who GET THEMSELVES pregnant, go to great lengths to keep the wife out of the oc's life. But that is just too damn bad. We are automatically ,if we choose, these oc's step-mothers. OW HAVE NO SAY AT ALL!!! My H has recently stopped seeing oc because ow doesn't want me involved.That is ow's choice.She is choosing for her child not to see her father. So as far as whining,I don't think so...I am FULLY aware, eyes wide open!!

#807754 01/21/02 08:46 AM
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Ladies!<p>Don't you see this person is just trying to get us angry and it's working? Why do you feel the need to justify yourselves, your actions, and decisions to her/him? Yes, our h strayed but now they are back. Thank God for that! And if they didn't come back, it's his loss, not ours. and thank God for that as well! He/She was blessed to have a spouse like us enter into his/her life willing to accept him/her back into our lives knowing they did one of the most horrible things another human being can do. <p>Just as we have the right to vent, so does this person. And it's interesting to hear ALL views. We do, however, have the right as well, to let it bother us or to let it roll of our backs. Please choose the latter. By this person expressing their views, we have dialogue. This is what this country is made of.<p>Bottom line: if what whateveryouwant is saying doesn't apply to you, then move on. Geesh! There's one on EVERY forum!<p>God Bless you all!!!!

#807755 01/21/02 10:15 AM
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As you all are by now aware, the Preg/Child Moderator, Xarelel, is having some computer problems. I have agreed to help out, if possible. The one thing I CANNOT do is lock a thread. If I could, I would lock this one. <p>So, I am going to ask for your help, dear Preg/Child members: PLEASE DO NOT POST TO THIS PERSON ANYMORE. Let this thread die.<p>In the meantime, I will notify Tempest and MB administration, and ask that this member be banned, as she is clearly a repeat of those we've seen here far too often over the last year.<p>Again, I ask that you NOT REPLY to those who show up only to fight. You have far too much pain in your lives already.<p>Thank you.

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