Hi, it's some1smom renamed:) I don't see alot of names I recognize but there are a few. I was lurking and decided to give an update after reading my own pathetic story in the archives.

It has only been 10months since dday but we have come very far. To rehash I am not married to
SO of now 5years we have two children and are also raising my 8yr old dtr. He is a serial cheater and I still don't quite have the answer for why I stuck around for so long. Anyway this last time was with two girls of a different race (I mention that b/c it was a fact that really bother(s)ed me ) one we got rid of successfully but the other stuck the pregnancy thing out there. I was preg at the time myself and I left but I came back. We had a girl. I think but cannot prove that they still messed around after dday. Well then she became noticeably pregnant and the **** hit the fan for SO. He then had to come to grips with what he had done both us preg at the same time. I told him I could not and would not deal with this child and he had a choice them or us. I know that still sounds really bitter and *****y but thats where I was. And I meant it, this girl has caused me hell and much stress during both of my last two pregs, and I didn't care if she lost it or aborted it. She had him thinking she would give it up if he would stay I told him he had to be smoking dope to believe her. She was going to play that card for all it was worth to make sure she was always in our lives. So months passed while we tried to recover, finally in Oct she had a boy, he was not there, we found out a week or so later. He has not seen it ( I don't mean [it] the way it sounds really) or bought anything for it.

She showed up at my house one night and I told her not to come back, well she showed up again and I beat the crap out of her. I did not feel bad, I tried to kill her. That is how much hate and anger I had built up for her. Don't think that he did not get his share, I am not sure why he stuck around. But after the fight she did not come back, she does drive by occasionally, but not as much, and does not call or follow us around town anymore. I think she got it. She has not filed for support and no DNA has been done, but then her son is still young, I'm sure she will.

As of today, I still feel exactly the same way, I don't want anything to do with her child and she doesn't want me too. I am afraid that even though he says he doesn't want to be involved one day he will. I am also struggling with the child's feelings because I am not totally heartless. But I do feel like she asked for this situation when she was told what was up but still went on with it. Yes I know he is at fault and he made it too, but I BELIEVE THAT BOTH MEN AND WOMEN HAVE A CHOICE. Why can she choose to abort or keep or give up and he not choose not to be there or not. I know some will not agree with me and thats cool with me. And for those who will ask yes I have a child and her father chooses not to be around and thats okay she has someone else who is. Okay I have rambled enough just wanted to let anyone who wondered what happened know that I am almost happy, my relationship is getting better everyday and I think, I hope it will all be okay. I also wish the very best to those whose stories I had the privilege to be party to and offer a little advice, and to those I never met who have the unfortunate luck to be in similar situations. Goood luck.
Bridgette

Hey Lady,
I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to flame you or like I'm being a smart @$$ but I was really curious about a couple of things: 1) why did the race thing seem to strike such a nerve? You said your SO was a serial cheater, is that something you can pretty much deal with except when he goes outside of his race? (Again, I'm just curious and NOT trying to be a smart @$$)and 2) did the OW try to call the police on you when you beat her down? I know all about that. I didn't try to kill xOW but I did layeth the smack down on her @$$. I wasn't worried about her calling the MPs or the city police because she had outstanding warrants for worthless checks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

message edited for typos

<small>[ December 28, 2002, 01:05 AM: Message edited by: nocontact4us ]</small>

I did not take your response as a flame. I now live in a place where there are almost no African Americans (which I am) and the few that do live here are in interracial relationships, I did not think I had a problem with it until I had to see it everyday. I know now that I do not like to see a black man with a white woman (no flames please, i have a right to how i feel)and it probably is because he cheated on me with a white girl. Yes I was equally upset every time he cheated, this one is not the first to receive the beat down <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> but for some reason I feel like it is a direct insult to me for him to go outside of or race. I am not a racist and I do believe we are all equal but we are not the same and there is a difference between black women and white. I will not argue that point I'm not here to talk race, just wanted to answer your question.

Two, no I was not worried about her calling the cops, at that point in time I had nothing on my mind but releasing the rage. Hope I aanswered your questions.
bridgette

bridgette,
I do remember your story because it was a little similar to mine. I was also pregnant at the time I found about OW and that she was also pregnant and due October 2001 while I was due in August of 2001. OW had OC last October and we still have not receive CS papers yet to see if OC is my H.

I am glad that things are getting better for you. Take care.

Dawn

Hi Lady
I read your story I can relate can you e-mail me.

<small>[ December 29, 2002, 03:20 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Hi Dawn, I remember you too, I hope things are going well for you. I guess like me for right now just be glad we don't have to deal with cs yet, knock on wood, though I don't doubt in my case that its coming, but who knows you know?

MALC, I'll email you.

Happy New Years all,
Bridgette

I'll be looking forward to your e-mail.

Hey Lady,
Would you mind emailing me as well? Thanks

NC4U

<small>[ December 30, 2002, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: nocontact4us ]</small>