JM,

Well, I do feel that you have grown past the need for that board. When you first came over here to post, you were considerate, but still of the feeling(in your posts) that the BW deserved everything that she got. Well, you now CAN see what the BW is going through and can feel for them. You generally only post when you can help, or when something is directed to you. I find that very mature, and I, for one, commend you for your job that you tried to do over <------ there. I know that about a year ago, when I was trying to put out the flames of a massive board war, I was immediately attacked and all I did was tell the poster on the other board to NOT take the bait and read over here, as it had already been reported and that it would only cause problems. AND, to top that off, I "wear" two "titles" in all these messes, so I should have been welcome over there, according to their "rules". Oh well, I feel that you are heading in the right direction.

On a more personal note, how are Josh and his big sis doing? I've only read a few posts about the girl and was a little more curious how things were going.

Tigger

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thanks for asking! Josh and his big sis are doing great. They got to see each other over Christmas, and that was fun. She's growing so tall! And neither of them know that they're related - but it's funny that they act just like bro & sis! LOL Since we moved away, they email each other and keep in contact that way.

Not sure what is going on with her mother - she's still married to H from what I could tell - not sure what she has going on with xMM, and really at this point, I don't care.

I have read quite a few times where you (JM) has tried to be realistic about this.

We at MB DONT want flaming and nasty posts from an OW-- at the other site- they dont want flames and from the BS.. I get that, I respect that. Every human being deserves a safe place.

But as I said, the OW and BS could help one another in these places at times to understand the reality of the situations... dealing here--- HELPS IN REAL LIFE. Most of us have to deal with one another (either silenlty in our own swirling heads)... or in real life.

I cracked up when someone said "are you going to keep a moderator in your pocket in real life in case someone disagrees" .. or whatever- that IS true. I find it hard to believe that while we can *all* have some real harsh opinions, etc.. that we could not FIND a way to either communicate on certain posts or just plain stay off of ones that may be too tough for us.

I think Justuss does a great job here-she lets everyone post-- and not until someone REALLY begins to hang themselves or others-- does she edit them. Shoot, she will even edit a BW for being too sh*tty- but she is fair and gives everyone equal say without erasing.

The other day on the other site I tried to ask a preg. OW (in a normal, nonthreatening and fair way).. if she realized that no matter what hate she may have for the "BS" of any kind...what the heck was she going to do when/if this MM and W want a relationship w/the child? Being SO very closed off with hate for a W, who MAY be helping to care for your child- is VERY SCARY -- yet VERY possible and permissible w/the court at some point. So.. my POST may have been removed completely, but SHE is still left with the REAL LIFE situation - that will not just "go away". Exploring the issues on a msg board-- seems to me is the best way to start.

Anyway- many read all over- its our right, our natural curiosity-- our life is often overwhelmed w/these scenerios explored on all boards--- so I know why people read here--- and there. It makes perfect sense for ANY of us gals, either OW or BS-- or XOW or RD (resurrected divas) ha!

Again, good job just simply being a realistic and rational human!LOL! I am sure you dont always like our opinions, etc. - of course not-- BUT like NTMO (marysway)-- you are reasonable and sensible - know how to add something to a post without being sh*tty--- know how to back off it need be.

<small>[ January 09, 2005, 10:33 AM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Shoot - I didn't like my MOTHER's opinion sometimes, but I listened at least. LOL
Now I'm glad I did. Things that she said come back to me at the oddest times. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I know- I love how we think we are nothing like our mothers.. and then out no where ... we ARE! lol ! My 4 brothers (I am the only girl) are constantly calling me by my mothers name to tease me when they see my little "just like mom" habits!

JM, I myself am very sorry to see you resign at the other forum. You have over the last few years provided a voice of reason and also exacted a semblance of order and decency. I am also sorry to see some other woman on a mission, with an axe to grind take over. Irregardless, you will be missed by the ones who truly like a reasonable and intelligent discussion on the issues presented in our lives.

Thanks Cherise... And some of us are working on a new board where people can post in peace, so to speak.

WHERE, WHERE! pLEASE LET ME KNOW. I KNOW MY SITU IS CONFUSING TO SAY THE VERY LEAST. Have it all, so to say. As not only a BW, but the grandparent of two OC. The bio one with NC. And the oldest grand whom my son adopted. Strange to say the least. But it works for us. So I have many varied experiences of which to choose!

I will let you know as soon as it's up and running. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Giovanna - could you email me at Joshmom65@gmail.com?
Thanks..

<small>[ January 09, 2005, 08:36 PM: Message edited by: JoshMom ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by giovanna123:
<strong> I know- I love how we think we are nothing like our mothers.. and then out no where ... we ARE! lol ! My 4 brothers (I am the only girl) are constantly calling me by my mothers name to tease me when they see my little "just like mom" habits! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL The first time I said "If I have to pull this car over" I pulled over because I was laughing so hard.. I'd turned into my mother!!! AAAARRRGH!!!

JM,
I know you don't remember but MANY years ago I posted on TOW. At that time it was just you, me and Pink Ice. Occasionally someone from the General board would wander over to tell what a piece of [censored] my H was but you were always polite and helpful to me. In more ways than you will ever know you contributed to my healing and helped me with the issue of oc. You also helped me realize ( although I don't always agree ) that there are two sides to this issue.
Their loss is our gain !!
jtigger

I to will miss you over there. I rarely post anymore and wasn't fortunate enough to see the response to my last post. To bad the rest of them couldn't be as compassionate.

I remember lots of people coming and being welcomed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Unfortunately, that will no longer be the case from what I understand. But maybe it's time for the board to take a new direction. It's not my decision.

There is a board that we're working on that anyone is more than welcome to come to - Justuss I apologize - I don't know if I'm allowed to post links - www.otherchildren.com

Feel free to email me if you have questions, Joshmom96@gmail.com (an email I use only for this "stuff" so it's safe)..

Joshmom

***Unfortunately, that will no longer be the case from what I understand.***

A variety of good people will still be welcome if *I* have anything to say about it, and last time I checked, I still do... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugs!

Dang....guess I'm REALLY out of the loop!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
oh well........what can I say?

I think I am too scared to go back over 'here'.........not that I need too anyway.
*****************************************

How was your wedding mntb? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox
kt

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by gardenbunny:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by entwifejmr:
<strong> I'll keep posting because I know I CAN be an advocate for doing the "right" thing. Not for me or any other adult....but for the children involved.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why do you post here?! This site is about what is the right thing for the marriage! For some, it includes all the children involved, and for others it doesn't.

No offense, but the site is called Marriage Builders, not OC Builders!

(For someone who just reads here and "soaks things in," I can say that I find you really annoying!!! ) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Justuss:
QUOTE]Originally posted by Justuss:
<strong> Although I believe that question has been answered, no one has to justify or defend where they post and why.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

<small>[ January 17, 2005, 12:00 AM: Message edited by: entwifejmr ]</small>