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Joined: Jul 2003
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Im not sure if I asked this before, but OW was married(separated) at time of affair and birth of child. Nobody is listed on BC as father - her H knows it is not his child. My H would not sign the papers to get put on BC. She is in process of getting divorce, lives in CA. The child is 2. Does anyone know if there is a time limit as to when she can go after my H for paternity test, or is it anytime? I thought I read that if a woman is married and nobody is put on BC by the time child is 2, it is assumed that her H is the father. Is that legal, even if he knows he isn't? My H said she can ask for a paternity test at any time, anyone know for sure?

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I think depending on your state it varies. I've heard it be as little as 2 years on up to 18 years. Good question though. Also, her h may of already took a DNA test so he would not have to pay her cs on another man's child.

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I don't know that answer either. But I also have heard that if a child is born within a marriage that there is usually up till the age of two to say otherwise. I bet you could call CA and find out the law on that...then if the child is 2 years old maybe that would relieve some stress for you. I would find that valuable information to find out. I know of a person not filing for child support or establishing paternity till the child was 4 years old. It took 2 years to get it finalized. But the mother wasn't married when the child was born so it is different.

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fortheboys,

Try this link for some possible info.... Calif Child Support

Lots of VERY technical legalese but perhaps you can get some useful info......

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Thanks for the link, but it is still confusing. Anyone know who I can call? Or do any of you living in CA have a good lawyer friend who can answer this question. The only thing I don't know is if her husband has taken a paternity test or signed anything to say he is not the father. From the site it looks like the husband is assumed to be the legal father by the age of 2 if not proved to be NOT the father. He is not on the BC, but neither is my H. But the site also says there is no statute of limitations, so I'm confused. Anyone have any lawyer connections I can call?

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forth I think but not sure what it is reading is that the husband has 2 years to prove it or he is presumed the father but otherwise if it's someone other than that there is no limit on the time? I would have to go read it myself then call my girlfriend who just graduated from law school and have her translate it. Which she is going for her bar in Ca.

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needtomoveon - If you know someone you think could answer this question I would really appreaciate an answer and the help. this is tormenting me. OC is 2. My H has no intentions of stopping paying $, but we are paying by verbal agreement and she always threatens to go to court when angry or things in her life are bad, even though my H is paying a lot of $ already. We don't want our children involved, so don't want this to go into the courts. Not using this as a way to get out of paying, b/c my H wouldn't do that (although I would love to have the $ back every month b/c we can't pay our bills but that is another issue) - we just don't want to get screwed by the legal system as so many here have. It would be nice to know if she could no longer make him take a paternity test, although I think it is wishful thinking.

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My girlfriend loves to look up this kind of stuff. She works for a divorce attorney in CA and she is getting ready to take the bar. I will call her over the weekend and see what she can find out. If she can't find it she'll ask the man she works for. He ususally takes Hard cases so I know he'll know what it is. Give me a few days as she is single and no kids and out most of the weekends doing single things. But sure I'll ask her. I could understand your reasons.

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Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!! If he needs more info I would be happy to talk to him and pay for a phone consult or whatever it takes to get the info I need. My H has gone to several lawyers in CA for the initial "free" consult and they have given absolutely no useful info. I live on the other side of the country so could only do it by phone, but if he needed more details I would be happy to pay for the info. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sure no problem. Like I told you earlier when I seperated from h I went to see several attorney's and just for a seperation as well. They were telling me I was wasting my time as the divorce cost the same but they were all MORE than willing to take my money to do it. I put a call into her this weekend. I'm assuming that ow is in ca and you guys are not?

I almost forgot....When stbxh did file after I told him about me, our first court date we both told the judge that I was pregnant with someone else's child. His attorney started it, and I confirmed it with my attorney. So it's on the record as such. I don't know if xmm fights it if h will have to take a dna test, as xmm knows I had no relations with h for 2 years prior to our relationship, but to stall things I'm sure he may use it.

<small>[ January 23, 2004, 09:25 PM: Message edited by: needtomoveon ]</small>

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Thanks. You are right - Ow lives in CA and we do not. If you need to contact me off the boards my email is lola19652003@yahoo.com Thanks for your help.

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fortheboys, this is my understanding:

In California, paternity can be established AT ANY TIME UNTIL AGE 18.

It really makes no difference who is listed as the father on the birth certificate; paternity is conclusively determined only by a DECLARATION OF PATERNITY FORM, which I'm assuming your husband was not present to fill out. CA State considers the father's name on the birth certificate a "strong indication" that paternity has been established, but this typically is only true in cases where the mother and father are married to one another, and even then is still subject to confirmation by the existence of a filed DECLARATION OF PATERNITY FORM.

Get the DNA tests and get a good lawyer. OW can dangle this boulder over your heads for the next 16 to 20 years (depending on whether the child goes to college.) Best to know exactly what your obligations and options are so you don't get manipulated out of fear. Or worse... blackmail. Is your husband keeping the child a "secret" from family/friends/employer?

'Fess up to the reality of the situation and get proactive about planning for your futures with this child. Don't wait for OW to make the first move every time. Get some legal footing of your own.

Good luck!


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