Genia,

I know it would help us, right now even if he would go to IC it would help him. He has no true friends so he talks to his Mummy who means US no good. We went to one session together with one of our pastors& he didn't want to go back, only went then cuz he needed to drive my car, so it wasn't for the right reasons to begin with.

Looking back I see where I did a lot of damage to his ego & hurt him in many ways that I just didn't see at the time, not to excuse in anyway what he did, that is where communication comes in & we had the best communication ever while we were separated. Now it is too much like work for him it seems or there is the fear or my reaction to what he says to me, but he has to get over that.

I hope that counseling will work for you guys, it is great that he is willing to go.

Hi Babygirl,

I got to go till tommorrow. Mine is going for the wrong reason too. He wants to prove me wrong. I am gonna keep my mouth shut and hope it goes well. I hope you can figure out how to bring him out of his shell.

<small>[ June 23, 2004, 08:10 AM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

bBYG,

I haave not been able to be there for anyone right now but wanted you to know that I appreciate everything that oyu tell me and need to you keep me on my P's dn Q's. I am so sorry if your H is ot doing what he chould to help you out with this situation. But remember I am here for you just can't really help right now cause I am so disfunctional and I apprear to be dillusional if I think my M can survive this.

JT

JT,

Thanks for your support, I know it is there even if you don't post directly to me.

I am more concerned about you, I am a big girl, w/ a grown son, I only really have me to worry about but you have those precious little ones that YOU have to take care of & be strong for & keeping your M together for them as well if at all possible is extremely important. I know you aren't ready to give up or you wouldn't be here on this site talking to us. And I am always here to support you too.

As for my house H & I are not talking again, what else is new. It seems as if I go to church & get new insight & inspiration to continue to fight for my M but then it fades away just as quickly when the reality of what I deal w/ here w/ him slaps me in the face once I am at home. Maybe I should stop going to church????? -- Just kidding.
I am just so tired of trying & I can't seem to sit still & let God move. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Me TOO!!

Hugs

Genia,

Thanks for the hugs, they are much appreciated.

H & I had a big blow out last nite, both LB'd big time mostly about old stuff.

I told him he had 3 weeks, & reminded him that DDay anniversary is 7/14. Didn't tell him what was gonna happen in 3 weeks, but he knew it was an ultimatum. He says I will never let him forget the A, well duh if u tried to make up for the damage u have done maybe I would! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I had a dream this morning that he was packing to leave & I was sad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Don't think so.

So he left w/o saying goodbye this morning, I am going out tonite & tomorrow, so he will be plenty pissed off when he comes in tonite & I am gone! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Oh well, all I can say is he better start running cuz this train is about to leave the station & once it is gone, it ain't a coming back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Baby - hugs from me, too! I hope you have a grand time tonight!

- Kimmy

I'm sorry BBYG big ((((HUGS))))--you won't forget it because he isn't moving on with your M--DUH! They are secondary to woman--they soemtimes don't have clue. He is making me mad right now for you.

Keep haning in there until the date in July--you will know you have done everything possible then.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> you won't forget it because he isn't moving on with your M--DUH! They are secondary to woman--they soemtimes don't have clue. He is making me mad right now for you.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I said it before most r dumb animals, he surely is. That seems to be common from what I have read around here about some WS's they seem to have this "let's just forget about it & it will go away, why do u want to talk about it all the time" attitude. I bet they wish they could forget, but they can't either.

I feel like this -- u brought this on yourself & u expect me to deal w/ it so u have to deal w/ it also. If it is 2 much for u, then u need to get 2 stepping.

2 tired of the games.

BBG got your email. I had to work today, man I hate that when it happens. Well no lunch today and I'm going out of town again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Oh and my D will be gone all next week for church camp. Oh a whole week by ourselves, what will we do? I'm going to need to go on vacation after a week alone w/ hubby! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Its a good thing I can't get pg! Have a good time tonight! And enjoy yourself!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hey Sunny,

I am at home today, on & off the puter.
Didn't make it all last nite, may not tonite either, the weather is lousy here.

Going to dinner w/ my best friend, who is having man trouble, we will have a great time & go out later tonite.

H is still not talking to me, I am not upset about it, he misplaced his keys I guess, got the spare ones & still didn't lock the door! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He is really pushing me.

Hi Babygirl,

I lovebusted too this weekend. Too much built up in me. Trying to be nice, hiding my feelings too long. I hit and pushed him. Told him to get out of my house and never come back. Anyhow I felt bad and called him right back home. He suggested SF. I said I am gonna make you woo me. I hope you had a fun night out.

<small>[ June 28, 2004, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

BBYG,

How are you? I am doing alittle better. I had a refreshing time this weekend without my problems following me. I needed this mental break. I hope your hubby comes around soon. You might be about to crack! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hold on and keep praying and like you told me once just focus on you and keep praying. You can not change him or bring him around you can only concentrate on you. I will try to do the same even though it is easier said than done.

Keep the faith - and I did start doing my daily devotionals - my spirit needed uplifting and you gave me the vision to do it! So you do the same for yourself!!

Love ya,

JT

Hey Ladies,

My weekend was ok, hung out w/ my girlfriends mostly. H & I had another pow wow yesterday, don't know if I can make it til 7/14/04 w/ him in the house. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I tried to throw him out of the bdrm. yesterday of course he refuses to leave he wants SF really bad, it has been a whole month. I want it too, just cuz I have needs too, but Genia I feel like you I want him to woo me, in & out of bed. H really tried to talk to me last nite but I didn't want to talk & I knew it was only cuz he is "in need". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> What he was talking about wasn't relavant anyway, just telling me I am the only woman he wants, he has a funny way of showing it though.

I prayed & cried so hard in church & when I got home yesterday & asked God for a release from this constant pain, even if that meant separation, if he would take the love out of my heart that I feel for H I could put him out now, but he won't or hasn't yet for what reason I don't know???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I don't even think I will post much anymore about my situation since it is always negative & it looks like my M is not gonna make it. I will still be around to see what is going on w/ you ladies, you do all mean so much to me, and I am praying for you all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Babygirl,

I will keep you in my prayers. Maybe you two will make it. Who knows. My situation seems pretty hopeless at times too. It is a good thing we are putting a deadline on it.

Genia,

That is just it, my so called deadline is looking like a joke. I can't put him out today what will make me do it by 7/14 if nothing changes, which I doubt? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Everytime I go to church I get filled w/ inspiration & I don't hear the Lord telling me to give up yet, but the pain is so great I am just feeling lost right now. In some ways I want to find something out or for him to do something that would just be the last & final straw & have it give me the strength to just do it.

Hi Babygirl,

I am weak too. I kicked husband out like I said and called him back 10 minutes later. My daughter has grown attached to my WH. They have a lot in common in the way they deal with life. She thought I was wrong. She actually felt sorry for husband. I was crying for about 30 minutes. Nobody comforted me or cared. I heard him confiding in her that I blow everything out of porportion. I went off on him and kicked him out. Maybe it should be time limit/Things we cannot accept. Mine is that I need to feel loved and respected. Also I will not accept him spending the night away from home. Maybe you just need to identify things you cannot accept from him and tell him that if he crosses those lines then you will not be able to live with him. Don't fall in the trap of feeling sorry for him. He made his bed if you know what I mean. If he wants you bad enough he should change for you and if he can't maybe you should move on.

BBYG,

Don't stop posting. you need us just as much as we need you. Go back and reflect on the things you have said to all of us and know within yourself tht you will know when the time is right for you to let it go. God will not fail you is what you always say - so hey take your own advice and hang on in there. "Even though the storms of life keep on raging and sometimes it hard to tell the night from day - The hope that lies within wil reassure - and to keep my eyes upon the distant shore - I know he'll lead me safely to that blessed place he has prepared!"

That is an exerpt from a song that i like to think about to inspire me. God has a special place for you and you alone. So don't forfeit that place by not "waiting on the Lord!"

I am on a role today girl you better watch out I don't know what i'll think of next! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

JT

BBG93
I don't post much, but I visit often just to see what is going on. I have been following your post on a regular basis. I know we all have similiar situations, but our are very close. H and I have 5b, I had my tubes tides after 5b(nov.99. H didn't want me to do it, but I did not want any children at the time. Less then a year of getting my tubes tied, H was wheeling to pay $12,000 to have then untied to have another c -a girl. Well after awhile H stop asking me. I found out about OC when she(girl) 6 weeks old. Counting back H stop asking me to get my untied when he found out ow was having a d. I am a christian wife and I pray and pray and find so much compfort in my praise and worship service in my car on the way to work. oc is 2.5 and comes around from time to time. everytime ow takes him for more cs he gets and exercised his visituation. I am getting so tried of this on and off again because it is disruptive to our children. I envy that fact that you can make a clean break and not have deal with H or oc if god see fit. H is going through a really rough time ow is going to get $1,100 cs and day care. H is taking meds to shrink his postrate. His corporation my be sued. God is dealing with him, so his sins. Sometimes GOD puts things on us to humble us, but it takes some time for us to see that. I wish you the best and pray that GOD will guild you foot steps. It took this for husband to see that I was a good wife and well as a good person. I have been there for him(not always silent)we have had our battles. OW has done everything she could do to tear us apart, but it only brings us closer together. II took h about 1.5 to see ow for what is is. when she saw she was just his baby momma, the real person came out. I have always prayed on this matter, but not just to save my marriage, but to guild me to his will--if his will is for this marriage to work, then it WILL, if not he will move me.