He’s dead. I can’t believe it. I was sitting here eating my lunch and his brother called on my cell phone. I turned it off because it was so loud and I was embarrassed at the attention. Plus, I was a little perturbed by my lunch being interrupted. I didn’t know who was calling because the number was restricted, so, I let it go to voicemail. I figured, if it’s important enough, they’ll leave a message. I was caught up in myself and completely forgot about my reasons for getting a cell phone. It was for emergencies! Well, the caller left a message, so I grudgingly checked the message. It was my friend’s brother asking me to call him right away. He left their mother’s number, and I instantly knew it was something bad. Why else would he call me from their mom’s house in the middle of the day? My worst thought was “He’s hurt”. I was afraid to call, but I knew I had to, so I did. His brother answered and asked if I was sitting down. Instant dread. I said I was. He said that Dave was dead. He died in a traffic accident yesterday morning. They just found out. He was in the next county over, driving in the early morning, bad weather. His car went off the road and down a 250 foot embankment. He was ejected and died 25 minutes later. He was only 37, had a family who adored him and 2 little girls who worshipped him. His girls were only 9 and 7. He was divorced, but got along well with his ex. He got the girls on the weekend. When his girls came, the rest of the world ceased to exist for them. It was always Dave and his girls. Never, ever would he make any plans for the weekend that did not include his daughters. Many times I saw the sadness on their faces when it was time for them to go home to mom. IT’S SO UNFAIR!!! I always teased him and called him Ward Cleaver (I was "Knucklehead"). In my eyes, he was the perfect dad. I can’t believe he’s gone. I can’t believe his beautiful daughters lost him so soon. They’re devastated. We all are. This isn’t right, damnit! They still need him. My heart is breaking for them and their loss, but also for mine. He was an excellent friend. Always listening and always so kind and thoughtful. On Valentine’s Day, he came by my house in the middle of the night to leave a bag on my door. When I left for work in the morning, I saw the grocery bag, and thought “Great, somebody left their garbage on my door!”. When I opened it, there was a card and a bunch of Hershey’s kisses inside. In the card he wrote “I thought you could use a bunch of kisses today.” That was Dave. Always thinking of how to brighten someone’s day. That was not the first time he did that for me, but now I realize it was the last. I will never have this sweet man around me again. He was ejected from his car! Can you imagine the impact on his body. God, I hope he didn’t hurt. I don’t think I could stand it if he hurt. I want him back! I don’t want him to be gone forever. I’ll never see him again. That’s so hard to accept. For years, I had the comfort of his warm eyes and sweet face. I don’t understand this. I just don’t. He is still needed here!

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you

I am so very sorry for you and for the girls.

OB1,<p>All I can offer are my sympathies! I am so sorry to hear this sad news. I will pray for his family, and you as well.<p>Love,<p>Tigger

I am so sorry, I will remember you and his family in my prayers. <p>Bridgette

Dear Obrahatti1,
This is most devastating news. I will pray for the girls and his ex-wife so that God will guide them through.<p>It is not fair!!!!<p>We lost a worker for my H in late 98 due to a car wreck. He was 23. No family. A Mom and a Dad who were distraught w/him for never doing the right thing.
My goodness it was sad.<p>Mom and Dad spoke of their misgivings and how if given a chance, they'd tell him how much he was loved.<p>I know that he knew you felt that Ob1.<p>Why is not a question we should ask. Have faith, you don't need the why's with what happened.<p>I wish his family and yours a mountain of peace and hope you will sustain in HIS love.<p>love
Debi<p>[ April 16, 2002: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</p>

Dearest Ohbratti<p>I am so deeply sorry for your loss. And so confused why wonderful, worthwhile people like your Dave are taken from us when they are so sorely needed here on this earth. <p>His poor daughters. Yet, on the other hand...what memories of being so loved and so special that their Dad dropped everything and everyone for them.<p>All that love your friend Dave gave to all who knew him well will be sustained with his goodness all your lives even though there is a huge empty space now...in time, his memory will fill that empty space even though no one will ever understand why this outstanding person was taken so tragically so soon.<p>You and his daughters and family are in my prayers tonight.<p>Love<p>Catnip =^^=

In my prayers as well. <p>MJ

Thank you for the prayers. They are so sorely needed right now. I'm hurt, I'm sad, and so very angry. Somewhere in me I know not to question why, but I can't help it. Why do such awful things happen to those who deserve it least?! Even though he is no longer here, I hurt so much for him and all he will miss. He took so much joy in raising his daughters and interacting with his family. All day I've been thinking, in the moments it took for this tragedy to happen, he knew. He knew what was happening and how much he was losing. I know that tortured him more than any physical pain he may have felt. I know Dave. I know his last thoughts were of his girls and how he would no longer be there for them. He deserved so much better. He deserved a long happy life. He deserved to die in a more dignified manner, not on the side of the road somewhere. He died alone. No one who loved him or knew how wonderful he was, was there for those last few precious moments. His broken body is still laying in the morgue, one county away, yet so much farther than we can fathom. I don't want to accept this. I want to know why! I want someone to blame.<p>Everyone who reads this, please take special care of your loved ones. Let them know how much you love them EACH AND EVERY DAY. We take so much for granted. As long as we have breath, we ALWAYS have "one more chance". Death, THAT is final. Dave looked forward to all the special milestones his daughters would reach, such as their first date, graduation, marriage, grandkids... He just assumed that he would be there. Who would have ever imagined that this would happen? My huge lesson for today: don't take life for granted! I've realized my mortality and it scares the hell out of me.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, obratti1. I think it really hits us close to home when our friends get killed or die prematurely.<p>You have some great memories of your friend and I'm sure you will have neat dreams of him and that will keep him living in your mind.<p>Thanks for the good advice to cease the day and say the things that need to be said, enjoy our loved ones and be the best we can be at counting our blessings. Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear that today. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

My thoughts are with you and your friends family. How very sad. Just last month my H lost a friend in an accident. They had been friends since they were 8 years old. It truly is devasting to have to say goodbye to someone is who is so dearly loved.<p>Take care,
Why

OB1,<p>Thoughts, prayers and hugs being sent your way...a loss of someone special is always difficult...<p>Hugs,
Twiisty

OB1<p>{{{{{ hugs}}}}}

Dear Ohbratti,<p>My deepest condolences over the lost of your dear friend. I have had many losses in my life and I know what you are struggling with when you ask why? All around us there are so many wicked people who are living only to make other people miserable. There are so few bright lights that dazzle us with their inner beauty, kindness and love. And when one of those bright lights is extinguished it is as if part of the world becomes a darker and colder place.<p>God does not make mistakes. I like to think that there are so few perfect souls that sometimes God needs them badly for another mission and he must snatch them prematurely from those that are loving them. <p>Please don't dwell on the circumstances of his death. I am sure that at that moment, Dave was dazzled by the brilliance of the after life rather than suffering the pains of mortal life. He is still watching over you and Jonas and his special little girls.<p>May God bless his newest angel and your guardian and protector forever,
love,
heavenly

Hello,
My thoughts and prays are with you!<p>Dawn

OB1,<p>My thoughts and prayers are with you. <p>Unsure

OB1<p>I am so sorry to read about this. Take solace in the fact that he is Home now. You and his family are in my prayers.<p>Love
bw

Ohbratti<p>It's been four days or so since your first post and I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing and to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers.<p>Love<p>Catnip =^^=

Thanks for caring, Catnip. I'm doing okay. The funeral is this week and it's going to be rough. It's so hard to believe he's really gone. One moment he was there, joking and playing around with me; taking the kids for ice cream; going to the park; coming for dinner; and now "poof", he's gone. Just gone. That knowledge permeates into my every act, my every thought. I feel like my mind's been invaded, and it leaves me so helplessly sad. Before Dave, the only other loved ones I had lost were my paternal grandparents. This loss is so very different. We knew when my grandparents were dying. We had time to prepare and accept. With Dave it was so sudden and unexpected. When his brother told me, my first irrational thought was "No, that can't be. We have plans this week. It's his turn to buy ice cream". How crazy is that?

ob
I was thinking of you today and wanted to tell you I hope things are going ok for you. I know how hard it is too go through this. Take care of your self.