I seem to be having one of those days where all you want to do is hide under the covers and sleep. Last night H took me out on a date. It was the first time in almost a year that we have really done anything together. It was nice!

It has been really peaceful around th house since I changed the phone number. I have been on a mission not to throw A/OW/OC Issues in H face. Was doing really well until yesterday and I believe that is my problem. H left his cell in my car yeaterday after using it ( not his brightest moment). I went to work and tosed the idea of loking through it around a few times and gave in and did it. He has been taking to her and she has been text msg, him I deleated her from his phone book and erased all of the msg. from her and sent him one saying stop playing games with her, no more secrets. There was also a voice mail on it that I am sure was from her but I don't know his password. We didn't fight when I got home and we still went on the planned date.

I felt really bad afterwords and wrote a 5 page letter to his teling how I have been feeling and waht I did. After all I have said I don't want anymore secrets and that means me too. I know he reads them but he never comments unless I ask about it.

I am just feeing obverwhelmed right now. Want to get lawyer hired now but H doesn't seem sold on the idea. My counselor made me feel like crap at the last session. Basically tellibg me I am I fool and I should dump his A** (she didn't say this but inplied). I really don't want to go back. My car is having issues again and can't affoard to trade it off and get a better one. And I just got a 10 mo. old golden retiever that does not like to stay home alone and likes to destroy my plants and bed! And I have to unteach him All of the bad habits his last owner thaught him. Not fun!

Looking forward to tuseday. I will have a dog free day (he is getting nutered wish I could do that with H!). I just really wish I could have a week with nothing going wrong. That hasn't happened since October.

Sorry about going on and on. I think I need a vacation! Hope everyone had a good weekend!

B.~

I am sorry you're having such a tough time. I know the feeling. Can you try to get out and do something for yourself? I need to try to do the same. I was feeling bad today, and I went and bought myself a shirt and did a little grocery shopping. It did help. If only it wasn't raining I would have gone for a walk.

Thanks for the advice. I went to bowling with H last night and got ot of the house for a few hours after work. I just think I have one too many irons in the fire right now and I have pms (stupid hormones anyway!)

Had a mini melt down last night on the way home from work. I was driving through town when a car zips past me. And Of cource it was OW. I don't know if I'm just parinoid or what but she turned around and followed me. My hart was racing about a hundred mph and my hands were shaking when i turned into the grocery store. It was a good thing she didn't follow me to the store. I really wanted to run her off the road. These feeling of rage are really begining to scare me! I really need to move out of that town. just seeing a car like hers puts me on edge.

Went home and laid in bed for about an hour to calm myself down. H actually seemed concerned for me and wanted to know what happened that I was so upset. I told him and felt like an idiot about it, but that is what all of this does to and I guess he is going to have to deal with it.

Tomorrow after I drop off the dog I am going to do a little shopping and maybe spend the rest of the day in the tub turning into a prun!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Had a mini melt down last night on the way home from work. I was driving through town when a car zips past me. And Of cource it was OW. I don't know if I'm just parinoid or what but she turned around and followed me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sugar, if she EVER does that again drive straight to your nearest sherriff's/police dept!

See if she ever pulls that bs again. HUMPH!!!!

Very good idea, Kimmy!!

ent