Dawn, You and I have kind of the same situation... The OW is getting some assistance and she only knows my H's name.. I realize one day they will find him but for now we are going to take precautions to protect our family ... Even though he should have thought about this before... On Monday we will put the business in my name .... It is a small sandwich shop not much money there ... I will write him a paycheck every week and hope for the best... We do have a 14 year old son that we would like to send to a 4 Year college and by having to pay Cs this dream could be ripped away... We are trying to rebuild our marriage one day at a time... I still have bad days as my Discovery Day was Feb.15 th and it has only been 3 weeks...Although this A ended more than 2 years ago it still hurts... Every day is a fight with in my self for all of the emotions that go along with finding out about the A and OC to boot...I was always the bread winner in our family always carried the health insurance etc... In sept my H asked me to quit my job and work with him so we have no health Ins... it cost $927.00 a month for a family we do not make that kind of $$$$. any way s gotta go

gdavis617,
It sounds like you are doing everthing right. We called child support services and there is no case opened. So I do not think she is on welfare. Since you know she is on welfare I would talk to lawyer to see what they say to do. Dawn

After reading everything again, I've gotten the feeling that you would rather your H not support this child even if it is his.
gdavis sounds the same way.
To me this is wrong. I'm sure it hurts you to know your H fathered a child with another woman but he owes it to that child to be responsible and to own up to his responsibilities.
I'm sure if tables were turned and your H"s left you with children to raise you would want the support owed to you and those children no questions asked.
Why wait for someone to come after you for the support? Why not just be mature and responsible and find out if the child is realy his and if it is why not do the right thing and just start paying?
In the long run the one hurt the most is the child and how selfish of the adults to ignore that part of it all!

Sneezy,
I can answer that question for you.
When I was single and out having casual sex and if I had failed to protect myself from getting pregnant. Would I expect the man
to pay for it for 18 yr?.. or have any responsibility ABSOLUTELY NOT. I cant even imagine blaming someone else for what
goes on in my body. I would have felt it was my problem. I feel what goes on, in ,or around my body is my responsibility nobody
else's. flowerseed

flowerseed
So, you put the whole birthcontrol on the women? That's a step back.
It took two to create this child and there for it should take two to take responsibility for the child also.
Men need to step up and if this man or any other man doesn't want to father a child than that man needs to protect himself. HE put himself in that situation just as much as the women did and therefor needs to admit his respnsiblity in it.
Men can't always take the word of a women when it comes to birth control, by now everyone should realize that so if he's wondering places maybe he shouldn't be then he needs to protect himself.
That's just life!

Sneezy,<p> I just cant picture myself going after a man that I had sex with a few times and expecting him to pay support for 18yrs and be a father. To me I would feel like I was getting paid for using my puss. I think there are two many women that dont think about what they are doing when they bring kids into this world this way.<p> For one I would not have kept a child that was concieved in this way ( iam thinking back when I was single). Meaning not really even knowing someone and having a child. Kids deserve more then that.

I guess I just look at things diffrent. I wouldnt like a man telling me I had to be a mother for 18 yrs because I had sex with him a few times. I sure am glad Iam not a man.
flowerseed

The reasons that I feel I need to protect my family finances are #1 I have always held a full time job and earned more money than my H which never bothered me but I do not feel that becuase some OW felt she was going to steal my H by having his Child that my family should suffer financially. #2 The Ow already has a child by another man and was on welfare prior to this . for some woman this is a way of life. #3 My H is an insulin dependant diabetic and has been for 30years his medicine costs alot and at this time we do not have health insurance. I hear stories where the judges do not care about the Mans family only the 3 people standing in front of him ( man , OW, OC ). My H says he took protection besides her telling him she was on B/c he still says he does not think this is his child. I have to try to protect my self for the one day when my H can not work any more. I am sorry if you do not agree but those are my feelings and I am not saying that every one has to agree with me...