My husband left me & our daughter in January 2001. We have never been legally seperated and he has moved home many times since. He always denied OW till facts wouldn't let him. Told me several times it was over etc. In Feb/02 he started his campaign to try & reconcile for good. He moved home April/02. I found out just after that OW had still been in the picture tillthen (so he says). June 28th I found out that they were still together, and I had thought our reconciliation had been going well. When everything blew up that weekend he told me he was taking her to get an abortoin on Saturday & that he had to let her believe certain things because he was trying to keep it from me to save our family. He called her July 1 & said "stay out of our livesetc." BUt OW & her father left several messages at our home & on both my & H's cell phone. SHe claims that they bought a house together in March that was being built & ready in the Fall, that they had just rented an apartment that they were going to live in till then & that she was pregnant. Conceived May 26th - he says the baby they aborted was conceived in late March & she poked holes in the condom to trap him.
He has refused to take the calls (to my knowledge) and says it is all lies so they will go away eventually. But I saw his mutual funds get cashed out in March - which he could have used towards the house & July 1st a mystery cheque was cashed for $1500 (rent?). So I need to know if she is pregnant or not - but he wont even look at the possibility & gets angry with me when I try to talk. I just want honesty so we can try to rebuild - but if she is pregnant we will need to make more decissions. If she is pregnant I want him to deal with that & make a decission he can live with before it is to late. If she is pregnant - I don't see how our marriage has a chance. I have been loving & supportive & forgiving in the hopes of working this out. But I can't live with that.
Please help! OW has stopped calling the house & I am afraid of what I will stir up if I call her. But I am afraid to let this go to much longer.

mitchellj

Sorry this brought you here, but welcome.
Have you and your husband considered counceling, Even if this stuff isnt true about a house and apt. Seems some serious issues between you and he is obviously hiding something and trying to protect him self. I would guess he had some explanation as to where all this money went?

Usually the truth is somewhere in the middle. SO I would be concerned some of this is true, and I feel avoiding it will come back and slap you both in the face and I dont think husband is thinking straight but trying to hide for some reason.

Although I do find it hard to believe they would be building a house together and you not know anything.

READ all the basic concepts and look for one of those post for newbies, it has some great advice and things to read so you can make better decisions.

I would guess you have confronted your husband with all this info, does any one have proof to show you , paperwork anything!? I would ask them if they call again or call and ask.

Your husband knows if she is pregnant or not and he knows if he took her to have an abortion.
So he holds the key.

I think you might do well to talk husband into counceling or maybe he would feel better to talk to a third party so he can learn to be honest with you.
I am sure many will come help you, But do read everything you can, it is amazing what you will learn.
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