JT2~

AD is the one for credit on let them chase you.

I always have a hard time doing that when he has left if as he did yesterday etc.--I get too sad and have a hard time--maybe I get too needy but I have to pull through it. I hope his Mom calls and I hope this all workd out--my love for H is so strong and I just with he would recipricate.

As AD says though he knows my love for him is so deep and that may be allowing all this fence sitting.

H called about something coming to our house for his work asked I would make sure to get it.

He seemed fine--I think you guys are all right--I just have to ignore him and go about my business--and as my friend points out the only time he says he is done or acts done is if he feels threatened or backed into a corner.

I tried his mom and we talked for a few seconds and then she had to go because she was trying to drive and had a cop behind her and two grandkids and H's brother with her--they had just left the airport in Boise.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to dinner with a girlfriend from work and then we are going to see Troy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That might be more yummy then dinner and drinks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Love to here from you guys and I will be on later.

Hey girls - you had a busy day.

I just wanted to update you a little. I am going to have a stepdaughter. Isn't that grand!!

H and I actually had a good talk tonight and everything was laid back. He said there was no hand holding or closeness at US - he basically stood back in shadows and watched. OW's sister was there also. He said they talked a little - mainly small talk about work. Says OW is keeping her distance (until he is a free man) - too bad she didn't do that 6 months ago!! I didn't get angry at all - I just let H talk and wanted to see his reaction to everything. I calmly explained to him that my main concern was being with OW and him decided things without considering my feelings. If we are going to survive this we have to work together. I understood why he wanted to be there, but he needed to understand why he shouldn't be there. I think he is still confused about the whole thing, but I am still hopeful for us. He asked if I had any questions. I just asked if everyone was healthy and what the due date is - 9/26.

I did ask if OW's new boyfriend was there (in a non LB way). I don't think that H liked that too well - we both know that she is just trying to manipulate him into leaving M. I asked why he would want to be with someone like that - got the typical I don't know. We talked some about how she used one of his friends to get this whole A started. H says she did it to see how he reacted and to see where things led. He said he thinks that she does have feelings for him. I said that I wouldn't call it love if she was encouraging him to break up M and hurt BC (non LB way). I said if she really loved him she would never have hurt him and family like this. Says another friend has pointed that out to him also. He was willing to talk about it - so I gave him my honest opinions. It was a very relaxed, nice conversation.

I of course had to do a little bit of flirting. Told him he should take me out on a date Sat. He asked why - I said because you love me. He just laughed and rolled his eyes. Says he doesn't understand why I am still around and want to be with him.

H says he still thinks of a life with OW at times. Says he thinks of coming home too. He is just not sure how everyone will handle OC issue. That is something we will face together. I really think he is slowly coming around. I asked if he was planning on being at delivery - he said only if he was not living at home at time. I said I had a few months to convince him this is where he belongs.

Overall, not a bad evening. I wasn't really sure how I would handle the whole US thing. I had alot of time to think at work today. I just basically concluded there was a reason he had to be there. I can't control what he does, so I am not going to let myself get overly emotional about it. God works in mysterious ways - this was all part of his plan. Strangely, I felt very close to H tonight.

Just wanted to share a quick devotion I read on my email.

**************************************************
Waiting for the Lord

May 20, 2004

"My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word."

- Psalm 119:81

Patience in trouble is excruciating. It just is. The Psalmist gives poetic voice ... "my soul faints with longing" ... to a life experience that is just hard and agonizing and bad and ugly. "To endure" sometimes seems beyond endurance.

But that is the time when faith is born. That is the time when we are refined, as Scripture says, like precious metal being purified in the crucible. The challenge to remain faithful strengthens faith ... if we don't lose hope. "What Scripture says" is a saving grace in these times. Scripture reminds us of God's love and of God's faithfulness to us.

God's Word is about God keeping God's word ... to love us inspite of ourselves, to forgive us completely, to love us unconditionally. This is how the Word can sustain us and "feed us", at times when we are starving, when things are beyond enduring. With faith and hope, salvation is assured. "Thus sayeth the Lord."

**************************************************

Good job Krism! Keep up the good work, relaxed attitude & of course the flirting.

Yah, it's painful that OC are around birthday's & such. My b-day was hard this year since it was around that time OW got pg & yet H was buying me a new diamond ring declaring his LOVE for me @ the same time!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> whatever! Soooooo glad I'm past that! PTL!!!!!!! Mother's Day was very, very nice.

Albany, even B4 you mentioned the other boy your H gave up, I was thinking, OW is due just next month. H has to @ least starting to feel anxious. Realistically, it could be any day now. I'd be so agitated in a nervous way.

jt2, happy happy birthday. It's my brother's b-day today too. He's paintballing right now. NOW that would be a good stress reliever or a way to get all that rage/anger/frustration out for you ladies! hanh? what do you think about that? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Have a good night.

Just relax.

KrisM~

So happy for you--I was once where you were--H and I had pleasant conversations and all that and he did a ton of I don't why you are staying and then I kept pushing on him in January and telling him we to decided some things and tell my parent because this OW (girl) was the new stepdaughter of one of my Dad's boss's and ex-boss of my H and I was really concerned about my Dad finding out not from us and I just sent him packing with all of my pushing and over-demanding behaviour.

So my point is good to not LB and good to listen--I didn't listen well and that was bad.

So you see guys, I really blame myself for him leaving the second time--I thought I had him after him saying he would never leave us even though she was pregnant--so don't push to hard to because they tend to take flight and not fight when it gets to be too much.

Proud of you KrisM.

Have you ever noticed that we all do not have good days at the same time--I wish I could wave the magic wand and make better for all of us.

I will also tell you that I learned so much since January and I owe it to this site but I fear that it is too late and that I really should move on and have lost my H--I know he hasn't told parents or anything but I feel I have lost him and the connection and warmth we had yesterday morning before and right after SF was what we use to have and I hadn't seen it since early January and don't think I will be seeing it again--I'm caving and just can't keep going.

Also KrisM, don't get me wrong don't be a door mat but let him talk and kind of lead the conversations.

Let me say thanks for allowing me to join in. It's taking me a little while to get up to speed with everyone.

JT2 - Happy Birthday. I hope your evening went well.

KimM- It sounds like you conversation went very well with you H. I hope that slowly he comes around.

Albany- I really did not think anything negative about you H's younger years. I figure, unfort. these things happen when we are young. I do however, think it's interesting that he found himself in the same sit. later in life. The big difference is that when you are young and you walk away, people kind of accept it. However, as an adult you are expected to me more responsible and the stakes are much higher as he has a wife and son. He really needs to be responsible to his family, as they all do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

KT-you inspire me so much. I think you sit. and how you handle it is amazing.

H and I hardly spoke again last night. He was out working on his Jeep till about midnight. I am a little numb over everything. I have meetings today at work and I hope that takes my mind off all of this for awhile. Then it's the weekend and H is going to see his family in another state. I will be alone with the kids and I am so looking forward to it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Too bad the weather is going to stink. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hey guys I won't get chance to post until this afternoon PST. I have a first aid/CPR class at my work and won't be back at my desk until around 2:00pm.

I just keep assuming that since I haven't heard from his mom that nothing has changed and he hasn't told them yet. As you his mom thinks and my friend thinks he wasn't going to, but we have today left with him over there at his parents and tomorrow--his flight leave tomorrow at 4:30pm.

Really scared you guys and truly hope he doesn't tell them--can't wait to call his Mom tomorrow after he is gone so that I know what has been said.

What is everyone's thought's for how I should handle him tomorrow when he comes home with our son--should I make dinner for them or just send H promptly on his way if he is done and all that??? Maybe it depends on what I find out from his Mom.

Hi all,

I had a really good time last night. Birthday was great went out with a girlfriend to dinner. We had a blast. Picked up kids and went home. H called several times that evening to say hey birthday girl! Wonder what's up with that. H came home with dinner for the kids - I told him i had gone out with the girls.

H was glad to come in with the food and gifts. H gave our son the gift from the kids to give to me. He then had a beautiful card for me. I got a tiffany bracelet from the kids and a pair of shoes from him.

Can you beleive that. I still find myself on the defensive though. I remember I got an excellent gift last year for my birthday and he was only a month into his affair so what does that really say about our relationship?

I feel that I am only getting nowhere with him. Why should I be the one to have to suffer? Is he really sorry. He called me this morning all excited about the time he spent with son last night. H misses him and he sees him growing up without him or right in front of him and he's missing that. All Of IT!!

I want to tell him that I can not go on like this anymore. I was thinking about letting my attorney send him a letter of intent to see what he does then. If he does what I expect then we need to move on.

I think he is to confused. I don't know what he is?

Hey everyone !!!! I had to catch up. Whew, ya'll do alot of writing at night. I don't have time to get on at night. I think about everyone here everyday. And pray for you all. Everyhting is quiet in my neck of woods, it feels so good to have quiet. Planning a great weekend for Memorial day. About 11 kids and 8 adults, where am i going to put all of these people? All but 3 are teenages and they want to camp out, yea, sure. My H freaks when the teens come, he so funny. We got to watch them ect, I guess he remembers what he did. LOL I hope everyone has a good weekend and god be w/ each of you.
As KT saids "fake it til you make it"
Sunny <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Nothing new here. H's mom hasn't called me and she promised she would if he said he was done to them. SO I told her if I didn't hear from her I would take that as a good sign.

LMF~the dance of intimacy is exactly what happens between my H and I. I pull away, do my own thing, do not call, etc.--then he reaches out and grabs for me but the minute I respond to easily and he feels he has me back then he pushes himself away and then I try to pull him.

I have decided this time I have to stay away bit and stay on the wagon so he has to keep chasing me.

Off to the movies tonight with a girlfriend and I don't about answering phone call from H if he calls late tonight.

Hope you all have good nights--talk to you all tomorrow.

Let me know what you think about H making OC child mistake again--years later.

Albany - I hope you have fun and enjoy yourself with your girlfriends. Best of luck when H returns tomorrow.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What is everyone's thought's for how I should handle him tomorrow when he comes home with our son--should I make dinner for them or just send H promptly on his way if he is done and all that??? Maybe it depends on what I find out from his Mom </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do whatever comes naturally (except anger). If you want to have dinner ready for him - go for it. But if he decides not to stay, be careful not to get angry. Just act like it is no big deal. Don't ask if he told parents. Just let him bring it up if he wants to talk about it - don't force the issue. Be the best you, you can be - no angry outbursts, etc. Have fun with your son.

What exactly does his parents know? Do they know about OW and not OC? Or do they not even know about OW? Sorry I forget. If they don't know, why not tell them? Sounds like you and his mom get along well - she could be a good source of help to you. Even if the A is over, exposure of it will help your H face what he has done. He can't hide from it. If people know, then he would be forced to deal with it.

Good Luck to you.

The movie was excellent and I had a great time.

KrisM~His parents know all of it because I told them. Maybe not my place but his mom was very supportive of me when H and I were not living together and he was with this girl(yes, girl 20 at the time)so I panicked when I found out she was pregnant and I told his parents looking for advice. THey have known but I made them promise to say anything--I wanted him to tell them on his own.

Last night was awful. He called me after the movie and I didn't answer--I finally did and he was out with his sister and her boyfriend and I could tell thay had been drinking and it pissed me off so I got angyr and LBed. I know this was very wrong. I asked him if he was out whoring around--well that was the start of it and he told me it didn't matter if he was that he was done and I asked if he told his family and he said yes. He then preceded to tell me I was a B*&#? and that at least he wasn't hiding it like I was and just kept going. I have lost all respect for his sister--I could hear her telling him to hang up and then I asked him why he was being like this and he says because that is the only thing I understand. I told him I didn't have the affair and another child so look at himself and he sai well if I had been getting what I wanted at home I wouldn't gone looking elsewhere and then you could hear them laughing and joking about his comment in the background.

At that point I just hung up the phone--I don't have to take that. Yes, H and I were having bedroom issue--I had a horrible delivery and a ton of scar tissue and a bladder that had drop because the muscles got whacked from all the pushing. I tried to explain these things but he didn't get it and I guess he took it all personally and I was sleeping on the couch because he was such a bed hog and snoring so bad. He probably felt rejected but it was not him--it was me and I tried to tell him that. I also was very insecure of my body and weight. Before I was pregnant I weighed 115 and at the end of my pregnancy I weighed about 149. Right after having our son I got down to 135 but man I couldn't get the rest to come off and my poor little stomach was so stretched out--so I didn't even want him to see me naked.

So after the phone call at 11:45 I tried to go to sleep and at about 3:30am the phone rings at my house and I looked and it was him--after him calling two times I finally answered on the third phone call. Still don't know why he called he was fairly nice and asked how the movie was. I said how did you know that I went to a movie and he said when he couldn't get a hold of me last night he called my parents and my Dad said I had gone to the movies. You see he couldn't stand not knowing what I was doing. I told him I love you but how you treated me on the phone was horrible in front of your sister and that he was not the same person who left on Wednesday morning nor was he the individual from Wednesday that actuelly seemed happy to see me and cared. He asked me who I went with and why I hadn't answered the phone when he just called and I said it didn't matter and I wasn't going to explain myself. He then said so you had a date how was it?? I said if I had a date would be sitting here telling you I love you and care but what did earlier is not okay. That shut him up.

We then got off the phone. I talked to him around 11:00am today and he was an [censored]--wouldn't talk to me told me he didn't miss me, didn't love me and was going to start the divorce papers and probably move over there. I said you are running and that's fine I said I just want to know where the person from Wednesday went. He hung up on me and when I tried to call him back he was an [censored] and hung on me several times and told me to get the hint he didn't care about me. I left it at that.

I just talked to his Mom and told all about last night--she was not impressed and she said he hasn't told her or his Dad and he hasn't said anything about moving to there.

I talked to H and they were boarding the plane before I got online to here. I said I would make dinner and I asked if he was staying and he said he didn't know and then he said don't count on it. That's fine.

I have written him a letter and it basically says I have done what I can and shown my love and I have shown you that I would stand beside you in this situation and I explained to him how I truly believed him and trusted him in Dec. 2003 when I was laying on the couch one night before x-mas a few days and crying and he said to me crying he was sorry and that he would never leave me or my son and we would get through this together. I looked deep into eyes you guys and it was real--just don't know what changed.

I told him that I had signed the D papers before and it was he who hadn't and couldn't bring himself to. I told him that I never forced him to move back when he did and that I was letting him go because my love was so great for him that I'm setting him free and if it is meant to be he will come back but I've done what I could that I had forgiven him on that night in Dec. and what I have forgiven him for his not sticking to that and lying to me that night.

I honestly forgave him that night and made up my mind that we would stand together on this in C or NC with child. I have never felt so betrayed though until he lied to me that night--he moved home and gave me a glimpse of what we could have and then he took it away because he is too weak to stand up and face this--I have not forgiven him for that.

He left all his work clothes and keys at our house and I have washed them and I have them in sack waiting for him and in that sack I will put the 4 page letter for him. Basically I plan to get our son's stuff from him and then give him the bag and send him on his way--I need a lot of space from him right now--I need to save what love I have for him right now--he really damaged that last night and I don't know if I can even look at him tonight--I see a monster right now.

I think that tomorrow I may tell my parents a bit about what is going on.

This isn't what I want but I can't go on like this and he is just hurting me--I really fell very used after Wednesday and SF--i fell cheap and I feel that he has no respect for me.

I talked to his mom a little earlier and he has not told them anything--maybe I already said that but anyway I need space and time to heal, cool off, and time for the love to heal.

Doesn't care about me but calls my parents to find out where I'M at--yah right--why can't they just admit it???

Albany - So sorry H hurt you yet again. He has no right to talk to you that way. I think our Hs are too proud to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them. That would be alot of hard work to rebuild what they have destroyed by their selfish behavior. Its easier to walk away.

I think it might be time for Plan b. You have been hurt enough. If this continues, you will lose all love for your H. The letter you are giving him, is it a plan B letter? Have you made arrangements for your child so you don't have to have C w/ H? Its time to make these arrangements and step back from all this. You cannot continue to let this man abuse you like this - and that is exactly what it is. You deserve better!! Until he is willing to be the man to give you what you deserve - it is time to step away.

I will keep praying that you find the peace you deserve in life. It is just not happening with your H right now. Live life for you and BC. Hopefully, H will come to senses when he sees you will survive just fine without him.

Good luck to you.

Hey girls - Hope you had a good weekend.

I spent Sat. w/ H and it was wonderful. My DS had a baseball game and then the grandparents took the kids for all night. I then went to watch H at softball tournament. I keep trying to be supportive of his interests - kind of hard at times when I think these interests take him away from family too much - but I am trying. Anyway, after the tournament was over, we went back to his apartment. We rented a movie and had dinner. One thing led to another, and wow what a night. I have not felt that close to H in a long time and it was great!! Makes me wonder what is keeping him away.

However, I called him today. Seemed distant again. It is just so confusing. Every time I think we are growing closer, he steps back. I guess we will see what tomorrow brings.

Something else happened today that was interesting. One of H coworkers stopped by the house asking if he could get ride from H one night this week. I told him I would relay the message and he started to leave. I waved him down as he was leaving and told him H and I were separated and that maybe he should call H's cell. Turns out that he was recently divorced. We talked alot about what he went through with XW and he told me to work it out if at all possible. It was just amazing everything we had in common other than A's of spouses. He was very kind and told me if I ever needed to talk to let him know. He even recommended Harley's books - unfortunately didn't work for him. After he left, I just kept thinking I wish H could be more like him. He goes to Church, his kids are a priority, he is just a really great guy (figured that out in less then 1/2 hour). Then I stepped back and thought I really understand how A's can start. I felt such a connection to him. I can see where innocent things can lead to so much more. It takes a really strong person to resist the temptations that lead to A's.

I am rambling. Not sure if I have a point - maybe just that I can understand how it could happen.

Talk to you all later.

albany~

Listen to what Kris says. If the letter you wrote him isn't a Plan B letter, you are asking for more of the same treatment. I don't know what all you included in the letter, but from the sounds of it, it's not a PBL. First of all, 4 pages is waaaaaaaaay too long. It needs to be concise and to the point. After the first paragraph or two, (if he even reads anymore than that), it will read like, "wah, wah, wah...". Plus there are certain things a Plan B letter must contain. I believe it should fit on one page, too. We can help you with the outline.

You didn't say you have a Plan B plan in place so I'm guessing you're not really going to Plan B. Remember, you have to have a plan and a third party for him to contact, such as your folks. Plan B is serious stuff, albany. It's NC, NC, NC!!!! If you're not serious about "sending him packing", DON'T DO IT till you ARE ready! Anything short of a true Plan B won't serve a purpose other then continuing the cycle the two of you have been in.

You need to tell your parents what's going on... NOW. You need a support system.

Call his bluff, albany, and do a REAL Plan B. It's time.

By the way...I think his sister is disgusting. I'm giving her a slight benefit of the doubt by guessing she was drunk out of her mind.

Take good care.

~ad

Oh Albany,

I have to agree with Kris & AD, it is time to Plan B, of course only you know if your are ready, but how long will you allow him to put you thru these changes??????

First of all I see no reason whatsoever for him to call you late at nite - drunk why?? Only to see if you'd answer & to then piss you off & make fun of you. You should not allow him to treat you this way any longer.

Maybe this will be his wake up call & you are the only one who can give it to him.

Be strong.

Hey Girls,

Well it looks like the weekend has been a busy time for all of you.

Albany, please make sure that you are ready to make the move to plan b. It sounds like you are to emotionally involved right now. You should probably take a few days to think about it. I personally think you maybe a little to needy right now for his approval and desire to be his wife. Not to sound harsh, but you need to probably focus on you and not so much him. He is pushing away because you are expecting too much from him right now.

Not that I am an ecpert nor am I guilt free of all of this but I think this might pertain to you as well. Let him do whatever and you do the same . Focus on you and the kids right now. Let him do his own thing.

Think about it technically no matter how much you complain he is doing his own thing right now and you have no control over it. So let him continue you just don't need to play such a big role in it.

You need to step back for your sanity.

Actually everything I am telling you is what I have come to the conclusion in doing myself - Today!!

I am living for me from now on he can do what he wants. I am not going to ask him to come over, spend anytime with me, nothing. i feel like I need to be free and I am seeing that might entail being without him. Suppose we are just not meant to be. this is a thought!!

Hold your head up and move on and see for sure if he wants to be on board - if he does he'll jump on before the ship leaves the port if not you'll know for sure.

I'm going to try it I have no other choice - maybe you should to.

Remember this is just a thought.

JT

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 12:23 PM: Message edited by: JT2 ]</small>

Albany & BBG93 (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
to both of you sorry things aren't working very good right now. Like everyone else has said make sure you are ready. Its going to hard not to contact the one you love so much. Please sit back and pray about everything before you do it. And do make the letter short to the point and cut it. You don't want to seem too needey and make him feel sorry for you. I fact he should feel sorry for himself. He is about to lose the BEST thing that will ever happen to him!!! Some men. Also be open when they might want to come back. Trust me I tried the N/C and it drove him crazy. I would have someone at my home when he p/u daughter and didn't want to see him. I would have 40-100 calls, cell, home, office, god I thought I was going crazy !! He drove by the house. I would park the car in the garage and he didn't know if I was home or not. Kept the lights down and just sat back. Yes I missed him, Yes I cried, Yes I hurt. you need to get your support from your family, and close friends. Be careful about family, don't put him and say you'll never get back w/ him. My family freaked when I let H come back home and our relationship is forever changed. I wish you both luck and as always you are in my prayers.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny

okay the quick version update.

He says he is done & we talked about splitting things up. Where my dad works and H use to work they all know OW is pregnant who is now step-daughter to one of the brothers int he family business. I talked to my dad yesterday morning and he has known for 2 months and was waiting to see if H was man enough to tell me--my dad didn't know I knew.

It sounds like the OW and her mom are planning to try get everything they can from H--my dad has heard this via the other brother who he works closely with/for. My Dad now is pissed that H hasn't lived at home since end Jan. because he thought H was actually doing the right thing and staying.

I told my dad it was great until he told me about her being pregnant and then day by day he changed and mainly he changed when he realized that their was no alternative but her having it and that in my opinion he was running. My dad and I both wonder why he even came back--because when he came back he knew she was pregnant and I said I can't figure it out--why come back and leave again. We have decided not to say anything to my mom who thinks things are great and won't forgive him for leaving this time. My dad's advice is if I think that their is possibility of it working and me wanting it too then we leave my mom out of it for the time being.

I told my H that everyone knew at his former work and that my DAD has known for 2 months--he was shocked--I think half the reason he wanted to be done is that he was afraid to face my parents--he asked what my dad thought and I told him he isn't thrilled but thought you(H) were here for the long haul to make it work and is not to impressed that he has left again. H wanted to make sure that I told my Dad that he H told me a long time ago in November and I said I told my DAD that I have known since Dec. 11 the day after we went and got x-mas trees. SO why did H care that my Dad know he told me awhile ago--guess he doesn't want him mad at him.

H seems a little shocked that I have talked to my dad. I told him that frankly I began losing him the day he had to tell me and really knew I was losing him when she definetly keeping the child. He said well we had problems before and I said we did and we were working on them and no one forced you to move home or to tell IC and MC that you were happy and that this was what you wanted (that was before I knew about OW being pregnant) and he was asked outright by MC if he wanted to continue.

Anyway I told him I would stand beside him in this so he had better think for one of last times about this D he wanted--also I was looking to legal sep. and CS so that I got what our son needed before all h*** broke lose when the other child was born. I said what matters is to protect my son--he was a bit startled by this and calmness to and straightforwardness with all that. By the way I checked with the state and all children has equal rights to CS and it doesn't matter who files first etc.

I have told him don't want to see him right now. Saturday he tried to a hang out after son went to bed and I told hime he needed to leave that shocked him. I think I'm going out of town for the long weekend--H said he would take care of the dogs.

Interesting that he's going to think some more about it--I told when I'm gone and D from you--you can't call and tell me about your life.

When he calls I tell him I don't want to talk he won't deal well with a PB I can tell. I don't think that he will do well with me being gone over long weekend--oh well.

I really think he thought it would be over with my parents when they knew--I honestly think that he was scared for them to know.

I told my Dad that I wasn't sure if I was done or not yet.

Okay so it was suppose to be brief but it wasn't-sorry.

I think he needs to realize that he does love me and that I'm the best thing that has every happened to him. I think he was amazed that I told him about what was happening and that we were worried for him--my dad and I.