MM received his orders today. He&#8217;s coming back to San Diego. I just finished speaking with his W a short time ago and she&#8217;s not too happy about how things are happening. Typically they would have been given 45 days to make the move. This time they have given him 3 weeks. That doesn&#8217;t give them enough time to do everything that needs to be done for the move. Therefore, his W will be staying behind for at least a month. I told her that visitation could easily be put on hold until she&#8217;s here to participate. She said no, she didn&#8217;t want her H to feel like he couldn&#8217;t see his son when he&#8217;s so close by. She&#8217;s nervous about the move. She&#8217;s not used to big cities, dense population, and rush hour traffic. To top it off, her and H will be separated for at least a month&#8230;.possibly longer. Besides offering to delay visitation until she&#8217;s here, I don&#8217;t know what else I can do. I know MM will want to see his son. What kind of assurances can I give her?<p>Oh, one other thing. She mentioned at the end of the conversation that she wanted to stop by my home on her drive to move out here. She said she had something to say to me and she had to do it face to face. It was very cryptic and I went silent while pondering her comments. She laughed and said it wasn&#8217;t a bad thing, just something to be done in person. Any ideas what that could be?<p>OB1

Eeeeewww. I'd hate that!<p>If she said it "wasn't bad", I wouldn't be too worried about it. If she was 'cryptic' maybe it was because she wasn't alone when she spoke to you. It's best not to make too much out of it and just wait until she swings by. You two have had such an outstanding rapport, it might not have anything to do with you and something to do with her that she needs to tell you about.<p>How do you feel about MM coming over to see Jonas without her? How do you feel about them being in the same city at all? Are you apprehensive or will you be able to handle it OK?<p>I will keep you in my prayers. How is Jonas recovering from the bug bite?<p>Catnip =^^=

OB1,<p>Just a suggestion, but why don't you make it clear to MM and his W, that if she is not with him, the visitation will have to be in a public place, not in or at your home? I think that's totally fair, and they should respect the fact that you have no desire to be alone with him, for any length of time. See if you can work something out like that. I don't know exactly what area you are in, but I do know that there was a great mall near El Cajon that we went to all the time when we were stationed in SD. They had a Merry-go-round that our S loved to ride on.<p>Keep us informed as to what happens.<p>Love,<p>Tigger<p>PS, yes, how is Jonas' bug bite doing?

Jonas' bug bite is so much better. I don't think it hurts him anymore. Now he has the stomach flu. Poor baby. Last night I tried to give him his medicine and he threw it all back up, so I couldn't give him anything to give him some relief.<p>To answer some questions: I think I'm okay with them moving here. I'm actually kind of excited for Jonas. He can benefit so much from this. I'm just not inclined to be alone with MM. I don't trust him because I don't know what motivates him. Tigger, the mall you're referring to is Parkway Plaza. The carousel is still there. They also have a little train, now. I like the idea of meeting in a public place. I don't think MM belongs at my home unless his W is with him. Because of the past, I think it would be better to keep everything highly visible and very open. Kind of like "I come with my arms open and my palms up". <p>OB1

Dear OB1,<p>You are every BS's dream of an exOW.<p>If you still wanted to use your apartment for visitation, what if you made it clear that you will have a friend there with you at all times?<p>Nah, it is probably better to not get him in the habit of dropping by your place, even with supervision. You never know if he might take it in his head to drop by while you are alone.<p>Just some thoughts,
MJ