What is it about certain women that make them think they can flirt with your H in front of you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Why do they think that flirting with your H will make theirs pay more attention to them? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

We have a couple that we have known a few years. They have not been married long. They have a 4 yr old boy and a baby girl due within a month.
She called up last night and invited herself over to the house. She originally wanted to come alone... then changed her mind to include her H and their son. No problem… they are an okay couple…

She called this afternoon to let us know they were coming. She threatened to “burst in on Mr Lee even if she saw him stark a$$ naked.” What was that about? Why did she bring that up? What was the point? Made no sense at all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
They get here… she is automatically all up in Mr Lee’s face, making snide remarks about him not being ready. I was the one that had to finish getting ready… why not make those remarks to me???

We go swimming at the pool… I was sitting on the edge of the pool and H was throwing the water-bomb type balls… he was throwing them at me, because I was getting into the pool and getting ready to play… She was sitting behind me… and started telling me that he was throwing them at her… um.. no.. WE were getting ready to play.
Good grief… what is her problem? She has a H and son… She doesn’t need to go to the extent that she did… it made me sick, and yes.. a little angry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

She stopped her little shenanigans when H took me in his arms and spun me around in the water and kissed me… one of those LONG beautiful kisses. (mmmm… I rarely get these.. hehehe <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) She then began paying more attention to her son and her H.

Hurrah for H! Thank you, honey, for KNOWING what she was up to and putting the kybosh on it.

Sorry all… just had to vent…
You know I hate Sundays and it was NOT a good day for these kinds of games.

Welllllllllll, I'll give you a hug....(((((stacia)))))) but you get another kiss from your H.

I'm happy to read that your H was picking up on that and set things "straight" so to speak...hee hee...

I don't really understand the nerve of some people....

My guess is if she was pg, she was probably feeling unattractive and was wondering if she "still had it"???

Either way....no excuse for what she did.

Hats off to you and Mr. Lee....

Hugs,
Twiisty

We know a couple like that (have a habit of inviting themselves over and she constantly flirts with my H) and Stacia, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, "they think that flirting with your H will make theirs pay more attention to them..."

I think that must be the case only it probably has the opposite effect... I'm SO GLAD your H knew exactly what to do in front of this person. HE DID GOOD!!! A+ 100% for meeting your need for affection and admiration and the timing couldn't have been better! WooHoo! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Loved IT!

You can just tell when someone is being openly flirtateous with your spouse... But you know, I don't know why WE get upset because they just make themselves look like an idiot... And um, I bet she felt like one too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ August 05, 2002, 07:19 AM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

Hey Friend--I think that Mr Lee did good. That women was out of line. I don't know where some people get thier nerve. Yeah for you and Mr. Lee

Hats off to Mr. Lee in knowing how to burst this "friend's" bubble of flirtation! I'm not sure that if this happens all the time if you should continue to be involved with this couple! It just screams of trouble to me, especially if she is always acting this way, and making those types of remarks about Mr. Lee! You have every right to jealously guard your H and your M from women like this! And as far as this being off topic, I don't think that it is at all! You keep doing the great job that you have been, and you will keep suceeding!

Love,

Tigger

At the time that I posted my “vent” the woman was asleep on my couch. Mr Lee had to go to work at 6 and her H and son went on an errand. She wanted “time away from” her son and H.
He had suggested before he left that they just go home. She refused. The little boy wanted to stay; she said NO and sent him with his daddy.

They finally came and got her after 2 hrs of her snoring away on the couch. (her H was apologizing for keeping me up, he understood I had to go to bed so I could get up early in the morning)
Then as they are leaving, she asks me what my hours are at work. She then proceeds to tell me that she is planning on coming to my house to go swimming a couple of days this week!!!!!

OMG!!!

Thank goodness we are going away this weekend. We are going to visit my family and see our niece and nephew before they start back to school. A 3 day vacation away from here!

I don’t spend much time with this couple anyway. I actually have avoided her as much as possible. The last time she called me, we were out of town and she called H’s cell phone. I told her that we were very busy and I would have to call her back… she got mad and this weekend was the first time I heard from her since APRIL!!

I don’t mind friends calling to make sure I am home and if it’s ok to drop in for a visit. But, when they over-stay their welcome is when I get weary of them and they go from “friend” status to “acquaintance” which is where she sits right now.
She has done this “call, show and stay” thing before. She called me at 6pm, showed up at 7, then stayed until 3:30am!!!! I mentioned several times I was tired. I was taking Progesterone at the time and it was making me loopy… She commented about my eyes crossing… yet, STAYED until her H called and told her to come home…
Thank goodness that this happened on a night that H was not home.

Thanks for the support… I really am thankful for this board!!!

btw...
You might want to mention the MB site in a casual kind of way...sounds like she has some needs that aren't being met. If that's the case then he may have some unexpressed needs as well.

If she's a friend, look beyond her obvious fault (even if you have to call her on it) and suggest some help!! I know I have a sensitivity now like never before when it comes to problems in other peoples marriages.

btw....tell Mr. Lee we all said.."You go Boy!!"

That gal certainly has a lot of nerve! Not to mention, no manners!

The correct response to her insisting on staying at your house would have been: "I'm sorry, but you can't stay here. I'm tired, and it's time for me to have my time to myself." All the while, I would have her by the arm and gently leading her to the door.

As for her telling you that she is going to come to your house to use the pool when you're not there, that would be a big NO-NO for me! I would simply tell her, "I'm sorry, but H and I do not allow anyone else, outside our families, to be at our home when we're not here. I do not entertain male friends when H is not here, and he does not entertain female friends when I'm not here. You and your family will be welcome to come use the pool when we invite you."

If she gets mad, who cares?

OMG,

I read this Stacia, and my jaw dropped... but then I started to think... there are just so many ruthless women out there ... why should I be surprised.

Look at what my "best friend" did to me. She didn't just flirt, she tried to woo him away from his marriage. Bottom line is, there are so many selfish people out there .. nothing surprises me anymore.

May I jump on your thread and tell a story about my H's co-worker?

Set up: co-worker female 38'ish non-married woman tells my husband that her friend was at the job the other day and saw him and the friend would like her to give him her number. She thought he was good looking. H tells her he's not interested and is married.

Does she quit? A couple of days later she comes back to him to ask him if he's sure he doesn't want the number. H says, "no, I'm very happy with my marriage and am just not interested."

She says, "let me write the number down just in case things change."

He says, "Are you married?"

She says, "No I have a boyfriend I've been dating for seven years."

He says, "Have you cheated on him?"

She says, "Yes, when we first met, but not in over five years."

He says, "Has he cheated on you? I just want to know because I'm curious why you think it's O.K. for me to even meet your friend like this when I already have a wife."

She says, "Well I have accepted the fact that all men cheat. My boyfriend has cheated on me and probably will again. What makes you any different?"

He says, "Well just know this, I am different. The biggest difference is, I love my wife! Let's leave it at that and we don't need to ever discuss this again."

Ok, so I'm doing everything in my power to not go down there and take that woman by the sholders and shake her while yelling DON'T YOU SEE YOU ARE APART OF THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SOLUTION

It's women like this who facilitate cheating and accept it that gives men the opportunity to cheat. Yes I know men have the choice to say "NO" but guess what ... they wouldn't have a choice if the women weren't willing. There's just too many women who ALLOW themselves to be the OW and far too many of their "girlfriends" who encourage it.

I know if one of my girls came to me and said they were thinking of or doing it, I'd be giving them the friendship ultimatum. I'm sorry but that's not the kind of woman I want around me and I can't sit by knowing another woman's heart will be breaking when she finds out.

note: no offense to any woman here who has been an OW in the past and has seen the err of her ways and taken the appropriate action to correct the situation.

Just my $0.02,
Z.

Hmmmm.... Stacia, this person sounds like she is very extremely self-centered and doesn't realize she is overstaying her welcome.

Next time she announces to you when she is coming over, perhaps it would be a good idea to just tell her to be sure and call first because you might have plans that day.

IF she shows up on a day when you are not prepared for company (forget about entertaining!), just crack the door and say "I'M SORRY! You seemed to have caught me at a bad time and I'm right in the middle of something. Let me call you next week and we can make some plans, okay! I'm really sorry for the inconvenience but I have to go now!"

It's none of her business what your schedule or your plans are--even if you just want to lay around like a lump or swim in your pool ALONE! I would not allow this person to intrude on my personal space and time this way not unless you truly want to be bothered. She may not realize how intrusive her behavior is and that is why it would be good for you to turn her away a time or two until she realizes she can't just force herself on you like this. It's just plain rude... Don't stand for it.

I remember one time a friend came over after I told her I would be sleeping and not "up" for company. I work nights, remember? So anyway, she comes over regardless and starts pounding my door, knocking on my window and even going around to the back door and side windows, just determined to make me have company when I didn't want to. I just let her stand out there pounding and calling my name?!?! Some people just don't get it????? Some people just insist on having their own way. But just because they knock on my door or ring my phone doesn't mean that I HAVE to talk to them--especially if I don't want to!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Funny, huh?

Why are any of you surprised? Our standards have bottomed out where there is no such thing as respect for marriage (Temptation Island, Blind Date, Rendevous, Howard Stern, Jerry Springer, every talk show, MTV and now, for God's sake, Anna Nicole. I mean, what do you or I expect?

We are doing nothing but appealing to the lowest common denominator of society. If you think it is bad now, just wait. I feel so sorry for our kids and what they may be facing. It is bad enough they are force fed smut even in some commercials and cartoons, let alone regualr TV.

These shows promote and glorify and make infidelity OK...acceptable, the "norm" and try to make us all believe this is the way Americans are...unfortunately, people without a clear sense of who they are buy into it and then we end up here. I call them "sheep" willing to accept everything they see and hear.

The media is a powerful tool designed to get ratings with titalation and shock value...and not any of the stations care one lick of how it demoralizes our society.

I often wonder how these young college women on "Girls Gone Wild" will think of themselves thirty years from now when they are grandmothers and wonder if they will even have the decency to feel a little ashamed for being such clowns, for not having any self esteem, modesty or dignity. Their lives must be so empty.

We can all expect these come-ons to happen to our husbands occasionally. Bipolar got a note on his truck a few weeks ago from a woman in our apartment building saying, "I don't know your name, but I have a favor to ask of you. Are you married?"

At least she asked him if he was married...technically we are not, but he said "Yes, I am".

I'm no prude and if you knew me when I was young, I was pretty wild but I never did anything like they do today. Nobody did.

Sometimes I just want to take a long hot shower.

Catnip =^^=

PS Zee and Stacia...your husbands are really class acts...what wonderful demonstrations of love for you.

How does your friend's husband treat her?