It was a long, hard, holiday season, but made it through with the support of my family.

Only spoke to my WW a couple of times, but yesterday we got together again to talk about the future.

She said she will not give up her baby. I told her again that I cannot accept the baby, and if she insists on keep it, I will file for a divorce.

She just said that she won't give up her baby, no matter how it was conceived, and that if I can't accept it, then I should file for divorce.

So here we are. I am going to my lawyer this week to get things started.

I am at ease with the decision to divorce. I think she is still hung up on OM, and that will never go away. In fact will get worse once his baby is born.

She has never made more than a half hearted attempt to even say that she wants our marriage to survive. She has never said if you love me you would accept my baby, or anything like that.

I don't think it was ever meant to be.
Ray

xray,,,,,,, sounds like you have a very supportive family standing beside you.

from your posts i have to say that i agree with your assessment of your w's attitudes toward om. whether she is in the "fog" or honestly has feelings for him you have never stated in your posts where she has shown you remorse or told you how truly sorry she is for this mess.

it's easy for me to say from here but in your shoes i can see me doing exactly as you have decided.

you seem to be looking at this without all the excess emotions and putting great thought into your decisions.

good luck in the future, pops

Sorry you have to go through this Ray. Hopefully in the future you will find a woman who will give herself fully to you and that you will never have to deal with this betrayal again.

Ray,
Best wishes for a positive future. If time won't change her heart, it will certainly help you to grow and learn!

love
Debi

Ray,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She just said that she won't give up her baby, no matter how it was conceived, and that if I can't accept it, then I should file for divorce.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's very typical for a wayward spouse to do nothing (as your wife is doing in this case), and force you to do all the work and make all the decisions regarding the marriage. I don't see a whole lot of clever options here for you, but it's a shame that there's not the time to make her confront the situation and do the dirty work (divorce).

It's good that you have a supportive family to watch out for you. Stay well.

Thanks for understanding my decision. I do not make it lightly.

I do have a great family supporting me. My dad and brother have always been there for me.

In this case my sister in law has really been great. Nice to have a woman's point of view.
Ray

Ray,

I wish you all the best in your future. You didn't deserve this mistreatment by your wife and I hope and pray for a brighter tomorrow for you.

No one here faults you for your decision. You are young, you have no children together. What you are doing is exactly what the Harleys suggest in your situation. Most of us here had years and years into our marriage and children--or in our case we were in the middle of adopting three children who would have had a very grim future in an orphanage.

All the best,
MJ