I posted to you under Not Giving Up's topic on wanting another baby. But in case you missed it, there was something I wanted to say to you.<p>Although I lurk more than I post on MB, I have never thanked you properly for the many prayers you sent my way after losing the twins. I have thought about posting the story, but I have not been able to bring myself to do it. Although I am better, I have not fully faced all of the things that have happened. I'm working on it but it is taking a lot of time.<p>Whenever I read your posts, it seems that you are MY twin separated at birth! We have experienced so many of the same feelings and I have such admiration for your awesome faith. If it had not been for my own deep faith in God, I don't think I would be here today.<p>And I am soooo happy that you and your H are going to adopt. I have been thinking a lot about that myself. I just love children -- anybody's... I wanted to have at least 5 and to have my house full of the noises of life. So many children need a good home, I believe I could provide that and love them just as my bio kids.<p>So, thank you Jenny, for your endless concern about all of us on MB, for your wisdom and sense which is always timely, and for your huge heart and your prayers which we sorely need. May God continue to bless you and your family and cradle you in His arms to protect you. I have been completely blown away by your kindness and caring.<p>One day very soon I would like to tell you the whole story because I believe that you truly understand and you have words that will help me heal. I'm getting there ...<p>love,
heavenly

Heavenly,<p>Thank you very much. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You know my heart goes out to you. I think of you often, because I know the pain lasts a long time, and it hasn't even been 6 months. You had a double blessing, surely a double grief. I'm here whenever you want to talk, and I'll give my email if you like. <p>Even now, when I hear someone's new pregnancy announcement, I feel ambivalent, remember the pain of so many hopes and dreams dashed. But today I got to cuddle a friend's newborn, who was so sweet. Still, there was a time I couldn't do that.<p>I can so relate to your feelings about children. We once planned 4 or 5, but now with ch-support and the cost of adopting internationally, it looks like we're miraculously blessed to get 3, and I hold my breath waiting for the day we get #3 safely home. We cannot adopt domestically while overseas, but domestic is very affordable if you can consider an older foster child or a sibling group. It is a big step to take.<p>Anyhow, thank you so much for your kind words. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I'm so happy to think that I have helped you in any small way. I love to help. <p>When I was deeply in grief, I could not bare the thought that God might let this happen to expand my heart to others, but now, healing from my wounds, I see how different I will be for a lifetime, able to relate to others' pain. I'll still NEVER understand why innocent precious children of sweet parents die. But I keep faith for God and the future. <p>Thank you Heavenly. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

gentle bump for heavenly

Jenny,<p>I want to second everything HB said. Your advice is always so gentle, so perfect, so right on target and at the right time. You have an amazing talent.<p>MJ