hi all...it has been a long time snce I have posted. About a month ago a poster that I don't know from Scarleta sent my xMM a letter referring him to Gloryb and to my posts. She knew my name, I was outed by them years ago, and looked up my court case on-line, and got his name. Well the fall out was he called me, after ten months of NC. He treatened to press charges against me for saying bad things about him on the board. Lectured me endlessly about how I had put him at risk etc. Could not get passed my anger over the situation (in my posts). During the call he offered a settlement, which I agreed to. He asked that I have my atty draw it up, which I did, and had it sent to his atty.

Well, I got a letter from him yesterday, basically saying he had changed his mind and that because I post on an internet board about the affair, he would not support his child other than very minimally.

I guess the feedback I am looking for is this...why would what I vent/write have any bearing or a CS case? I don't mean in court. Would it bother you to know your OW had a place like this one to post her crap. In the letter, he slammed me for dating, made a big issue out of it. He has read every post I have made over the last few years. I know it is a public board and I ran that risk when posting...but how would youfeel if you knew that your OW was reading everything you wrote here, and then because of it, got revenge on the OC. It just doesn't make sense to me. After almost a year of NC, why does he care that I am dating, trying to move on...working on my career (another slam). Isn't that what we are all supposed to be doing? I leave them alone, other than a CS case, which I have never attended in person. Why can't they leave me alone. Why id it necessary to take my board away from me too...my one place where I can say whatever. He actually wrote that he wont give me the settlement because I might go live with a guy that I have been seeing!! So what? Why does that matter...he doesn't want contact with the OC.

I don't get it.

Seems to me it wouldn't have any bearing on your case. He will have to pay what the state makes him pay. Did you use his name? If you did it may be considered slander. But if you didn't then I don't see where they could do anything about what you write to your "support" group. Kinda like free counciling? Don't you think? And yes these are public boards and TMI can put you at risk of someone knowing who you are. He cant control your cs. That is yours to take care of your child with. So he would have to just dream on. Unless you are freely wasting it on other things besides the child. I'm sorry for the pain you are going though and glad that you are getting on w/ your life w/ your child. XMM has his own issues and he can say what he wants, but he has to prove it also. If you have used his name then I would talk to the attorney and see where you stand. If he's just being threatning afaid of someone else knowing his business, well he should have thought of that before he had an A. Good luck w/ getting on w/ your life and this is an event in your life not your life. Don't let it be your life. Get the papers get the support and go on!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

I never used his name, I post there like I would post here. BUT a couple of years ago some person outed me on TOW and they have had my name ever since...from there it was easy.

Aparantly he showed a whole bunch of people in his life my posts and now they have rallied around him with support. Well good for him I guess, although it seems odd that my posts talking about my court case would garner him support. Whatever gets him though the day...

I just want all this settled and to move on. I see now how much he controlled me during the affair, and he is still trying. I am no longer so blinded by love that I am a complete idiot. That lesson has been well learned.

Hi twilight~

Could it be, he's threatening to use your written word just because he thinks "he can", given his high profile status? I would think he'd not want to mess with you too much, in fear of it all coming out to the public. Either way, you should counsel w/ your attorney to find out what he can and cannot use against you.

~ad

I have enquired, and basically there is nothing he can do against me for posting on a public internet board. The only person he can go after, is the person who wrote him the anon letter and mailed it to his house. She had be charged with cyberstalking. I have done nothing against him, never mentioned his name...just wrote my personal story. It is the equivilent of a OW trying to press criminal charges agianst one of you for posting here...ridiculous.

I wish he would just leave me alone. It would be different if he wanted contact with his daughter, but he doesn't...so then why not stay the hell out of my life. If he doesn't like what he reads, perhaps he shouldn't read it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I wish he would just leave me alone. It would be different if he wanted contact with his daughter, but he doesn't...so then why not stay the hell out of my life </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No offinse Twilight, but if you want him to leave you alone, then you have to leave him be. Sending him e-mails and pics of your daughter when he has made it very clear he wants nothing to do with you isn't helping any, probably fueling him.

You know he doesn't want anything to do with your daughter or you. Move on with your life. Stop worrying what he is or isn't doing. Stop trying to figure out how to out him or get back at him.