We are approaching a milestone wedding anniversary. Plus being the 1st one since d-day, I want to make it something very special for my H.

Being the FWW, I'm looking for advice from BS as to what I can do to make this anniv. meaningful to my BH, and leave him w/ many happy memories.

What can a WS do, say, and show that would mean the most to a BS?

Is it possible to make this the best anniv. ever?

Also, advice from FWS that have already celebrated the 1st anniv. post d-day would be greatly appreciated.

While I was P, my H asked if I would like to return to our favorite tropical destination for our anniv. We planned to, but now w/ the baby actually here, neither one of us want to leave him for the time period we would need. We considered taking him with, and getting a nanny while we are there. However, the plane trip is several hrs. long, and we're not sure we should subject a young baby, (and the passengers <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ) to that.

We are both disappointed about the trip, but figure we are merely postponing it and will still go sometime in the (hopefully near) future.

A trip in and of itself wouldn't achieve what I'm looking to do anyway. I want to know what important things I can do to show my H I love him and am so very grateful for him.

Oh, and if anyone knows of a good last minute tropical location that isn't so far away, that could be a shorter vacation, etc...I'd appreciate those suggestions too!

Also, anyone experienced w/ leaving a breastfed baby for a few days? Not concerned about pumping, (sorry guys <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> ), but more w/ how the baby handles going back to nursing after being bottle fed for a few days.

Thanks and take good care.

~aut

How about a Retrouvaille weekend? A Retrouvaille Weekend is a gift couples give each other when they have been in a troubled marraige and seeking a new beginning.

The link is www.retrouvaille.org and the fees are whatever you can afford.

Bipolar and I had a Retrouvaille weekend on our anniversary right after D-day and it was the jump start we needed to get through the trauma of all that had occurred in our marriage.

The best thing about this weekend is the gift you give each other at the end of the weekend...a compilation of your thoughts that each of you have written about what is in your hearts. This notebook is written throughout the weekend between speakers' presentations, meals and readings. It is very intense and it reveals the commitment you truly have with each other.

If this doesn't sound like something you had in mind for your anniversary, then consider it anyway for another time, but check into it anyway. Their teachings are very "Harley" and will give you two an amazing insight into each others' hearts and feelings. The success rate of this program is an amazing 85% and is worth considering.

What could be a more intense declaration of your love and commitment than presenting your husband with a book of your deepest heartfelt feelings...and in turn, receive his? Very intense and romatic.

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ January 07, 2004, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

Dearest Aut,

Well, our first post D-day anniversary was spent in labor and delivery, TRYING to have a baby! So, I will be of no help in that line, also, our second, Sailorman was a month away from arriving home from a 6 month deployment! This last anniversary, I was at my parent's home, and the US had launched the attack in Iraq. Gee, I guess I have absolutely NO advice from experience <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I love Cat's idea of the retrouvaille. I do know that Sailorman is planning a belated anniversary trip for our 15th. He is planning on having us attend one of the Marriage Builder weekends! We just need to ok it with family to watch the kiddos!

I would say to just show Mr. Aut how much you love him! You know the saying, "Actions speak louder than words".

Good luck, and hope more have some better advice soon!

Love,
Tigger

Dear Aut,

I don't know if you are looking in this direction, but there were two most meaningful things that happened in my marriage after D-Day.

Completely out of the blue, my H told me that he was truly sorry for all the pain he caused me and if he had it all to do over again he would never make the choices that he did. As a BS, we often tell our spouses that we need their apologies, but it is the most wonderful feeling when the WS says it spontaneously and from the heart.

He then presented me with a card that asked the question, "Will you marry me again?". We had the most beautiful but simple renewal ceremony on our 20th wedding anniversary, right in our own backyard, with our family and closest friends.

The fondest memory of my "new marriage" will always be dancing with my H to "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers. The words of that song seemed to speak directly to us both with deeper meaning than we ever noticed before. It was a day that I will cherish all the days of my life.

love,
heavenly

Cat~

I've heard about Retrouvaille, but never checked into it, thanks for the link! It might be something we'll do, especially since the dates for MB weekends haven't worked for us yet.

Tig~

"Dearest Aut" ???????

What a sweetie...don't think I've ever been greeted that way, not even w/ my real name!! Wow, those were some pretty crummy "1st" anniversaries, you guys have a lot of catching up to do!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Attending an MB weekend sounds so awesome. I hope it works out for you to go!

I've been working on the "actions speak louder than words" concept.

Heavenly~

Thank you for the insight. Especially since my H doesn't verbalize to me what he needs from me as a FWS, (other than saying he just wants me to be happy and smile more). I see what you mean about "spontaneous, and from the heart".

Thank you all for your help, I appreciate it.

~aut

Vow renewal would be wonderful for your fresh start. Also, you could take his wedding ring in for "cleaning" and have something meaningful engraved. I did this for our first anniversary when we were really poor. My husband was touched more by this, than any gift since.

Yesssss, I like the engraving idea!!

We had our original rings engraved with something incredibly lame <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> before our wedding. H lost his in the bottom of a lake a couple of years later. I luckily was able to surprise him with a replacement identical ring. I didn't have that one engraved, since I still couldn't think of anything creative.

If I can manage to get the ring away from him, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should engrave?

We've talked about getting new rings, but would never get rid of our current rings as they carry way too much sentiment, are kind of unique, and match each other. I always said our new rings would have to have something really awesome engraved.

In the meantime...I'm loving the idea of engraving his current ring! Thanks!

I was breast feeding our daughter but took him to a hotel within driving distance for an overnight. After dinner, we went back to the hotel and I gave him a book that I had bought with "our" poem in it. I had a bookmark that I had made, marking the page. After I read it out loud to him, I gave him his ring with the first line of the poem engraved in it.
Here is an example of something you could do.
Get a babysitter. Even if you stay at home. Get a baysitter! Have a good dinner (or whatever meal) complete with a favorite dessert. Then you could play a song that is "yours". Something like shania Twain's forever and for always (I think that's the title) And in your rings you could have ~forever and for always~ engraved.
If you do something like this, I would be interested to hear all about it.
Good luck to you.

Forgot to add: I haven't left my breast fed babies for more than a night, but I have taken them on planes. It is very easy. Make sure that you wear a REALLY comfortable shirt, and feed the baby ALOT, esp. during take off and landing.

AD,

You want to make it special???

Tell him you love him. Tell him how you think of him and respect him. Men often look at things differently than women. The one thing most men don't get in their daily life is compliments, women do it to one another all of the time, but not men.

Do something simple, but special.

One last thought, think up something that has you dressed in something YOU feel really good in and like. He will pick up on your happiness and that is after all the best anniversary gift,isn't it??

God Bless,

JL

autumn,
If you don't want to risk nipple confusion, don't use a bottle w/artificial nipple (requires totally different muscles when sucking, bottle is "easier")... (clean)Medicine dropper or plastic syringe, spoon, sippy cup, etc. are alternatives.

Living overseas, I've taken babies on long plane flights more times than I want to count, and they usually do great! Nursing babies are quiet babies! (and less likely to get ill) My bottlefed baby didn't cry much either--just be attentive and give something to suck during take-off and landings, for ears.) Even if they cry some, you'll never see these people again! LOL

Another consideration is your milk supply might not stay as high when only pumping for so long... babies are just better at it than machines are. I'd also expect an angry, confused, or grieving/clingy baby if left for long time, depending on how well bonded you are... they really don't understand that you're coming back.

But DO do something special with your hubby!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Awesome! Even 12 hours at a nice hotel or bed and breakfast would create special memories. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My favorite anniversaries are the one at a b&b and renewing vows.

Engraving suggestion: "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine." from Song of Solomon, the Bible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Good luck!
J, grateful mom of 3

Now I really need to do something special for my H.

He surprised me by booking a trip. A warm, but not too long of a flight destination. Baby will come with us since it's for 8 nights. Teens stay home though...yehhhhh!!!(I think)??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Doc said the same thing, A Girl...lots of nursing or bottle feeding upon take off and landing. Thank you also, Jenny for the useful information. I agree, breastfed babies do tend to be happy babies. I know mine is. He was so happy at the Dr's office the other day, (till immunization time), he was all flirty and smiley w/ the nurses, and blowing raspberries so much he had drool all the way down to his tummy!!

<small>[ January 15, 2004, 12:11 PM: Message edited by: autumnday ]</small>