Over the years, 28, my wife has always wanted to "stay connected" to her high school reunions, which in the begining I could have cared less about. A number of years ago, I met some of the people who attend these giant reunions and was angered, but not shocked, that a couple of the men I met were looking to "get hooked up" at the reunions and seemed to be living in their self indulgent glorious past.

Well, another one is being held and I have objected to my wife going based on my past observations and:

. I don't think that anyone should put themselves into a situation with mixed company w/o spouses that invites trouble --- TEMPTATION

. I feel strongly about this given my past experience with some of the participants.

My wife sees this a matter of me distrusting her, which is not the case. She goes to great lengths to rationalize her position that she just wants to see old friends, which I am sure is true. But none of these justifications / rationalizations take into consideration my strong objections and logic as to why. I am the one who should not be trusted and now insure that I do not put myself into a compromising situation with the oppisite sex to avoid temptation and even any hint of impropriaty.

AM I WRONG? How should I address this?

Why don't you POJA this and go WITH her??

I agree, why don't you go as a couple? In fact, you are right, temptation is always there. Probably if you are there with her, those guys looking to hook up won't try, UNLESS she is there alone! Ask me how I know this; my husband is the type to try to hook up with any nice looking (younger) woman who is alone - at conventions, etc. Even if I am at the convention, but not in the same room!! Have fun & go activities (social, exercise, vacation...) together!!!

Thank you for the excellent advice. I have a commitment leading a Christian Mission Outreach for three days so I can't go.

We had a very constructive discussion on the subject yesterday and came to an acceptable and mutually agreable solution. She understands my position and concerns and our adult daughter is going to go with her.

As a side note, there a number of books out that I have read regarding men's struggles with lust, infidelity, etc. "Man In The Mirror" and "Every Man's Battle" are just a couple. Another helpful insight for a man to gain understanding of how they are hard wired is "Wild At Heart".

The divorce rate in this area is 60% and is estimated to be 61% in the Christian churches. I think we see more world in the church than church in the world in this area!

ft

I'm glad that it worked out and that your daughter can go. But I would have suggested, had you not had a daughter as a chaperone, that you POJA which event was more important. I also wanted to emphasis that ANY mixed gathering--a bowling alley, a golf course, not just a reunion--is potential affair-ground if that spouse is of that mindset.

Has your wife ever given you doubts as to her fidelity? If not, it's probably that you're a natural worrier--I am too. If you had no sub for the Christian Outreach, I would have requested that W not go, and wait for the next reunion in one year (or five, however they do it).

jo