Oh god I don't know WHAT to do. My divorce will be final 2 weeks from today and I'm still not sure that I can go through with it. I DON'T WANT TO LOVE A MAN WHO COULD HURT AND BETRAY ME THE WAY UH DID BUT I DO!! I find it disgusting that he had sex with other people and ESPECIALLY gave one of them a BABY!! He swears that he truly loves me and wants to stay together and will do WHATEVER I want or need to be happy and rebuild our marriage. BUT if he truly loved me, he would have kept his pecker in his pants and not lied to me for 3 years. I don't want to be with him, yet I don't want to be without him either! I'm in limbo and its SO bad! My family HATES him and I feel like the divorce is the only option at this point but secretly I WANT to work it out with but I can't let go of what he has done to me and our families. I can't get the imagine of him and her having sex in OUR house once!! I can't get over that there is a living reminder of what he did to me and I know it will cause that child pain too. I don't think I will be able to let this go so I figure a divorce is the only way out. I still love him but I don't want to. He calls everyday to say how sorry he is and how much he misses me BUT is that suppose to make for what he did. He is kissing major butt and doing everything I ask for and STILL isn't enough. So I think if I'm the one who can't let go then I need to end this or I will just DRIVE him into another affair down the road. HELP PLZ! Does anyone ever REALLY get past this pain and heartache and the thoughts of them being together??? Can I stay with him and not look like a wimp!!??
HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO SELFISH!! MY HEART ACHES AND I STILL CRY EVERYDAY!!!

TINML,
PLEASE rethink this! With time, the hurt, pain, and anger, will go away and you CAN heal from this. It's obvious you still love your husband. Otherwise you wouldn't be secretly wishing it could work out. Your Husband is willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make this up to you. Don't let your pride be your downfall. Think about it....If NO ONE in your family knew, or NO ONE AT ALL knew, and you didn't have to fear what others would think about you, or that you would look weak for staying, you would stay wouldn't you? You have to remember that NO ONE is perfect and we will ALL falter at some point in our lives. Other than this, has your Husband been a major screw up? please take some time to rethink this divorce. TRY to give yourself some time to recover and to make it work. Put the divorce on hold for maybe a year and TRY to make your marriage work. If you still feel exactly the same in a year and feel you have made NO progress at all, then make the decision. Just don't do it right now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can I stay with him and not look like a wimp!!??
HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO SELFISH!! MY HEART ACHES AND I STILL CRY EVERYDAY!!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Listen to your heart and NOT your family or friends.
thisisnotmylife, stop the proceedings for now. Give yourself time.

If you are miserable w/wo H, then it's a normal feeling. We have all felt that way.

Even months after d-day, I loved/hated my H.

I was told to give it time. Quit letting outsiders influence you!

I'd rather be a recovering "happy wimp" than alone and missing my H and being a "tough girl" anyday.

Your H WANTS you. Reach inside and give him a chance.

God's blessings. I'll pray for you.

love
Debi

I think you DO know what to do and are just afraid to take that step. It's obvious you still love him. And it sounds as though he still loves you too.

I stayed. And I'm not sorry I did. I don't consider myself a wimp in any way, shape or form. Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity is not for sissies. It requires a strength and committment you had no idea you had.

You need to decide what YOU want. Your family loves you and doesn't want to see you hurt. Explain to them that you appreciated their support during this difficult time but you now need them to respect your decision to try to rebuild your marriage. This is YOUR life, YOUR marriage and NOT their decision.