Hey there all. My wife has told me that she is leaning heavily towards divorce because she can not handle the thought of the OC affecting her house or pocketbook. She told me we can be friends, but how so is my question. I love her with all my heart. I have realized so many things now that I wish I would have realized before I ruined everything. We both wish we would have realized these things. We seem as if we can totally be in love when not thinking about these things, but once she thinks about it she wants nothing to do with me. Our MC said that I need to show her fun and happiness when she is down. She told my wife that she needs to be open to me showing her fun. Well my wife has slammed the door on that just a few days after the MC gave us this advice. I am sad and hurt at this decision. My wife and daughter are my life and I have lost have of my life. For 4 years I made decisions based on the two of them. Yes I screwed up and only thought of myself for a few months and I see where it got me. No wife and leaving at my parents. I don't want to give up hope, but when does it go from being persistant and loving to just plain annoying? My wife doesn't post here, but I believe she visits and reads what is said. If anyone has advice for either of us please write. Thank you and good luck to all in rebuilding your marriages. I hope it works becasue the thought of divorce is devastating.

It has been 7 months for me since I found out about my H's A/OC. We are going to MC and trying very hard to work on our marriage. We have very little contact with OW right now, and no contact with OC now, although that may change as I have no idea how things will eventually turn out for us. What I can tell you is that I have felt like your wife many times. I often feel like I can't deal with this situation. The $ part for me is very difficult as well, and I don't know how I will deal with it in the future. But it is getting a little easier for me to deal with over time. It sounds like you are remorseful, and it's good to see the WS coming here to see how to help his wife. Give her time and be loving and supportive. Time does help. My marriage is not out of the woods yet, and we still have many difficult issues to deal with, but it does get better with time. Good Luck.

ftb,

Did you want to quit at times? Is there something that made you realize that you want your marriage to work? I am looking for anything that my wife can use to help her out. She doesn't post here but she reads things. I love my wife and am very remorseful. I screwed up the best thing to ever happen to me. I am hoping to salvage it somehow. We are going to a marriage counselor and I think this one is great. I believe she can keep us together if my wife is willing to keep going. My wife is pretty pessimistic right now and believes this won't work. I on the other believe that we actually have learned what love is and we do love each other, we just have this huge issue there right now. If you have any tools that you used to stick with your husband please share so my wife can read. Rightn now I would do anything to help her out. I hope things work out for you. Love is a strong thing. Follow your heart.

Fo