Is it normal for an in-law to drop off laundry and dishes to be cleaned? My father in-law is not disabled, has an adequate cash flow and regurlarly drops his other laundry at the cleaners so I know he is capable.

About twice a week he will drop off "unmentionables" and socks for laundry, and 4 to 6 forks and spoons for my wife to clean. He usually leaves them on the front door step for everyone in our neighborhood to see.

I have tried discussing this with my wife but it usually ends up in an arguement before it even begins. I have even suggested buying him a washer and dryer.

I have even, on occasion, let the laundry issue go and have asked my wife about the forks and knives but ended up with the same result.

I understand helping out and don't want to be selfish but sometimes I feel my wife is being taken advantage of.

Recently he has started dropping off plants (usually sickly and bug infested), mulch and blantantly telling me where to plant each plant because he doesn't like how our landscape looks. My wife and I spend months each spring doing our landscape to our liking and are satisfied with it. My wife plants the plants to keep him happy which usually results in the other vegetation dying off or becoming sickly. Not to mention the weed killer he sprays around the fence which kills a 2 foot area on either die.

Any advice, nice or otherwise would truly be appreciated. I want to give him my 2 cents to him but fear my wife would have my head.

-Confused

got2know,


He's over stepping his bounds--I'd suggest you read the book Boundaries--by Townsend and McCloud--

I think it would help both you and your wife--

Thanks a bunch! Barnes & Noble here we come.

What!?!

Your wife is an enabler, but she sounds like a sweetheart. It would rub me the wrong way as well, tough situation. Sounds like maybe dad in law uses more energy gathering things up to do this odd request than as if he did it himself. Maybe he likes visiting his daughter and you (maybe you) lol j/k... and uses his cleaning needs as an excuse?? Long shot but gad zooks, that is weird if anything. Pat yourself on the back for biting your tongue and dealing with it. It may even embarass your wife to some degree and that is why she gets a little angry. But, definately almost Austin Powers strange in my book. Maybe you should start taking your plants that are dying to his house and just drop them off. Tell him they are victims of his contaminated plants and you just wanted to see if he could get them at least to a healthier state so he could drop them off at your place...hehe..heck if I know. Just having some fun reading. When you marry, you don't just marry one person, you marry the whole family of problems they are realted to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Two things come to mind...either he feels he needs an excuse to come to see your wife, or he is dealing with the early stages of a mental illness. Leaving stuff on the front step goes beyond eccentric.

Your property is YOUR property though. I would sweetly but firmly tell her that infecting the healthy vegetation is NOT okay...nor is working in your yard without your permission.