I think I am being contacted by OW’s friend.<P>Few weeks a go a guy sent me an invitation to join a yahoo messenger. I asked him who is he. He told me that he’d seen me with friends and would like to be my friend and meet me in person. He refused to tell me from whom he got my e-address. He also blubbered a lot that his girlfriend left him 6 months before they got married for his own best friend. He asked me who would I feel if that’s happen to me. I wrote to him few words (yeah yeah I know that this is kinda stupid) that that should be belssing in disguise for him that it happened before he got married. Then he got long winded telling me that I seemed to understand his pain and that I could tell him anything. Things were getting fishier, I did not reply again afterwards. He wrote me another letter asking me why I did not reply so I told him that we’d better stop writing each other. Then he got very nasty, calling me ‘hard’ and ‘negative thinker’ and ‘immature’ and ‘did not open my eyes to see how beautiful the world is’. Craps. So I replied back, told him to leave me alone and tell whoever tell him my e-address to leave me alone to. I banned his e-mail address afterwards. Phiew…<P>Anyhow, mind my negative thought, I have a strong feeling that H’s OW was the one who sent him to bug me. Do you think that is possible? What does she want anyway? To confirm that I suffered? Do you think I am being paranoid?<BR>

Well, that's hard to say. Maybe you could find out who he is, if it is really bothering you. Otherwise, let it be, it will only make you crazy.

Saskia,<P>You can do a reverse search for e-mail addresses and websites.<P>strangepages.net/search.html<P><BR>Good Luck. It does sound fishy. How do you REALLY know it was a man, and not the OW?

Saskia,<P>You can do a reverse search for e-mail addresses and websites.<P>strangepages.net/search.html<P><BR>Good Luck. It does sound fishy. How do you REALLY know it was a man, and not the OW?

You may very well be right. I confirmed H's first affair under similar circumstances. OW's friend called posing as OW's sister-in-law and stated H's business card was found @ OW's place. Her supposed "brother" was a basketcase and too nuts to deal w/it. Asked her to help by checking out H's info. Her real purpose was to inform me and hope that I would leave him. Some time passed and I hadn't left, so guess what...heard from "SIL" again. In fact, heard from her a couple of times, essentially to "feed" me info designed to piss me off. It did piss me off, but I still didn't leave him. When he finally did end it w/her, I heard from OW herself w/the "I'm pregant line"<P>It just sounds too coincidental that this person has a story of infidelity to share at this time w/you. She is probably trying to assess the state of your marriage to, in turn, determine what her chances may be now. If your "pen-pal" was so despondent, why does he want to hear so much about your pain as opposed to expressing his own? I think you are right and something is fishy here. Good thing to cut off any contact. She would only try to use it against you.

TnT,<P>Thank you very much. One thing I sensed that this was a man was because of his name and also that he did call me once. Before any letters come, I remember that there was one guy called me in the office, he re-assured me that we talked before (which I don't think we did) and that he was offering a service for my company. And few days later, I got the letter with the same name as the caller. The other reason why I am sure that the letter was not from the OW because of the style of the language he wrote (I and OW been writing each other nasty e-mails. I was so stupid but that was because I have not find this forum) and also because he was being so aggresive asking me out for coffee, lunch or dinner eventhough I had told him that I am married. In ordinary 'secret admirer' case, any man usually will stop asking out by the time he knew that the woman is married.<P>Carol & Enlightened,<P>I had my H's affair confirmed through my Mother's client 5 months a go and I believe that he has cut off all contact ever since. I believed (from their chat-save) that H saw her only as a fling but she DID then have crush on him. When I found out and put a stop to it, she was very furious. H, who couldn't imagine that the damage could be this serious, dumped her through e-mail and send a copy to me. Before I guess he was kinda expect us to get along as a friend. I believed that he had realised that he made mistake, and had tried to stir that up into a real friendship as he did put some efforts to introduce us in person for several times, we even came to her house once, but she had always managed to dissappeared in a last minutes.<P>Maybe you are right that she is checking up on us, I just couldn't imagine why would she do that.