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Ok, my appt is today at 11:30! I cant believe I am doing this...but I know in my heart i have to! I have already had a horrible day today! I spilled my coffee all over my carpet! I hit a dog on the way to the school..it got up and ran away, but it was underneath my suburban! then the alien calls and wants to know something! ARGH! Ok, will let you know what happens!
<small>[ March 22, 2005, 03:53 PM: Message edited by: Momto3Boys ]</small>
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Mt3B, I think you're doing the right thing for now. Maybe H will realize you mean biz and he'll finally get his wakeup call that he needs. Stick to your guns, girl. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Kandi,
My prayers r with u, as long as u feel u r doing the best thing for Kandi right now u will be fine.
Stay strong & keep your head up!
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MT3Boys, good luck today. I know that it is hard. I was really hoping for some closure when I tried to file. Since I was unable to file it was really quite a let down. I hope that it will help your situation to improve one way or the other. Hang in there!
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M23B, I know that today will be a trying time for you and your emotions will run ragged (Been there too!!) but you are doing what is best for you and the kids. Ed has left you no other choice and I hope that you know that! Now it is time to take care of you and be strong and regain some sort of life BACK for yourself and your children. Normalcy (???) is what you make it. I know that you thought it (M) would be forever we all did, but maybe GOD has something better for you (I hope I did not offend)!! I am praying for you and your family and hope that you do the same as well!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> As Julia Roberts said in "Pretty Woman: Take Care of YOU"!!! W2E <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Thanks so much everyone! Well, I did it! It is done...I paid the $$$ and filed the paperwork...he will be served in two days...maybe one, but two days max! I feel relieved and sad at the same time...So sorry it has come to this...I tried..I really did
althouhg he says he wants to still work on the marriage, he shows NO ACTIONS! It is not even about the OW anymore..it is about the way he treats me and the kids...about his disrespect towards me, the lies...I can go on and on! I am going to start focusing on myself now...Thanks for all the parayers!
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Kandi, we're all very proud of you. You know, there is a chance now that H will put 100% into working on your marriage and if he can do it honestly, completely and forthrightly then maybe your M can be saved. How long does it take in your state for D's to be final? I guess even with a finality there's always a chance for reconciliation. I can tell by your posts that it wasn't something you wanted to do, but felt you had to do and you're not blamed one bit! I'm glad you finally took a stand for yourself. Good job!!!!
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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Hang in there girl! Your doing good. Stick to the Plan B and go. Be all you can be and the greatest mom to those boys! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D
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Hang in there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> We all know you tried your hardest! Maybe this will be his wake-up call, the twit.
Hugs,
J
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jenny: <strong> Hang in there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> We all know you tried your hardest! Maybe this will be his wake-up call, the twit. Hugs, J </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for the laugh Jenny! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Michele, no this is not something I WANTED to do, but really felt I HAD to...I have no other choice...I cannot sit in limbo the rest of my life waiting for him to "get a clue"... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I am giong to go back to school this Fall, UGH!!!! and possible move to San Antonio...I believe my lawyer is going to put that in the decree that I be able to move to San Antonio! I am so scared, but I know I will make it! thanks so much for the support!
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Kandi,
Going back to school is an awesome idea!
Put the focus on you and the boys and leave Ed to fend for himself!
And moving back to SAT is a good idea... your family and friends are there... Keep your support close to you!
You already know that we are here to encourage and support you...
Take care of yourself, dear friend, and those sweet boys!
Stacia
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Kandi, I'm very proud of you. You are taking care of Kandi and you will reap the benefits of this in the future. Going back to school is an awesome thing to do. I'm going to school right now and I LOVE it. I love learning; it opens up your mind and it helps you feel more confident and hopeful about the future. Again, I'm so proud of you. I know this was hard, but it's for the best. You will do fine. In a few years, you will look back at all of this and you will know that you made the right decision. You are still so young and you have your entire life ahead of you. Don't waste it on someone that does not deserve you and treat you like a special person. We all make mistakes, but how we learn from them and how we treat others is what ultimately makes us a better person. Take care of yourself! Kati </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Momto3Boys: [I am giong to go back to school this Fall, UGH!!!! and possible move to San Antonio...I believe my lawyer is going to put that in the decree that I be able to move to San Antonio! I am so scared, but I know I will make it! thanks so much for the support! [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
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MT3Boys, I am constantly in awe of the strength shown by you and the other ladies here.
I know that this was not an easy choice for you. As my best friend told me earlier today, only YOU will know when it's time to move on. There comes a time when you get tired of being disrespected, particularly when you know that you deserve better. You also have the exciting prospect of returning to school and moving to SAT to be closer to your family.
Keep your head up!
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((((MT3B))))~
Thoughts and prayers for you and your boys in this new stage.
~ad
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MT3B,
There , there, wasn't so hard was it?
I am proud you did this for yourself, Kandi. So proud. I know how hard it was to sign on the dotted line but you did it!
I can't wait to see what happens next and we depend on you to update us when you can.
Kandi this will force him to look at his life and what he wants. PlanB is what is needed here with the signing of the papers.
See, he's always had you to come back to and lean on, his *safe haven* will now be gone.... for now anyway.
You need to be safe and excluded from all the madness for now. Take time to feel yourself and see just what a worthy wonderful Mom and person you really are! And you are sweetie, you are!
I suspect the phone will be ringing off the hook in a day or two. Want to answer? Ok. Just act like "what the hay" Say you have plans but do not elaborate... don't have time for him....not yet, no matter what it does to your mind (and it will mess it up somewhat) but you've come this far and do not turn back. Keep up the front, never let 'em see you sweat, ok?
Things may have a different outcome at the end of the rollercoaster ride. I always hated rollercoasters too~
I am holding you in mostly constant prayer.
Whatever is to be, will be. God will give you what you need right now, so lean on Him.
We'll be running a close second! So lean on us too.
(((hugs)))
love
Debi
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Hugs and prayers to you.
This isn't the end, it's the beginning.
It's Kandi's Reclamation Day !!! <---beats the hell out of Dday doesn't it ?
Going back to school is a fantastic thing to do, even if it's only one class a semester. It will open a whole new world to you.
No matter what, now that you've filed, the boys will be provided for. THAT is what matters, especially with him throwing cash and insurance at her already.
Gosh I am so thrilled for you !! To take that step took HUGE amounts of courage. You didn't LOSE anything...you remember that....you took one small step for you today, but a HUGE step towards your future..and it looks mighty nice from where I'm sitting !
Ed's a fool. He won't know what a gem you are until you're gone. Let him really lie in this. I bet he'll realize in time how BAD he blew it.
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Woo Hoo!! Way to go, kandi! I know it was tough, but think of it as your first step toward KANDI. School is a wonderful idea. Of course, you don't get alimony in Texas, but I'm sure you'll need spousal support for quite a while, given that you will be unable to support your children in the immediate future, what with school and all. Right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Girl, in my book, you get the prize for trying the hardest to make your marriage work -- but it's time to reclaim your life, as other posters have said.
Congrats! I'm seeing this as a great step forward.
PM
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YEEHAW!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Now just settle back and watch Ed squirm for once. I mean truly squirm!!
Don't give in!! Leave to your mom's house or a friends' house. Anywhere he can't get a hold of you. Plan b,d,x,or whatever. Just let his ACTIONS speak. Not that mouth. You know you have heard everything already before. Let him SHOW what YOU mean to him. Not the other way around.
Remember...he is a grown man. Not one of your kids or a wayward dog. He has taken advantage of you far too many times. DON'T FEEL BAD FOR HIM!! He has pooped in his OWN bed. Let him clean it up.
Hang in there pumpkin!!
entwife
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MT3B,
I haven't been here long, but it seems like forever since monday. I've read some of your story, and I appreciate SO much the support you've given to me even in your own pain. Too bad our H's don't have the kind of compassion and empathy I see flowing through this site. I'm proud of you, too! Stay strong. I couldn't imagine what you must be going through.
JM
PS...I'm in TX too.
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M23B, ((((((((((((((((((((WHEWEEE))))))))))))))))))) I know that it was hard for you to do, but I must admit that I am proud of you and wish you and the boys the best of eveything. Continue to have faith that eveything will work out for the best and that there is a master plan in this somewhere. The rough part is over, but the follow through can be tough as well, so be careful and mindful that he is a manipulator!!! So he'll grovel, beg, plead and even scratch his eyeballs out to get you back once served. So stick to your guns and wait on his actions to meet his words!!!! I will be praying for your family and wishing you the very best!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> PS: I agree with Jenny - he is a "TWIT" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Hang in there, W2E <small>[ March 23, 2005, 10:32 AM: Message edited by: Waiting 2 Exhale ]</small>
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