Hi Everyone,
Just to recap my situation, WS and OW have an OC. He is with me and our two kids, it was a phy. affair. He has been sending her $ but now she keeps telling him I put papers in, no I haven't, yes I did... I want to go through the courts, and at the same time, we want to send $ so the child doesn't suffer. The OW is very manip. and I am worried that sending $ now will backfire later. If we keep documentation will this go toward whatever the courts determine? OR will whatever we send be a gift? I have heard both and both seem plausible I just don't know. We are in FL. Also, how is CS handled for taxes on both our side and OW? Thanks for all the support you have given. I am 3 weeks into this since finding out and I feel better with the information and support I've received.

Judi

Speaking very generally, whatever money you send to the child will be considered a gift. Documentation or not, the courts will determine how much is owed based on income and arrearage.
Also... there are no tax benefits for child support that I know of. Where there are tax benefits in DR cases are in spousal support situations which wouldn't apply here.
I guess my final advice would be to consult with an attorney in FL if you need to, because they would be more familiar with the local laws.

e.

Speak

First, I want to say how sorry I am that you have found yourself here...but, we welcome you anyway. You have come to the right place.

The general consensus here is not to allow any money to exchange hands until you have received DNA results simply because some courts will construe the exchange of money as an "admission of guilt".

There have been four or so cases right here on this site where the OW's child was not the bio-child of the WS. It happens. In fact, one woman, ZebraBaby and her husband, paid the OW several thousands of dollars without DNA proof, bought hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars in baby furniture, clothes, toys, medical, food, money etc., out of the goodness of their hearts only to find out a year later the child was not her husband's. They even had visitation.

Also, a WS cannot claim OC on his Federal taxes if the OC lives with it's mother. There are absolutely no tax benefits (grrrrrr). And, I have never heard of any state that allows for this deduction either.

Like "e" said, get an attorney in your area and insist on DNA before you let go of another nickle. Not to be stingy, but to protect yourselves. If you have children of your own, now would be a good time to file for separation and get CS for your own children, should the DNA come back positive. You want to be the FIRST one to file for CS.

Finally, please don't let misplaced guilt guide you on this. You can entertain the idea of money, visitation and contact once you have the positive results in hand. Until then, don't turn your life anymore upside down than it already is....use this time to reconnect with your husband and rebuild your marriage. That is where the focus should be right now. That's why you came to Marriage Builders, isn't it? Everything else is secondary. Study and implement those Harley principles and policies.

God bless

Catnip =^^=

Question.....are you sure the mm can't claim the child on income tax return every other year? When I got my paperwork in order for my attorney, I gave him the same as my stbxh....that every other year he claim his daughter. That I wanted the first year as I have put out the most expenses for the pregnancy and everything else. My attorney did not blink a eye when she read it. Nor did she say I did not have to do that. I figure if he's paying support for his child he has that right to claim her every other year.

NTMO and anyone else: about the taxes and dependants:

The dependency status of a child is determined by WHO the child lives with. You can read the definitions of a dependant in the instructions for your tax forms (1040, 1040A) So a child would automatically be the dependent of whoever they reside with PRIMARILY regardless of how much CS is paid.

EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULEARE: IF there is an agreement in the divorce papers or the parenting (custody/visitation order) that states, in writing, that the parents agree to claim the child on certain years. This will not happen automatically, the parents have to agree and it can be contested @ a custody hearing, a judge can decide to keep the dependancy status for the parent who the child lives with the majority of the time.


We currently have this in our parenting agreement w/ OW (we claim OC every other year)because she agreed to it but our lawyer said that people do not usually agree to this. You do NOT have to agree to this but I think it is a fair thing to do.

Per the Tax Reform Act of 1984 or 1985 (I'm drawing a blank right now), the NCP is not entitled to claim a child as a dependant unless they can prove that they provided for more than 50% of the cost incurred for that tax year (to raise the child). So, for anyone who is divorced and is sharing custody, AND has this as an issue, save ALL your receipts. Anything related to maintenance/support of the child can be counted. This can include receipts for gas. It takes money to buy gas to get the kids to and from.

Typically, child credit goes to the primary custodial parent, unless other arrangements are made. The one thing the NCP can certainly claim is whatever they paid for childcare.

OB1

***the NCP is not entitled to claim a child as a dependant unless they can prove that they provided for more than 50%***

According to our cs papers, H is responsible for 79% of oc cost but we still cannot claim oc on out taxes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I was really surprised to hear this. I had to talk to my attorney today anyway and asked her about this and she said the same thing. That I'm the primary care giver and can claim them every year. I told her that it was only fair the way I had told stbxh that he can claim one and I could claim one. She said that is up to me. I also feel that if xmm if going to pay his fair share and medical he should claim her every other year. It only seems fair. Now I may change my mind if we end up in a huge battle, but even with stbxh battle and all I still give him one to claim every year. He does pay cs and medical insurance and expenses with that most of the time.