My H just accepted a new job, a month and a half ago. I admit that he said the traveling was going to be a little more, but I didn't realize it would be this much.
The first 3 weeks in May he worked in town so he was home every night. Then the training started where he needs to go to all the districts and see how the stores are run and meet the people he will be working with. I am now into my third or fourth week now (I can't remember)and it is taking its toll.
A week ago he left on a Mon morning, came home Fathers day at 10:30 am and then left Mon (today) at 2 am. This will be going on for a few more weeks.
It is part of his contract that we are to move to Tenn, the state that the home office is in, when we are more able to. (He had asked them if he could wait cuz at the time I was pregnant, but since the miscarriage happened we could really move at any time.) This week he is there setting up his office and getting an idea as to just how much time he will need to be there. The home office is over 9 hours away. He is pretty high up now, so I figure he will need to spend some time there, in addition to the traveling he does to visit the stores too. I know he will have to travel from anywhere we live to visit the stores. I just feel as if the weeks he spends at the home office are weeks he could be coming home at night, so we should move. It feels right now that it will be 100% travel, but he says it will lighten up. But again anytime he is in Tenn I know that I could be there with him and he would be coming home for dinner instead of just calling me from his hotel. He says that he wants to wait to see just how much time he would need to be there and if the job is what he expected. Since we are rooted here in NC (somewhat, we have only been here 11 months) he wants to stay here till he is sure. He says this could take a while to figure out...maybe even 6 months. I understand it, but I can't help but feel I am once again in limbo (see my last post about the baby situation) <p>I also feel that this time is crucial to our healing and it is hard to work on things either over the phone or on weekends. And oftentimes when we try to work on things on the weekends we wind up fighting so the time is short and full of tension. And when he is gone my mind is constantly on the affair or I see the triggers...and I want him to be here to comfort me. I also miss sleeping beside him.
I think I also am a little jealous b/c I know he is out there experiencing so much and I am at home working thru all this and keeping up the fort.
But the big part is I am so lonely at night. After the kids go to bed, and the house is dark and quiet, it all just surrounds me and my mind won't shut down. I keep myself plenty busy during the days, but I am beginning to dread the nights. I come to the computer to IM with people and read the boards. I guess in a way it is good b/c there is no way I can come on the boards during the days and if he is home I try to spend the time with him. But this week after week, it is just taking its toll on me... <p>Sorry about the vent, just had to get it all out tonight! <p>