Test results came in the mail yesterday. H is 99.99% the father of oc. I had a bad day yesterday. He was and has been very supportive. I just went back to work last week from hyster. A lot has been going on so I feel very stressed. There was a copy of picture of the ow and oc attached to paperwork.

She is very ugly, not attractive at all. Child looks like her. He is 9 months old now. Now we have jumped over this hurdle we have to go back for the support phase. After that or in the meantime if visitation is to be established h has to pay attorney.

I am having lots of mixed emotions. I feel like I do not want to have any contact. Not sure where my marriage is heading. Please pray for me and give me some words of encouragement as I continue this journey one way or the other.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

i'm sorry. i was really hoping you would be given a 'get out of jail free' card.

if you and h are committed to rebuilding your m and can come to an agreement on how to deal w/ the situation from here, i think you can successfully rebuild your m. just try not to make any decisions while you're still reeling from this new discovery. i am one to make rash decisions and it has come back to bite me on the bum more than once! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

hello butterflie,
your problem sounds the same as mine. I too couldn't give h a child, had tubil 5yrs before we met. talk about getting reversal, cost to much. i have 3 teenager from previous marriage, the OC is H's first,OW is NOT good looking at all, luckily OC looks like daddy, beautiful, not one bit like OW,very sweet child, not like OW.
Every day, it's something different,our marriage is going really well, life looks wonderful, the next I'm leaving. OW can't get it thru her head, H is staying with me,she got pregnant thinking he would leave me,cuz i wasn't women enough to give him a child,and she was.she is always trying to start something, telling lies all around the place.
H pay CS, and together H and I fought for joint custody, we get OC once a week and every other weekend for now, working on more time.
We enjoy the time with OC, and it's great to get OC(21 months) together with our grandson (10 months). So I figure some way, some how OUR life together will work out, we just have to keep working on it really hard.
Good luck to you, remember why you two got together in the first place, and work to get that back, LOVE!!!

To D if you do!

Thank you for your comment. We are doing well most of the time. I go through my mood swings somedays I want to divorce him. But, he will not give up on us. He is fighting so hard. I am still just so hurt by all of this I have to pray a lot for God to help me make it through this ordeal and not end my marriage.

We both have made mistakes in this marriage his a very costly one, however. We go back to court 6/10 to go over the financial part. Hopes to pay attorney by then so that she gets us the visitation and part custody.

I told h the other night I could not accept this baby and I wanted out. We argued and I am very strong about being independent if needed you know. He will not give up begs me to keep fighting. So we decided that if/when visitation starts we will do our own thing with the child.

Such as birthdays,and all. We will have him party of our own. The only contact we will have with childs mom is when we pick up child and drop child off. Now later on if sports, and etcs are a factor we will be there together as a united front you know what I mean.

I will keep praying and I will pray for you as well. God bless you and your family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Butterflie,
So you WOULD be willing to be at sporting events with OW there? It didn't occur to me til you said that, that that might come up. I can't see being at anything jointly together with OW. Who knows if I will ever have to worry about it though- I am divorced and in Plan B- husband is very confused about what he wants.

I am sorry, butterflie. I remember when our results came in the mail. It was a very tough day. I think that there was a part of us (both) that was wishing this would all be taken away from us. We didn't believe we would get the "get out of jail free card" but we both hoped for it.

Shalom,
MJ