I'm the BS whose husband got involved with the OW with the ectopic pregnancy that "supposedly" was "moved" into her uterus. I had posted this story under "Any thoughts about this?" and "Ectopic pregnancy and the X-files".

Anyway, we got a verbal report back from the private investigator that we had hired, and it seems that she's done this before....

She claims that she's pregnant, extorts money from the poor guy, suddenly miscarries the baby and moves to another state.

Up until my husband, each of the 3 prior men have fallen for this deception and paid her the money that she claimed that they owed her for the "abortion".

Out of all the women who my husband could have had an affair with, he picked a con artist!!

She's been married AND divorced 3 times. The man that she's currently living with was her prior husband, who she divorced back in 2002. By doing some research of public court records myself, I've found that she has a history of filing physical abuse charges against whoever she was living with/married to at the time.

The private investigator says that he has strong evidence that leads him to believe that she's not pregnant. We'll find out what that evidence is when we get his report this week.

So, I'm still hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. I'm just not going to take his word on it that she's not pregnant, I need indisputable proof to put my mind at ease.

So, given the fact that she falsely charged me with making abusive phone calls, harassed us with emails almost daily, threatened our jobs, tried to blackmail us....what would you do in this situation?

Should I sue her, or just let it go and chalk it up to a lesson learned the hard way? Part of me wants to teach her a lesson, so that she may think twice before she ropes another man into a bad situation, but then again, I'm not a person who likes to seek revenge.

Like I said, it's still a bit early to tell if she's actually pregnant, but when I find out for sure, I'm undecided as to what to do. Of course, my husband and I will discuss this, but I was just curious as to what any of you would do?

Thanks!!

btw - when all of this is settled, do you think that Lifetime may be interested in making a movie of my experience? LOL

Congrats!! Sounds like part one of your nightmare may be over. I think it would be real tempting to want revenge on OW - believe me I have had those thoughts myself. However, I don't think I could ever find it in myself to seek revenge. She sure does deserve to be taught a lesson, but I guess I am for turning the other cheek. What good is it really going to do to cause more problems?

I would recommend concentrating on your marriage and solving the problems that led to the A. That should be your focus. Rebuilding and healing. Showing the OW that you and your H will survive this mess and build a stronger marriage as a result may just be the best revenge.

Just my opinion.

God Bless,
Kris

A -
Do you still have all the documentation of the emails and such??
If you do, I suggest as soon as you have enough evidence, contact an attorney about filing charges. If she has done this before, then she must be stopped. Apparently the 3 men prior to your H must have all been married as well, but never told their wives about this OW.
She is not what could be called the "typical" OW. This one is definitely OUT FOR MONEY, ONLY MONEY.

She has filed false charges against you. You need to take back your reputation.
Letting this one "roll off your back" is basically telling the next couple that you could have done something, but didn't want to.

I hope you do what you can do to stop the chain of deception and extortion.

Stacia

A,

Well, I wouldn't necessarily look at it as seeking revenge, but doing what's right! This woman is doing things that are illegal! It's not "teaching her a lesson" either! It's abiding by the law! I think that you should file charges of false allegations, extortion, and slander! Yeah, your H had an A, but if what the PI has found is that she's NOT P and never was, and she tried to get money for a non-existant abortion that later turned into moving an eptopic P.....that's wrong, no matter what color she chooses to paint it!

Just think if some other man or his W had been able to sue her or have charges filed against her. Do you think that she would have continued with a record like that? I would take all the emails, all the info from the PI and find a lawyer who will help you, or even take it to the cops! It sounds, to me, as if you have a case against her, especially with her getting you "let go" from your job with false accusations!

Oh well, this story is very intriguing, and I've been watching for updates! I hope and pray that what the PI has found is true and you can teach this woman a lesson! And, heaven forbid, if she is truly P, DON'T PAY A PENNY TO HER TILL YOU HAVE THE DNA RESULTS!!!! I wouldn't put it past her to try to pawn off someone else's child just for the money, if what the PI has found is true!

Good luck!

Tigger

****edited for BAD spelling**** <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 09:02 AM: Message edited by: tigger4jdt ]</small>

I would seek the DA for criminal charges, and also file a civil suit.

SUE her sorry @$$ !!!!!! And do it now!!!!!

Don't let her go another day turning your life upside down. Get your attorney NOW and he can deal w/ her, he can have her give proof of pg and if true then DNA proof!

But it's all right in front of you---she's done this before----don't let another unwitting W & H become ANOTHER victim. You MUST press charges---it's the right thing to do.

Remember, we mentioned about another couple who the STOW tried to do the same thing, extort $$$$, claiming OC was H, even signing a legal affidavit that it was MM baby, nope nope nope she was full on lying and STOW had to pay all of MM legal bills PLUS some for everything else she put his family through.

This is not your fault--sue her and do it NOW, get that legal ball rolling and put her in her place. Imagine if she found one of your best friends H and did it again? How would you feel that you had the chance to stop her and you didn't.

Yes, your H made a choice and it was a bad one, that doesn't mean you allow someone else to get away w/ criminal activity.

GO FOR IT!!!!!!

This is terrific news. I am continuing to hope for the best. But what other proof do you need? Every one has told you this little "procedure" of hers is totally impossible and fake and now you ahve a PI telling you she has used this same 'MO' against other men. SUE her sister!

The only possibility is that she is just pg normally and is lying about the entire procedure thing and even then...DNA and she sounds like a nut job so w/ all that evidence maybe you 2 would have a good case to get FULL sole custody of alleged OC. That would stop her----she's sick and she needs help.

Keep us updated on this sordid soap opera.

This probably would make a good movie, fatal attraction type anyway.

how exciting for you--finally some good news for someone around here--wish I getting as much good news as you but not the less very good and I'm so excited for you.

not sure about criminal but at least it may be over soon--don't know if criminal charges is worth the effort if you main goal is just to get her to leave you lives so you can get you marriage back but criminal charges may prevent this from happening again to some other man.

Albany

I can't wait to see her face on "America's Most Wanted"
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ROTFLMBO @ Nerlycrzy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Loved it!!!!

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: Stacia_Lee ]</small>

While our FOW is a real piece of work, I must say yours has her beat.
After the pregnancy scam she pulled on Doc, her next victim ended up commiting suicide over her claim of yet another fake pregnancy, his shame of what he did to his wife and kids was to great.

Most likey your FOW will eventually hang herself as ours has done. In June she will go on trial for embezzelment from thier former place of employment. Doc most likely will have to testify and I certainly plan on being in the court room as she goes down in flames...( my turn to smirk)
Watching her cause her own undoing is certainly far better than any revenge I could have sought.

Hi. This is Arabesque's husband.

I have been monitoring the various posts that my wife has written and I appologize if it sounds like I'm correcting her. What our PI actually said was he could not find any suppoting evidence that the ow IS currently pregnant, but maintains that it is possible. He did, however find alot of evidence to indicate that she is lying. He did a comprehensive background check on her which included a check of civil, criminal, marriage, divorce records. A social security trace, neighborhood check, check of licenses, and credentials, address history, asset check, property taxes, Business involments, leisure time pursuits, daily activities, work history and interviews with persons who know or have know the her. I didnt have enough money at the time to pay him for continued survailence work. He called me ahead of his report because he thought I should know who and what we're dealing with. When I recieve his detailed written report and any supporting evidence, Arabesque amd I will decide how to proceed.

In the mean time, I'm here to say that I made a bad mistake. Thank the good lord for woman like Arabesque. She has and is continuing to give me every opportunity to fix things in our 18 year relationship. So far, so good. We just need to figure out how to LEGALLY get this other B@#ch out of our lives for good.

Some of you may think poorly of me right now. Just let me say that Im human. I was tempted by an illusion. And believe me, that's all this ow was. An illusion.

Anyway, counseling and legal advice are coming very very soon. The ow is continuing to harrass me via email. She has done some checking on me and states that she has my SSN. I know that she has it because she quoted it to me in an email message. What type of things can she do with it? I am still refusing to reply to any of her messages but she is making me nervous. I'm just not letting her know that.

Anyway, Ara will keep you posted as this situation further developes. Thank you all for the advice and support you have given her.

Kinther

Hi, Kinther,
I don't have to deal with an OC, and my H's OW (plural, I think) didn't get pregnant or harass me in any way. However, my heart goes out to all the BWs who are having to deal with this situation...I guess, because my H had unprotected sex only a short while after the loss of a 2nd stillborn daughter. I also had a number of miscarriages, and was unable to carry any more children to term. Thankfully, we do have two children who are now adults.

Anyway, due to all my pregnancy problems, I did a LOT of research. An ectopic pregnancy canNOT be moved to the uterus. An early abortion does NOT cost $10 grand, and there's no reason why she would have to fly 'way off somewhere to have one. I agree with the others; she's a con artist, and a stupid one, at that. If I were going to con someone, I'd at least use a scenario that is plausible, ya' know?

I'm so glad that you are working on your marriage to Arabesque. I wish my H were half as remorseful as you seem to be.

Now, about your SS number. Yeah, she can screw your life up with it. With the SSN and your birthdate, employer info, etc., she can do all kinds of damage. Check your credit reports, and keep on top of them. If you can, see if you can "code" it so no one but you can open a line of credit in your name. OW could use your SSN to get credit cards and open charge accounts. She could even file a false income tax return in your name in order to get a refund. Take steps NOW to stop her from committing fraud with your SSN! My son's ex-wife used his name and SSN to get Direct TV at her boyfriend's house (and didn't pay the bill); he only found out about it when he applied for a loan to build a house.

Also, I would strongly suggest that you and Arabesque have your attorney send her a letter to stop harassing you or you'll take legal action against her.

Lady Clueless

SSN!!!!!! BIG RED FLAG and another shovel for OW to dig her own grave!!!!!!

IDENTITY THEFT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> the damage that she can do w/ that is alot easier than trying to clean it up afterwards. I would get a hold of the SS office and report that right away. "They" take that kind of stuff very seriously now. Make sure your lawyer knows this. I would call every agency there is to report your concerns, the IRS, any credit card accounts you have, loans you have, your bank AND ask them what you should do.

Many times SSN are used as verification for acct.'s over the phone and for transaction purposes. This is very important and will work in your favor for your case, but you don't want to wait until your financial reputation is totally ruined to stop this. Prevent a greater mess from happening by reporting it NOW!

THIS IS VERY SERIOUS. Don't hesitate to make all those phone calls today.

And welcome to the board.

Well, I took the advice that a few of you have given me and called the ID Theft hotline and put an alert on his ss #. I also put an alert on mine and his SS # with one of the credit bureau reporting agencies. They'll share this alert with the other 2 agencies. In addition, I put an alert on my bank accounts.

I was also told to file a police report, which we will do tomorrow as soon as I can sort through all of the emails that we've received and find the ones which show that she is harassing/stalking us. Unfortunately, I didn't receive the private investigator's report today, but I'm hoping that I'll get it tomorrow.

It kind of feels good to actually be doing something about this. I've sat back and done absolutely nothing for almost 2 months (waiting to see if she's truly pregnant first), but I'm sorry....my patience is running thin these days. I just hope that I don't get too zealous and accidentally give her more ammo to use against us.

Originally, we were going to wait until after my pre-trial on the 18th (the abusive phone calls complaint) before we went ahead with any action, but at this point, I think that we need to start the ball rolling.

I hope that we can sit back over a cup of coffee and laugh at this someday.

Thanks for all of your great advice, I'll keep you posted.

Arabesque

Just a quick question....

I know the OW made a demand of $10,000 a couple months ago, but I never read anywhere what (if anything) you and your husband actually paid her. I read somewhere where your husband was going to give her half...did he ever do it?

Keep track of any money that has changed hands and for all the fees you paid to the PI, along with any related costs you've incurred and time taken away from work to call the SS office, credit bureaus...whatever...and be sure to document everything for court in case you can sue her for fraud and embezzlement.

I sure hope your husband never gave her $5,000 or $10,000.

Cat =^^=

No, Catnip....we have NEVER given her a penny.

Thank God for message boards such as this one, because when she first started her threats against my husband's job and whatnot if he didn't pay, we started doing alot of research. Originally, we had no clue of what/who we were dealing with, and now I feel that we're a little better prepared.

Yes, we still get a few emails, usually every other day. I hope that I'm correct in saying this, but judging by the content and tone of these emails, it looks as if she's either getting desperate, or very angry that my husband hasn't responded.

Here's a few points for all of you to laugh at:

In one Yahoo instant message, she tells my husband that she's set an appointment with her lawyer for Friday at 8:45 am for him to come and view her medical records, asking him to respond to tell her if he can make it.

Well, this is right in the middle of his workday, and on such short notice. Also, what is the lawyer's name and address/phone #?

She then sends my husband an email at 8:30 am on Friday, telling him that she's given him 2 chances to view her medical records and so far he hasn't shown up. Note the time of the email...she had sent this 15 minutes PRIOR to the supposed meeting time. I guess that she didn't wait around long enough to see if my husband would show up? LOL (sarcasm)

In the latest email, her brother tells us that she is going to put an ad in the local paper, telling everyone that my husband is the father of her baby and that he owes her money.

Oh, please....put that ad in the paper, so we can sue you for slander, ok???? A good friend of ours knows the editor and assured us that he definitely wouldn't accept an ad like that.

I guarded the mailbox like a vulture today, and so far, no report from the PI. By the time that the mail had been delivered, it was too late to go down to the post office and get a post office box. Yes, we are going to start having our mail held. I will do this on Monday.

As soon as I get this report, I've been directed by the Federal Trade Commission to file a police report. I'm sure they'll be interested to see all the emails trying to extort money from us, and the implied threats of physical harm. Not to mention the fact that she has my husband's social security number.

So, I spent the day watching Lifetime. They showed a couple of movies on infidelity and obsession. Oddly enough, it seemed to help me in forgetting the problems that I've been dealing with. It felt good to pretend that my life was normal, even if it was only for a day.

I'll let all of you know what happens after I get that report. Thanks for listening, yet again.

Bring copies of all the emails, especially the one where she has your SSN to the DA. File charges immediately. This is serious. Do it today.

This woman needs to be stopped. At this point in time, with her trying to extort $$ from you, and the SSN situation, you can demand to have her take a pregnancy test. IF she is not pregnant, sue her. Go for it.

You need legal representation immediately.

We received the PI's report yesterday and filed a police report.

The police officer is handling it as a "harassing phone calls" issue to get us started, at least. I spent the whole day yesterday printing out emails (with full headers) showing that she has his SS#, the attempts at extortion, the implied threats, including the ad in the newspaper, etc. Since we tend to receive alot of "blocked or private" phone calls, he gave us a report # to use when we call the phone company for a trace on these. I have each one documented on my calender.

Anyway, according the PI's report, yes...she has done this before. All 3 of her marriages have ended in divorce because of infidelity. She then uses a pregnancy scare/extortion tactic to get money. According to the people (including her 2nd husband AND his mother), she is very manipulative and tends to make up wild stories. The ectopic pregnancy that was aborted at first, then 3 weeks later it was moved into her uterus type of story....You get the picture, I'm sure.

There are still alot of questions unanswered in my eyes, unfortunately the PI didn't give as much information as I had hoped, but it's a start. Her daily emails have suddenly stopped, and it's making us nervous. Since she still talks to her 2nd ex-husband, I have a feeling that he may have told her that she was being investigated. ?? I hope that she doesn't take this form of harassment to another level.

The PI wasn't able to determine either way if she is indeed pregnant or not. So we will hope for the best, yet expect the worst, and assume that she is pregnant, until proven otherwise.

We have contacted a law firm and will wait to see what happens before we actually spend the money on suing her. We're going to let the police do some of the work and see what results they will have.

According to one of her emails from last week, she has a new man in her life. I don't know if it's true, or if she's just saying that, hoping that my husband will respond out of jealousy (she still thinks he cares about her). I just hope that we can prevent her from ruining his life as well. But...at least we're doing something about it finally.

oh this is sooo great! I just can't WAIT for this to all end for you.......in your favor of course!

Yes, let the police do the initial work and then you will need the attorney when you SUE her.

Keep us updated and don't forget to take time for you and H to relax w/ each other a little, you will need it w/ all this madness.

I just have a couple of questions or need an ear, of sorts, I guess?

Ok, the OW has ceased sending emails to us since April 30th. The last day that we've received any "blocked or private" phone calls was on Monday. My husband thinks that one of the people who the private investigator "interviewed" might have tipped her off, so that's why she's so quiet now. It's just odd now...after we called the police and had the phone company put a trace on these weird calls...everything stops.

I must be paranoid or something, because the "quietness" is bugging me!! It's as if you know something's out to get you, but you can't see it coming. I've always wished for NC, but now that I have it, it's making me nervous.

Either we have shown her that we won't be intimidated anymore and it has caused her to abandon her scheme of deception, or.....she's just biding her time until she can drop another bomb on us. I just can't seem to get myself to stop wondering/worrying about what's going on behind the scenes.

My husband tells me that I'm obsessed with her. Well, in a way, he's right. But, I was dragged into this situation by her need for revenge, and I just can't seem to let it go. I want a normal life again, but I'm having trouble getting the motivation to make it so.

We've been searching around for a local private investigator who can do some survelliance work. I guess I really need to be 100% positive that she is not pregnant, so that I can have closure. Perhaps that is the root of the problem....we simply don't know for sure yet. Yes, we can wait a month or so for her to say that she miscarried, or wait until October for her to say that she's given birth...but I have this burning desire to know NOW.

Maybe this is how she operates...she drives her former lover and his wife crazy by stringing them along and then at the last possible second says "fooled ya!!"

I realize that if she is indeed pregnant and it is my husband's, that I can't change a thing. It's this "not-knowing for sure" that's driving me nuts.

Does anyone have any ideas/advice on how I can regain my sanity, even if it's temporary????

Thanks for listening again.