Hey I typed this in one time and got kicked off when I tried to post it. So here goes again eventhough I can't remember all that I wrote now, but hey I do know that it was a profound statement! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

How's it going? You are being so supportive of me during this time of need I just wanted to extend the same courtesy to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Are you doing okay? What is H doing about his decision making process? Is he any better? how's the home life? Is your son dealing with this okay? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Just thought I'd get the ball rolling with a few questions of my own.

Take care, and talk if you need to!

JT

Where are you? I went on the SBF site last night but must have missed you. I talked to KrisM it was great!

Talk to you soon,

JT

Okay now I ma starting to worry. I have heard nothing from you in a couple of days. What's going on? Are you okay?

Just a little concerned, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

JT

I'm fine JT2--THanks for thinking of me--just missed you the other night--got to chat with KrisM but you had just left.

I'm really busy today at work with month-end and then have outside stuff to do tonight at home--mow the lawn and prune back my dutch iris etc.

Talk with you soon!

Well, it's about time you let us know you're okay! Sending you loves!

- Kimmy

Thought I ought to give you all a quick update.

Not to much new--H was around alot this weekend when he wasn't working.

Hw worked night shift last night and is now off for four days. He called last night before he went to work to ask if he could come over this morning after he got off work and then sleep for awhile and then work in the shop. He then said or he could go to apt.--I said that would be better don't see any reason for you to come here until you want to work in shop. That annoyed him I could tell--he didn't say it but it did.

As I thought--he showed up at the house after getting off work and said he was going to stay up and work in the shop and then just go to bed early tonight. WHATEVER--as I was leaving he was fast asleep in bed. Okay why can't he just admit he wanted to come over--MEN!!!!

Oh yeah by the way four day weekend--fri thur Mon. off. Can't wait no special plans but no work!

Thinking of you all. Haven't posted many updates about me because things are calm and haven't changed much and right now you all need my support way more than I need support.

Will try to chat tonight at SXF but H may be around--jumped on last night at but no one was around--about 6-6:30 pst time anyway hope to catch you all tonight--if not you are all in my thoughts.

Hi Albany,

I am so glad things are going better for you. The fact that you are withdrawing is causing him to pull in. Shows he loves you and cares for you.

good for you Albany. I for one am grateful for the support you hav eshown me so Thanks again. Hope to chat with you all tonight on SBF.

Thanks for calming me down earlier I needed it and you know what my family has come through again. Plus my attny will come through on tomorrow.

JT

Thanks JT--I try to be helpful or at least give support--sometimes hard to give advice when going through your own bad dream. Hope to catch you tonight. Are you at home already?

I have forgotten where do you work?

Just wanted to vent--H can be so mature yet so inmature at times--he just pissed me off and said some very hurtful things.

He called to see if I wanted him to pick something up for dinner and said he was going to friends to look at transmission--I said something about that friend being kinda strange and instantly got pissed and called me names said I was ***** and that he wasn't picking something up for dinner.

Okay way immature and like he hasn't said things about my friends and I don't call him names etc.

I called back and said don't call me names I did nothing to deserve this kinda treatment etc. and he was still a turd kinda--hello--I didn't say anything bad about friend and even so doesn't warrant that type of response.

Then talked to him few minutes later and he said that he was getting us something--it's like they have PMS.

Just really hurt and upset after the forward bby steps. I don't get this.

Are you high? Of course they get PMS! Didn't your mom tell you? It's, like, 5 bazillion times worse than ours b/c they're taught not to express their feelings....the ker-blowie! They explode. I swear, if they could just sit thru a chick flick every once in awhile and have a good cry, they'd be so much better off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tell him what I tell my 4 year old. You need a nap! You're not using your words very nicely!

(((Albany)))

- Kimmy

Albany,

Keep your chin up. I hope things stay calm for you. Your posts sound like you are spent. Are you?

Thinking of you.

Kimmy,

I didn't know there was a male PMS.

Albany,

Sometimes my husband explodes for no reason too. Then if I leave him alone, an hour later he is fine. I think you will be fine. I also think some men never grow up. At least I never met a grown man. I think they all throw temper tantrums sometimes.

Not spent just frustrated by little set back and now he acts great. I did say again that I did not to warrant that outburst nor did I appreciate it and let it go at that.

I was just really hurt and then my hurt alot of times show as anger and so I had to vent.

Hi Albany,

I notice this with a lot of men. They have outburst for no reason. Then later they are fine. He was probably aggravated at somebody else and you were an easy target for his frustration. Then later he has forgotten it and we women are still upset. My husband gets frustrated because he says I don't let things go. I am not sure how to deal with this but I have always heard that a lot of men are like that. I would just tell him maybe that it hurts that you are the target of his frustration, and is there another way that he could vent his frustration without taking it out on you all the time. He should respect that he is hurting you by calling you names. Tell him that he is disrespecting you and that is a boundary that you would like him not to cross.

just dropped alittle note to say hello. Hope everything is going good for you. have a good holiday weekend.

JT

Well JT yersterday I might have said it was okay but not today.

I a D is what is happening--guess we are all doing that now.

H came around alot this weekend--ate at my paretns Saturday after he got off work and then went out to bar with friends to play pool and that girl from my work was there and he introduced as a friend to joint friends of ours.

Told him I couldn't handle this anymore and he hadn't made IC appt. and I didn't see the point down and he said he is done and wants a D and i said okay.

I have patient and understanding but what does he expect when he tells me he is tried because he is working 7 days in a row and then he says he is going home to go to bed and he goes out to the bar--I told him no more sympathy and that he is taking our son Fri. night--he gets off Friday morning and goes back to work on Sun at 6am and I said you need to take him Sat. night also and he said I have to work Sun. morning and i said I don't care I have to work everyday week day and I still manage--I told him to bring our son over on his way to work.

He came by this morning at my request to bring my visa card to me. I was in the shower and he just came right into the bathroom---ugh. He gave me the card and then sat on the toilet and told last night was a hard long night--said well so was mine I'm sure that we had very different reasons for that.

I said yours was because of work and mine was because I didn't sleep, was sick to my stomach, and realized I had to take a different path than my dream. He didn't answer/respond. He then told me that he was sorry for all this and getting a D since it all was really happening because of him and was his fault.

WHATEVER--I said I do not think that you are sorry because if you were sorry for what you caused you would try and fix it or do something to make work between us. I said but for you it is easier to walk away then to work on us and he said you are probably right and I said well I hope you are okay living with that. I said unfortunately in the process you have stripped me of my current dreams of a child and our son having a sister. I also said it is easier to move on then to go to counseling and face your issues--I said god knows we both had a part of this not working but I said I have chosen to do C and work on me but I said you are afraid to.

He left--went to apt. I'm sure he has gone out other times when he says he is going home--he says he always calls me etc. and makes himself accessable via the phone but not anymore--okay so what.

Just devastated because I have tried for 14 months and in the end I still do not get any little part of what I wanted. so all this hard work and time once again gets me no where and hasn't paid off--no plan B--no way to do one--he is going staight for a D and frankly I have no energy to stop him and I realized last night I have no idea what is the truth or a lie anymore.

To top it off we had SF before he went to work and before I knew about Sat. night--had been a month because I had said no--now I remember why--now I feel like a whore--doesn't love me and doesn't want me as his wife but can SF--obviously just a piece of meat in his eyes.

So I guess I'm going the polur group with JT, LUV and bbyg.

BTW way I like a failure because I didn't p B and now I can't and there are so many successs stories on here why couldn't I be a success story to--I don't like these cards that god has chosen for me--really has been the story of my life--always telling myself it wasn't meant to be--then what is meant to be for me?

okay one more thing--just really feeling deflated and stupid for ever thinking it could working or ever believing and trusting my H--I feel like he took advantage of my love and dedication to him and our M/family.

Albany,

I know how you feel. I felt/feel the exact same way. Hey and it is never to late to plan B. Divorces don't happen over night and you can always cancel them. If he files he files it will be a while before it happens. I filed yes, and now my attny has not had him served yet because of Protection order decisions. So he has not even been officially served so proceedings are on hold until then. so with the order I have been able to do a great plan b all during this time. He has had no contact with me and still gets to see the kids. He can't come to the house or even call. So I'd say my plan B time is now - I am not sure what the future holds for my M, but I am still in a since hoping for a miracle. The difference now is I am not making it happen he will have to do the work with the Lords help. If it is his will let it be done; if not then let him go away peacefully.

Albany all is not lost and now is the time that you must pray the hardest. You need to do a plan B. Leave him alone get a third party to hadle things with him. my grandmother is my third party; she continues to tell me how sorry he says he is and that he wants his family. Trouble is do you believe them or is it a trap to regain control of you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Albany trust in the Lord not yourself we make misjudgements all due to following our heart. The Lord knows what is best for you and will give it to you but you must BELIEVE and have FAITH! He will see you through this, besides your H is just blowing smoke up your butt. If he files I will be surprised he has not done it this long, so why do it now all of a sudden.

You might have to think is he really the one for you? Are you hanging on to memories of what use to be or dreaming of an ideal M? Take this time to think and pray on it.

I didn't mean to ramble but I know the pain and I fell it for you, but it does get easier in a few weeks. I am strong now and enjoying my life and peace away from my H. I still love him, but now realize that he may not be what is good for me!

Love you,

JT

Keep talking I'll be available today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />