Last night I told WH, that he had to leave. I'm tired of living in his "limbo". WH has been claiming to be "babysitting" the OC while OW works at night. A phone call to OW proved what I already knew - that woman has no job. I'm extremely upset with myself because I gave him the benefit of the doubt - because I knew at one point she did in fact work at night. So WH - has been trying to live in two worlds so that he can have both of his children.

Well - I must have BooBoo the Fool written on my forehead, but I told him that I wasn't living this way anymore. I told him - you have to choose. You can't live in 2 worlds. He "claims" to be exasperated by the fact that OW is a pothead and he is looking out for OC. Now - I feel sorry for that child because if that is the case, which I imagine it maybe considering that they both partake in those activities to my disgust, OC has a lousy mom. I told WH - that he would be undertaking a huge task in trying to change the woman and that he would venture into the same mistake his mother made years ago (crack addict ex).

Now - if I can get the man to return my call & get his stuff out of my house & return my keys - I'd be someplace! My attorney, I believe is out of town, but I do plan on getting some paperwork started. I've gotten sick to death of this whole mess & knew from D-day I probably wouldn't make it because it takes 2 willing spouses to turn a marriage around.

As for my own precious DD, we'll be fine. I'm actually the sole providor & I make a pretty decent living so I don't think there'll be a problem with that! I figured WH had a year to get his act together, because I didn't want to have to explain this mess to a small child!

Vee - unloading some old stuff ....

Vee, although things seem terrible for you right now, I'm sure they will improve given your young age.

There are many men who remain in a fog and yours seems like one of them. Start plan B. Tell your H you have to start living for yourself until he finds himself. That although you love him you must get away from such a painful situation. H must begin to see life without you to run to anytime he wants.

You must begin to see yourself as a strong woman. Leave a part of yourself open to the fact H may pursue you again in the future, but things must be negotiated together before you allow him to move back home. You will know when the time is right.

All contact with ow/oc must be a first followed by counseling.

My prayers are with you.

love
Debi

Hi Vee...It's been ages since we have heard from you...two years, I bet! When was the last time you were here?

I am so very sorry that you've discovered another deception but you sound like you have had enough and have decided to move on and get papers filed.

How are you doing now? Are you still resolved to doing this since you first posted or have things changed? Let us know. Therea re still a few aorund from the early days that will remember you..Jenny's still here.

I'm sorry it turned out that way, Vee, I really am. However, you sound like a strong and determined lady with good boundaries--good for you!! Your H has got to be out of his mind.

I wish you and your daughter every happiness.
J

Catnip -
I IM Staci occasionally! LOL I mainly lurk & read most of the time. I posted I think - a month or so back because WH was trying to impose visitation of OC on me. He wanted to bring the child to our house like we were a blended stepfamily or something! AGH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> No offense to those where visitation & contact with OC work, but here it can't because he wants to call all the shots. Girl - I could go on about all the details!

Debi -
Actually - WH is STILL trying to pursue me. I talked to him last night against my better judgement for about an hour. It was all this whiny mess about how he can't live without me BUT he's on his way to OW. The point about the strong woman is what's wrong with him. He knows that I'll be fine without him. Monday (when I told him to get his stuff & go be with OW) he said "It's not fair that you would get to lead this perfect life while mine is screwed up." WHAT THE @$#! I told him - well that's what life is about, you learn from mistakes & don't repeat them. He wants to move out to another state to take a job where the cost of living would eat us alive. I would then give up a job that I LOVE to go someplace with a man who is running from his problems. Not fixing them - but running from them. My heart for the 1st time said WHOA LADY - WE WILL NOT BE MOVING! My heart and my head are now in agreement - it's time to move on.

I am confused about the best way to do Plan B now. He still has the keys to my house & still has stuff there. I really want it gone. I could do a Plan B letter - but he hates letters. If I tell him to come get his crap - (well not in those words) he might flip-out. Hmmm - maybe I better make this another thread on the Plan B approach.

Jenny - Thanks. My WH is so deep in the fog a lighthouse couldn't guide him to shore. I'm emotionally drained & tired. I wish him well but it just won't be with me.