Hi all!

I was cruising some old stomping grounds today and came across this board.

I was only here for a couple months, but you all gave me the support I needed to make decisions at the time, and THANK YOU for that!

I just wanted to share my outcome with ya'll--my story was the same as yours, four years of marriage, affair, OC. In August I had enough--we tried for a year, I worked the Harley principles as hard as I could, but I had a really hard time forgiving his trespasses. Not so much the affairs, but the abuse I suffered throughout the marriage. SO, we separated, and were divorced on 12/9. He is not with the OW, but apparently dating someone else. My son got the raw end of CS, since the OC case was filed first my kid gets less money, only a little bitter about that lol.

All in all, this is the best thing that could have happened. I guess I wanted to say, despite my admiration and respect for those of you who did make it work--there is no shame in NOT working it out, either. Sometimes, there is nothing left to save, and the only thing that kept me married was the shame of divorce. I am a thousand times happier now, walk with a spring in my step and I can't wait to begin each day. That is what life should be, and yes some of you have made it that in your marriages, and I am happy for you. I only wish all of us could be as happy in our lives as I finally am!

Anyway, that's all, thanks again and happy holidays to everyone!

EJ

Good for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good for you!!!! I hope I'll be there soon too!!! I really can't figure out what is left to save?????? H had A and OC on the way, so I guess I need to protect my two, please let me know any info to help me thru this

Jill

EJ: I unfortunately do not know you but I do have some questions. If these are too personal please feel free to tell me so. I am a little past one month from d-day. My H wants to work this out so bad. I am curious as to what you mean by abuse? physical, emotional? the reason I ask is because if that's there then yes I can see why you wouldn't want to stay.
Did you just feel that you couldn't get past the affair and the oc? Did he try the principles? marriage counseling? Did you feel that after the year that any of the pain had diminished? Did your H try at all?
Just wondering....it's still all new to me and because this board is primarily for building marriages I am curious to hear why you feel that you are better off. (I hope that sounded right)
Thanks,

Angelia

LOL, I am certainly NOT the one to give advice on how to survive an affair--you'll get much wiser information from the old timers here!

I'm not really wanting to start a huge flame war about the positives and negatives of staying in a difficult situation like ours is/was. Lots of the women (and men) here have spent countless hours and days making their marriages work one day at a time, and I have immense respect for them. I also have my own very strong opinions about this, borne from my own experiences and what I should and shouldn't have done in my life.

So, I suppose, if you want opinions from the "dark side" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , feel free to email me through the board--I see there's a new private message thingy, too. I'll check back to see.

Once again, holiday blessings to all of you, and thanks again to those of you who supported me when I needed it most!
EJ

I tried the private e-mail thing and it won't work. It says that only the forum moderators are allowed that. Thanks.

hmm, ok, use this email addy--it is one I don't mind spam in...

EJqt@yahoo.com

Thanks. I sent you an e-mail.