Has everyone had paternity test done or do you just know?

I'm embarrassed to admit....my H did NOT request paternity. Said he knew FOR SURE. (OW said she was a virgin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> until him....I kinda believe it....if you saw her you would understand)

I was 'hopeful' more than doubtful.

But he made the decision & here we are.

OC does have hair like him & eyes.

I was too confused to demand anything.......just having baby & all.........anyway.......

I will always wonder, but really only sometimes because it is too late to do anything about it now so......it really doesn't matter.

HE said in court it's HIS so.....forever & always now she's (OC) HIS.


xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxox
kt

We still don't know. H thinks OC looks like him (Oc's only 7 months old). H did refuse to sign the birth certificate since he hadn't had a paternity test (one smart thing I was able to convince him to do!) But, I'm still waiting for him to get the paternity test taken care of! We do pay CS, on our own, I don't reccomend it. We have our reasons for now.

We filed to establish paternity and legitmate the baby prior to her birth.
The paternity test was court ordered.

During OW's pregnancy, she was scheduled to have an amniocentisis and we requested that when she had that done that they also perform the paternity test at that time. She cancelled the entire amnio process.
Makes you wonder if she was a little apprehensive about the results.

We knew that Lil Bit was Mr Lee's by the time she was 5 wks old.
Mr Lee claimed to KNOW that she was going to be his... amazing that he KNEW even though OW cancelled the amnio after we asked for a paternity test.

Stacia

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Stacia_Lee:
<strong> We filed to establish paternity and legitmate the baby prior to her birth.
The paternity test was court ordered.

During OW's pregnancy, she was scheduled to have an amniocentisis and we requested that when she had that done that they also perform the paternity test at that time. She cancelled the entire amnio process.
Makes you wonder if she was a little apprehensive about the results.

We knew that Lil Bit was Mr Lee's by the time she was 5 wks old.
Mr Lee claimed to KNOW that she was going to be his... amazing that he KNEW even though OW cancelled the amnio after we asked for a paternity test.

Stacia </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stacia, that is bizzar. You know what, xmm demanded I do a paternity through amino as well since the doctor wanted me for other reasons well he did a no show to both appointments we made for this test that HE demanded me to do. I was like OKAY!!! No problem. He was like, set it up and I'll pay for it, and be there, and I'm like OKAY!!!!!! and low and behold I set it up and he did not show up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

H had a paternity test. We got the results on my birthday.

Guess I should answer my own question. No testing done here. I knew when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't with H during either time. 1st one he was living with OW, second one H and I were going through a really bad time and not having sexual relations. Xmm knew I was pregnant before I did <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Either way there is no doubt. My son looks so much like Xmm it is scary. And with my daughter, you can tell, see the resemblance.

With H, he never had a test done. Always said he knew it was his kid. Oc does look just like him to.

The stupid things we do..........

But I do love all 3 of the kids.

Nope, never had the test done, but we also wanted to avoid a lifetime of fear of the xom so he never even knew of the P to begin with. Even now, we sometimes wonder, but will never have the test done as it doesn't matter about the DNA. Abbi is and always will be Daddy's Little Girl!

H paternity was court ordered. Besides he was not going to do anything without knowing for sure anyway. I also demanded it because you never know.

My H is scheduling the paternity test for the OC even as we speak, even though it's in full agreement w/H, myself, XOW, and XOW's H (yes she was married as well) that OC is my H's...looks just like him.

My H requested a paternity test after OW said baby might not be his. She said she wanted other guy tested first. A month passed, then two, and everytime H called to ask for test, OW refused. Finally, H and I went through the child support enforcement agency - which was difficult because that agency is for WOMEN who want a DNA test and CS order, but finally they ordered her to do a test. After we got the results I was so upset I almost divorced him (again).

No DNA here. x-om bowed out and has abided by complete NC. Baby is mine and H's. A negative result wouldn't change that. Plus, I think it makes it easier in that we don't plan to ever tell anyone--as in--what's to tell? Since we don't even know for sure, one way or another. Make any sense? Probably a rationalization, but that's where things stand right now.

That being said...I will forever and always be an advocate for all MM and their wives seeking DNA on a baby that an OW claims to have been fathered by the MM. IT IS A MUST! NEVER acknowledge a child is yours based on emotion, physical features, whatever...ALWAYS, ALWAYS, have it proven as fact BEFORE taking on any type of responsibility of the child.

kt~ WOW girl...you shocked me with that revelation! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Hind sight is 20/20, hey? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

~ad

yah....embarrassing hanh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

something else OW & I have in common! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

whatever.

xoxoxoxox
kt

Ahhhhh, stop beating yourself up. For all my big talk--who knows what I'd really do, in the same situation. I've sure gained a lot of wisdom from this site, so hopefully I'd do things the "right" way, though. This kind of stuff was not anywhere on my radar screen before coming here.

I'm surprised the courts didn't request paternity in your case, in determining custody/CS. I just figured a DNA test would be a given. Shows you how much I know about the courts/family law. Are the courts just looking for someone to take responsibility/acknowledgement for the child, whether DNA is established or not??

Are the courts just looking for someone to take responsibility/acknowledgement for the child, whether DNA is established or not??

Pretty much! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

The judge did make it very clear what H was 'accepting'...& his right to DNA. (but still a bit scary since YOU (we) would have to pay for it...they should just make it FREE for every CS case)

The courts 'offer' dna testing but if you are found to be the father...you have to pay for it.

That scared H too-----we didn't have any $$$$$$ but NOW I think they would have just added it to the arrears bill (20/20 again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> )

If I would have found this site sooner-I would have INSISTED. I did 'suggest'---EVERYONE suggested. My MIL practically BEGGED H to get it done. He was too concerned about the $$$$$$$$. Always is---AFTERWARDS!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> duh!!!

Oh well---------@ least OC has someone who she can call a father........& it's already done so--it doesn't matter now, for us anyway.

BUT for anyone else---------------YOU MUST GET DNA done!!!!!!! BEFORE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!


xoxoxo
kt

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> but will never have the test done as it doesn't matter about the DNA. Abbi is and always will be Daddy's Little Girl!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is how it is with Lanie and Alex. Xow made a comment at Oc birthday party last year, how H has a special bond with Alex, dispite not being his bio son.

We have already been asked questions based on looks. People are wondering why Alex looks nothing like H. Of couse these people don't know the truth either.

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: lonely315 ]</small>

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: lonely315 ]</small>

Never had test done.

unofortunately, OC she looks JUST like MY SON. She looks just like my husband.

Dotn get one probaly wont get one unless EVER court ordered. Just accepted the fact that she is his.

Baby K will always have a fahter that will WANT to be there for her wether OW, H and Me can come to an agreement about C, but he will always be there.

im ok with no test and accewpting the fact that she is his, WHY DENY it and then get hurt even more in the long run finding out that she is his RIGHT.

Just my 2 cents

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> WHY DENY it and then get hurt even more in the long run finding out that she is his RIGHT.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But lonely, why accept it as fact, without evidence? I can see where it is probably smart, and even self preserving to expect the worst, but hope for the best, but I don't see why it should be a given, without the test. It's a matter that shouldn't be dealt with by burying your head in the sand. It's a matter that should be dealt with, based on facts. It's a matter of knowing you're taking responsibility of someone who REALLY is your H's child.

I could turn your thought pattern around, and say, "Why automatically assume the child is your H's, and get hurt even more in the long run finding out she ISN'T his?" Yes, some may say, "well how can such news hurt?", but if it's a few years down the road, lots of people can get hurt. It may be too late, and a judge will say, "Too bad, so sad, you took responsibility, now you will continue to take responsibility, even though DNA says otherwise..." Not to mention the fact, that by then there are relationships that have been formed. Ones that will be difficult for the child, your child, you and your H to sever.

Just something to chew on. No offense meant.

~ad