Zebrababy: Why does your husband not work? A lot of people would be more than happy to stay with someone that supports them! Also, why are you so concerned about child support? Its HIS responsibility to pay, not yours! You would not have had a child support order! Too many of these guys are good for a while then they turn around and do the same thing with someone else! So you'll excue me if I'm a little skeptical of the hearts-and-flowers routine! It could be for real in your situation, only time will tell! But, I'll tell you this, these guys tell their wives one thing and the OW something totally different and both women think they're the ones with the upper hand!

Uh...not exactly a newz flash that there are snakes out there. We all know it well. And we have seen marriages implode with yet another affair and even another OC. But, those cases are few. Thankfully.

The majority of the situations here are successful recoveries, especially Zebra's.

When a couple has run the gauntlet and found a higher plane of understanding, openness, compassion and commitment, the couple's liklihood of continued success is highly probable...especially if they practice the MB principles.

Z's husband had choices. And if you are a woman with a husband and a stay at home Mom, you are well familiar with the enormous workload associated with that thankless occupation. Some men are just good at this kind of thing...rare, but then gems are rare.

As for the telling Wife one thing and OW another...that was then and this is now...as always the OW is relegated to obscurity and unimportance eventually, ending up to be a non-issue.

I am disappointed you would come here and drop doo-doo on rejoicing. There is always one sour rotten apple out there just waiting gleefully for misery and failure. It says a lot about the poster.

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ July 23, 2002, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

Um, luscious ... I'm not sure exactly where you got the idea that my H doesn't work. In fact he has TWO jobs. Perhaps you [censored]-U-M-Ed that he was a stay at home dad because of the amount of "mothering" he did in our household.

The fact is, he has a day job ... more of the nine to five type (unlike my salary work until the work is done job) and then he has a part-time job throwing newspapers from 2am-6am every morning. My H has had TWO jobs since before we got married. He is an awesome provider and a hard worker. You are way off base.

Now as far as your other comments, let me address them individually:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Also, why are you so concerned about child support? Its HIS responsibility to pay, not yours!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was worried about child support because that money is our money and belongs in our household. But it was his responsibility and we paid it without a courtorder ... voluntarily. But now we don't because DNA was negative. Bottom line, no OC and no more OW in our lives.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You would not have had a child support order!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not to sure what you were trying to say here, but I can guess you were implying that if he hadn't had an affair we wouldn't have to worry about support. By response ... duh. would you like to point something else obvious out?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Too many of these guys are good for a while then they turn around and do the same thing with someone else! So you'll excue me if I'm a little skeptical of the hearts-and-flowers routine! It could be for real in your situation, only time will tell! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are damn right ... time will tell. But I'll tell you one thing. I'm not going to spend my life looking around corners waiting for the sky to fall. No, I'm going to enjoy my marriage the way it is today. I'm going to marvel how it continues to blossom with every day that passes. I'm going to continue to be hopeful that the holy spirit stays solid withing both of our hearts. And finally I'm going to continue to marvel at people like you who expect the worst ... because you know what ... you get what you expect.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But, I'll tell you this, these guys tell their wives one thing and the OW something totally different and both women think they're the ones with the upper hand! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Great thing about this ... it doesn't apply to me. OW is not in his or our lives to tell jack [censored]. When you see a man fall to his knees in thanksgiving that he has his life back ... you know in your heart the is grateful. Now, if any man in our situation chooses to make the same mistake twice .. he can't say he didn't know the worst that could happen.

I'm not quite sure which hole of the internet you crawled out of, but I would appreciate if you would read a little closer before you start assuming my husband is living off of me and sitting on his [censored] not working.

I'm very sorry that you have such negative and low expectations for my marriage. I'm so glad you aren't related to us. What a bummer to have you at the family reunion.

Z.

<small>[ July 23, 2002, 07:45 PM: Message edited by: zebrababy ]</small>

Well, I just took a second to look up the profile on the poster Luscious. Seems she/he/it just registered on MB today.

Perhaps this is my OW????

Or perhaps just another inteloper trying to start trouble. So sad.

Z.

Um Zebrababy, allow me....

Lucious (in your own mind),
Men should have the same legal choices that ow have whether or not to be a parent. Not be forced into cs by our government to pay for a c he did not choose to have. Job or not. married or not.

The law doesn't force a woman to keep a c.

Old law's calling for men to pay because of biology because women "can't do it alone" is a farce. Oh well we are behind the times.
Perhaps when cd gets her law degree and runs for political office things will begin to become even.

Sex doesn't equal parenthood, ever!

It is the way babies are conceived we all know.

It still is a sure fire way to turn a man against a woman when he is left w/no after-the-fact choices in this biased society.

There is no responsibility except for ow who HAVE A CHOICE!!!!
As far as telling ow something totally different,,,women are from venus and men are from mars.....Thank goodness.
They usually end up with the woman who has the most substance if they are lucky and BS accepts remorse. Otherwise ow is rarely included in marriage or anything after pulling a stunt like pregnancy......hmmmmmm Lucious...does YOUR husband work?

As far as the upper hand goes. Wives always have it. Name, clout, accepted in social situations, ow never have anything but a few rolls in the backseat of a car or motel room, wives have had a lifetime of all our husbands activities...except of course, lucious women like you.

Once they leave why do you think they cling on for dear life? To wives?

Because once is enough with women like you, thanks!

Keep your opinions to yourself or go where someone gives a [censored] about your opinions.
You know about opinions don't you? They are like rectums, everyone has one and most smell.

Hmmm... let's collect the evidence.

Poster registers on MB today. Posts only one message trying to rain on one MBer's happy dancing. Doesn't have complete facts about Z's husband but attacks anyway.

I doubt it's your exOW Z -- sounds more like someone who reads MB and took a dislike to your happy dance. Might even be a regular who adopted a new name just for the occasion.

But I loved Catnip's words of wisdom -- that was then and this is now. We already know the worst, we know what our H's were before and we ARE full of wonder at the way they keep moving forward and becoming better men and better husbands.

Time doesn't need to tell the tale. True love has already spoken. You are one blessed lady, Z.

love,
heavenly

Gemini,
I have to disagree with you on this
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Men should have the same legal choices that ow have whether or not to be a parent. Not be forced into cs by our government to pay for a c he did not choose to have. Job or not. married or not.

The law doesn't force a woman to keep a c.

Old law's calling for men to pay because of biology because women "can't do it alone" is a farce. Oh well we are behind the times.
Perhaps when cd gets her law degree and runs for political office things will begin to become even.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When a man and woman make the decision to have sex, even protectd sex, the risk is a child may be the result. It is an assumed risk. And I feel that both share a responsibility in financially supporting that child unless that child is given up for adoption.

Children are expensive, as far as women have come in this world, it is still basically a man's world. I work for one of those companies. I've stayed because the benefits are good. If my M fails, I cannot support my children on my paycheck. When my H, left the last time, I was always one step away from welfare. Everytime I called in because of a sick child, I received a lecture from my suprervisor(and yes, I was fully aware of the family leave act) I also knew that if they chose to fire me, it would be years before I would see some sort of justice, so in the mean time, I am now on welfare and society is supporting me.

Men in general still make more than women. If you are the biological non custodial parent you have a responsibility to help support that child. Yes, I realize that it is a slap in the face to the BW, and I truly hope that my H is not keeping something like that from me. But, I accept the fact that the child has to be supported and it took two to create it, and in the situation of MM with OW, why should she have the full burden and MM gets away scott free. He has to have some repercussions for his behavior and if hitting him in the pocketbook is where it must be, that that is the way it is.

When my H left the first time and left me with a 6 mo old and a 20 month old, I was very prepared to file for CS, and I would have initiated an increase every 2 years (what my state allows). My feeeling on that was, if he would have stayed, and not left for OW, my children would be benefiting from his income, why should they go without because he cannot behave himself. The children should not have to suffer because adults don't know how to play nicey.

If an OC develops or has developed from his A, I hope I will be this mature about the process.

Personally, I think those who try to get out of CS are very selfish individuals who do not want to take responsibility for their actions. If you are going to play you have to pay. And yes, unfortunately you might be taking innocents with you such as BS and children created from M. But then again, the WS has to live with that guilt.

Yes, I am very opinionated on the subject of CS. Try telling me again how you dont' have to help support your children, when the mother is looking at an over drawn check book, paydays is a week away, there is no money for diapers, (4 diapers for 2 children to last a week). Enough dishsoap to wash babybottles only, enough shampoo for one hair washing, and the mom works a full time job, and dad walks out to be with new girlfriend, because she is "fun" and mom is not. Nothing is sent to help support these children. Should mom apply for welfare and now society should support OW and child????????????. I think most of society will have a major disagreement with you on this one.

One more thing, if I find out that there is an OC from an A, and we make our M work, he will have to get a second job to pay CS, he will not take from his current children to support OC.

<small>[ July 23, 2002, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sue with hope:
[QB]If my M fails, I cannot support my children on my paycheck. When my H, left the last time, I was always one step away from welfare. QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are absolutely right...I agree completely that these injustices and imbalances should be reworked and that the WIFE and her children should be financially supported by the former HUSBAND. The problem here on this site, as far as I can tell, is that many BS's here take exception to the fact that some stranger/interloper or one night stand or short term affair or whatever the OW is, can garner the SAME or MORE benefits as a WIFE of a bazillion years who has worked side by side with her husband and has built a history with this man and who has raised children together.

Right now the courts system is a reward system, encouraging women to have illegitimate children and to aggressively pursue outrageous amounts of CS, damaging families and picking our pockets and causing OUR children to go without while the court extorts a "fee" off the CS payments for the state. (insentive program)

They do NOT encourage adoption, they do NOT penalize the OW, they do NOT hold the OW responsible for anything.

I remember sitting in court while my hsuband spoke to the hearing officer in front of OW while she sat there smugly smirking as the HO treated my husband as if there was something disgusting stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He was rude and demeaning to my husband and was so conciliatory to the OW. I probably looked really stupid sitting there with my mouth open in disbelief, but it was if I were Alice and nothing made sense. There is no logic, no balance, no fairness, no acknowledgement of the family of origin.

My thoughts on this is that each person should be dealt with on a case by case basis. If the A was just a one night stand or it was obvious OW was looking for a meal ticket and deliberately got herself knocked up, then her CS should reflect accordingly... a minimum, if you will. It would be made known that if the OW got to make all the choices that would impact an entire family and that her clock was ticking and she was just looking for a sperm donor, then she would have the lion's share of the obligation.

A baby or a small child costs so little to raise. I raised three on just a few hundred a month, yet my OW gets $1300 per month which is significantly more than the mandated 20% by law, for us it is around 60% BEFORE taxes.

Because the CS laws are so arbitrary and no other branch of the court system want anything to do with family court or be bothered by it, they are not closely monitored and the hearing officers (who are really just cheesy attorneys who aren't smart enough to be in practice) can just pull numbers out of the air, ignore tax returns and mandate ridiculous and punitive amounts that deeply damage the man and his family. And they don't care. They just do not care.

Since none of them care, and since it doesn't cost so much to raise a kid and since OW would have to pay rent for herself anyway, why punish the man's family and take from his children to pay for a OC that he had no say in, no choice at all as to whether or not keep child or give it up for adoption? (Which is often the best solution for everyone involved unless the OW is capable, emotionally and financially, to take care of it herself)

I know there are a lot of Former OW's here who have opted to keep their child and have worked out wonderful anbd successful arrangements with their FOM and his BW and I have no argument with survivors of this mess to have the respect for others invovled and who are looking out for the best interest of the child, but in situations where the OW has been duplicitous and difficult, the OC pays as much as the family of origin and it isn't fair or balanced.

I am tired of the argument about the OC 'deserves' this and that. I know it does but I believe it is up to the one who got to make all the choices to figure out solutions and ways to provide for OC...not destroy an entire family in the process. Why should several be sacrificed for one? I am not saying OC and OW shouldn't get anything, they should... but,...

YOU should be the one getting CS and financial help before any OW.

Catnip =^^=

God, you guys aren't going off on a tangent again are you? I totally agree that the original post was complete bashing of an innocent person who has found happiness again and the poster is obviously jealous of that fact. Why on earth Gem felt the need to turn this into the never ending and never agreed upon debate of CS is light years beyond me. She sounds as bad as the original poster.
If anyone has read my recent post then you know I am now in the situation where I am going to REALLY NEED my CS. xOM has agreed, with no court order, to give me an extra $120/mo so that I will be able to make ends meet. He is not doing this for me, he is doing it for our D. He doesn't want to see her have to go without. It's not ALWAYS about the OW.
I think you guys should just end this thread right here before it gets any uglier than it already is. JMHO

wib,
Reread what the original poster wrote, won't you?

CS was indeed brought up the way it usually is by the poster, and most ow not married to MM, but expecting cash for a child that was never agreed upon.
Just like when a wife goes against her H's wishes to conceive a child, resentment grows because women have all the choices after the fact.

In an A where pregnancy occurs, ow are hell bent on getting money for oc. Usually after telling MM not to worry she'll do it alone.

What if your H blackmailed you into parenthood?

It should be a mutual decision to bring a child into the world, that both parties are HAPPY about, excited about. Not to fear the very birth and pending penalties. A life time of penalties, where most times oc never knows who dad is.

That is child abuse...to insure oc will not have a dad around. If oc does, that is not a common situation. It certainly isn't how I'd raise my c.

Also there should be rights to cs in a divorce situation where the marriage doesn't work because those c's were agreed upon.....usually.

Believe me if the laws change there will be less babies being conceieved and born in barbaric, third world country style situations (where people don't know any better), for the woman will no longer be rewarded for an oc's life through our ancient, never look at the fact, cs laws.

All wives.....this is not meaning you.

Debi

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 08:03 AM: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</small>

Thank you for responding: Gemini- this is respectfully said but you don't know what you're talking about! I have a job that makes me privy to some of the goings-on of the system and you have to realize that the system is reactive, not proactive. They only intervene in a situation that TWO people have created. They don't just pull numbers out the air,they can't do that, THAT'S ILLEGAL and you would have a good fight on your hands if they did! They go by a set of guidelines set by your state, that determines how much child support should be based on both parents information. Any citizen of any state can review those guidelines. They don't care about how the child got here, , that's not their job! The point is, its here and as long as the mother has custody, she will receive the money! Your anger will end up hurting no one but yourself one day. To Z: I can promise you I am not who you [censored]-u-med I was! I'm laughing now! I am not your OW or any of those other guesses someone else said! I wasn't attacking you, I was merely asking a question because from your commentary, you proudly said I am the breadwinner! And what I meant was, you didn't create the possible child support situation so you shouldnt' be in it! Its your husband's problem, he created it! And if you want to be in it, then you would have to accept that fact and deal with it! Last poster: I'm not jealous pf anybody, just not easily trusting because these men really do say 1 thing to 1 woman and another to the other and if you don't believe me, go to their message board. They have both women fooled, hating each other, and they're getting away with it!

I am happy for zebrababy..
because she can move on with her life and put this issue behind her.. I am sure that is a blessing for her and her marriage..

I wont debate the cs issue or giving birth and whos responsibility it is.. no point.. But I think when you respond to a post you know is trying to upset you look at it as such an move on... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

one more thing.

I dont think a stay at home dad would be so bad, if I worked away from home... just think someone else can cook, clean and do all the stuff I do now in between my computer work... doesnt sound so bad to me.. who wouldnt like it... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

Gem, The original poster did bring up child support BUT was not questioning weather or not it should be paid, only that it was the responsibilty of the biological father to pay it and not his BS. You are the one who brought up the debate of how unfair it is to make the biolgical father pay support. That is the dead horse I am refering to.

Also if you have ever read my earlier posts you would know that I firmly believe that I was INTENTIONALLY impregnated by xOM. You don't hear me bellyaching about it do you? That's because I am mature enough to know that I am just as responsible for having sex with him in the first place.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> All wives....this is not meaning you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Could you explain this to me???

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 08:49 AM: Message edited by: want it back ]</small>

Gemini,

Just like when a wife goes against her H's wishes to conceive a child, resentment grows because women have all the choices after the fact.

Many children are born in this world that were not planned Gemini. If we as a society allow men and women to decide which ones they will financially support and which they won't, we might as well all move to a 3rd world country now. Get packing, because our society would fall apart.

"In an A where pregnancy occurs, ow are hell bent on getting money for oc. Usually after telling MM not to worry she'll do it alone."

Well, she may have said that she'd do it on her own when asked how she planned to raise the child, meaning, the actual rearing of the child. Perhaps the man just heard what he wanted to hear and thought he'd be exempt for actually having to help financially support this child. Or maybe she thought she could financially do it alone and found out later that she couldn't. Isn't she allowed to make adjustments in the best interest of the child in question? Regardless, it takes 2 to make a child and it should require 2 to support that child if that is how it must be. Sadly, the consequences fall onto the BS and OC as well and that is not fair by any means. But it is a fact of life if you stay with the WS. If CS isn't outrageous, why not accept it along with the WS having the affair to being with? Not all OW are money hungry, some need the support of the biological father to provide for the child out of necessity. That is no reason to say that she should give the child up because she can't afford to raise the child on her own. Hell, she didn't create the child on her own.

"What if your H blackmailed you into parenthood?"

Blackmail in this context would be equivalent of binding the person and forcing sexual intercourse, because there is a preconceived risk of conception before hand. All men know which birth control method is 100% fool proof. Blackmail, please.

It should be a mutual decision to bring a child into the world, that both parties are HAPPY about, excited about. Not to fear the very birth and pending penalties. A life time of penalties, where most times oc never knows who dad is.

You would be surprised at how many OM talked about conception of child long before it ever happened. It may have been a day dream, I don't know. I go back to my belief that the mutual decision to have physcial A is where I draw the line. If you don't want to risk a child being born, abstain, its really that simple.

"Believe me if the laws change there will be less babies being conceieved and born in barbaric, third world country style situations (where people don't know any better), for the woman will no longer be rewarded for an oc's life through our ancient, never look at the fact, cs laws."

You have got to be kidding. Do you really believe that the lack of CS laws for children born out of wedlock would actually serve as a deterrent to physical affairs?!!! Have you ever read up on the death penalty and the fact that it does not serve as a violent crime deterrent? I would ask that you consider where you pulling your information out of.

Reward for having a child? Please, I don't see any OW with a child by a MM is being rewarded if she collects CS. Your argument turned around is like saying that if a woman has a child by a MM and no laws are in place to mandate CS, then tax dollars given to the woman to help support her child would be a reward to the MM for having an affair and not having to dish out a dime to help support the child he created. A pat on the back so to speak to do it again, over and over. Have you ever thought that perhaps the CS could serve as a deterrent for the MM not to have another affair? I don't know if it is or not, I'm trying to point out that all this talk about CS and how MM shouldn't be held legally liable is one sided.
yes, it is not fair the MM family. I think we all agree on that. But the one thing that us WS don't really comprehend right away, is that the affair may appear to be a relationship where only 2 people are in it, but the fact is that the WS's family is pulled in too. Its not fair and its sad but the laws of today are in place to ensure our society remains civilized.

I don't know how to analyze all this CS stuff and be fair to both sides. Some A's last for years and years and a child is conceived. Some are one,two,three or whatever, night stands. Who knows how you want to disect it. The end result is what it is. Children are expensive, if OW works, daycare cost $175-200 per week. That doesn't include diapers, food, clothes, shelter, etc. OW may not realize that if she is a first time mother. MM may not realize how simple it is to conceive a child, I have no idea what everyone else is thinking. I know what I was thinking and what my ex-om was thinking. I know we both had our heads in the sand and daydreamed that we'd be a perfect little family if it ever happened. It may not be fair that the woman gets to make all the decisions after conception, but when in history has society been fair to women other than relative to child bearing? This is a man's world.

We all make mistakes, none of us are perfect. But to put all the blame on one person in the A and make excuses for the other is looking at the situation with tunnel vision.

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 09:47 AM: Message edited by: CMiranda ]</small>

Well, I come from the old school. I beleive a man should work; that's the way I was raised. A man works and he takes care of his children. It may ne all right for some but I can't see going to work and he's at home cooking, cleaning, etc. That was cause for a man to be scorned in my neighborhood. Also, I wasn't trying to upset anybody, veiled reference received. It just amazes me that both women, one on one side and the other on the other side both seem to think that they're the cat's meow! Wonder why? Somebody is being deceived somewhere!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by luscious:
<strong>Well, I come from the old school. I beleive a man should work; that's the way I was raised. A man works and he takes care of his children. It may ne all right for some but I can't see going to work and he's at home cooking, cleaning, etc. That was cause for a man to be scorned in my neighborhood. Also, I wasn't trying to upset anybody, veiled reference received. It just amazes me that both women, one on one side and the other on the other side both seem to think that they're the cat's meow! Wonder why? Somebody is being deceived somewhere!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Luscious,

I earn 2x what my H makes, and I am the first to tell you all that when he was home for a year, it was GREAT climbing the laddar of success and not having to worry about domestic chores. Going home to a clean house, all chores & shopping done, bills taken care of, and walk in to smell a nice home cooked meal brewing was heaven. A taste of what men have enjoyed for ages while building their careers.
No scandal in my neighborhood.. As long as our lawns are cut and houses look pretty, nobody cares who brings home the bacon.
If you are not a BS,OW or WS, then you have no idea why both women or men for that matter, want to be the cat's meow in their relationship(s),nor does anyone here expect that you would.

CM

C: I did state that was the norm of years ago. I happen to still suscribe to it. I'm not going to go to work every day and have a healthy, well-bodied man sitting around in the house, I don't care how good he can cook! If anybody is going to be at home, its me! That's the way I was raised! Men worked! A man would be ashamed to say he was at home while his wife worked!! And some of these men ARE just sitting around, letting their woman take care of them! That's how they get into trouble; too much time on their hands! He's probably talking to another woman while she's at work!

Who knows, quite frankly, in my experience, you'd be wiser to be more worried about the spouse that is at work, meeting other people in the workplace. Men and women at home raising kids and taking care of the domestic responsibilites have alot less time to be engaged in an affair during their day. Anyone with little kids can attest to that.
Back when I was growing up, yes a man would be ashamed to say his wife was out working while he was home. But again, he'd be as embarrased to have to do laundry and cook dinner no matter what. Times have changed and men and women's roles are evolving beyond the Brady Bunch syndrome.
I begged my H to quit his job and stay home but he says he likes his job and wants to work. However, if one of us had to stay home, in my logical mind, it would be the one who earned less money. Not just a few pennies less but nearly 50k less and thats enough to convince me.

I really don't know why I'm doing this, but I have a question for luscious.

I was wondering what your story is and what brought you to this board? Are you married, and dealing with an A? If so, was there a child as a result of that A? Are you working to make your M stronger?

I truly don't understand why you are having a "pissing party" over Z's GREAT news! Twice you have told her that the CS was not her responsibility, to which she agreed, but every penny that was paid to the xOW for the child that has now been proven to NOT be her H's was money taken from the HOUSEHOLD! Therefore, not only was she affected by the money dissapearing from their home, but their own children, who were there first were loosing that money as well!

Before you were able to register, you had to agree to the rules of this site. So far, I have seen nothing to actually "break" those rules, but you have also not contributed positively to this board either. By that, I mean we have no idea if you are here for help or to be helped. Take some time to read a person's history before you start to offer your advice!

These boards are for those using the Marriage Builder's (MB) principles to either strengthen or rebuild their M's! Attacking someone for being the bread winner, whether her H actually works outside the home or not, is not helping anyone. And neither is telling a W that it's "not her problem" when or how the CS gets paid, when being married should mean that you share everything with eachother! That includes the good AND the bad!

So, I recommend that if you are in a situation such as one of these, share your story, and be welcome, but if you are here to "stir the pot" be fair warned, the moderators to keep track of the boards, and will/do act quickly.

Tigger