..."It's is the name of a program designed to help heal and renew marriages. The word Retrouvaille, simply means 'rediscovery'. The program offers the chance to rediscover yourself, your spouse, and a loving relationship in your marriage."<P>This is what I copied from the website. Has anyone heard about this??<BR>

vy,<P>My h & I attended this in the spring. It could be a very helpful experience if both parties are willing to do the work involved. A very emotional and revealing weekend. (Unfortunately, H was still involved with OW when we went - unknown to me.) We may try again this fall.<P>------------------<BR>RobinAnn<P>*********<P>Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape!<p>[This message has been edited by RobinAnn (edited September 07, 1999).]

HI Vy:<P>Yes my H and i went to that weekend the 20-22 of August here in Arizona. It has started us on a good path towards communicating better with one another. Even though we have to do it at a distance again on here, cause he had to return to Alaska. But we have been going through the booklets, for the follow up sessions together. I've already gone to one follow up, and than come home and shared with him via email what we learned and once he's gone over it we talk about it on icq chat. It was a bit awkward going to the first follow up at first cause he wasn't with me, but it was nice to see some of the couples i had met on the weekend. So that helped alot. But i would recommended it highly, don't expect to see miracles instantly. My H and i felt it was a new beginning on the road for healing our marriage though. Good luck .. let me know if you decide to go and how it helps you too.. : )<P>------------------<BR>Alliy

Alliy, we already decided to go in September. We don't expect miracles, but see it at a plus. We also see a therapist, read books, and are surrounded by very nice people who pray a lot for us even if they don't know the exact situation. If you give me your email address (if your comfortable) I will tell you how it went. Thanks for your reply.

My H and I went in July. We didn't particularly find it helpful, because we found out that our communication level far exceeds what they were teaching. As a matter of fact, halfway through our second day, one of the instructors came up to us and asked why we were there. He went on to say that he had never seen two people more in love and that we have something very special, and he hoped we realized that. He continued to call us the "honeymooners" the entire time. They caught us on a good weekend, or they might have been running for cover otherwise. <P>I do recommend it if you have trouble communicating in your marriage. It teaches some very valuable tools. The one thing that irritated me beyond anything else, was the way they treated the couples like children. We were not allowed to know what time they would be waking us up, and we both had only 30 minutes to get ready. It ended up being a 7 am wake up call. Earlier if you wanted to attend mass. It's very mentally exhausting, in that you don't get any breaks, except to be rushed through breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Saturday consisted of 16 hours of sitting. And you weren't allowed to leave for the restroom, unless it was an emergency. You did get breaks every couple of hours when they sent you back to your room to do exercises for about 15 minutes, but you had specific instructions on how that time was to be spent. Those times are important, because you needed to practice the tools they gave you.<P>I did feel terribly sorry for the spouses who were reluctant to attend, and even more so for the ones who asked them to come. The reluctant ones were soon very short tempered, and some flatly refused to do the exercises. We ended up leaving late Saturday night, because I couldn't stand another 12 hours of it on Sunday. It was a very hostile place by Saturday night. Everyone was extremely tired and irritable after so many hours without any indication from anyone when it was going to be over. We weren't allowed to carry watches, they told us to trust them with the time. It ended a little after 11 pm on Sat. <BR> <BR>I hope that my situation was not the norm, because they didn't do a lot more than anger a lot of people. Especially when you left there with less than 8 hours before you had to be seated for breakfast. I think maybe it would have been easier to stick it out had we not learned how to communicate better through therapy and books. It can surely be a breakthrough for some couples. I do recommend the teaching of "dialogue" that they use, just be prepared for an extremely exhausting weekend. Then again, nothing good comes easy. If your marriage is worth fighting for, then the weekend is more than worth it. <P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller<BR>

hello,<BR>wow-distrusting I am so sorry to read of your experience. That does sound like a weekend work camp rather than a seminar on rebuilding! Wish you had been at ours on valentine weekend.<BR>My experience was very different indeed! My h and I have never had any real trouble communicating so I was a bit reluctant to attend. But it was something H would do in rebuilding since there was no expectation of group participation. So I jumped at the cahnce. Our weekend was great! Exhausting but great. <BR>The meals were not exactly leisurely, but there was ample time to eat and talk, the food was excellent. We knew the wake up times, and we just got up and went to the bathroom whenever! Mass was short and sweet, the priest was wonderful. It was structured but not terribly uncomfortable for us.<BR>My h did have a meltdown on sat am, and reteated to his room. This caused quite a stir and people rushed around trying to figure out what went on. The priest talked with him and he rejoined the group awhile later. He really needed the unscheduled break to get himself together. (the mask was too weird for my h-you will understand when you go).<BR>The focus is on communication. While H and I had no big issues there, it really helped him to see emotions and feelings in a clearer light. I helped him be able to identify what he thinks as opposed to what he feels. It helped him focus on the whys of his feelings, and helped him better expalin the origins of them. It was very helpful for my h. <BR>I am not sure I gained much from the actual info. What I gained was a respect for the way my h expresses deepthoughts, and I gained patience for his different methods of communication. It was quite romantic for us to be away, focused on only the two of us. <BR>As a whole our group was pretty functional, and we still do followups. I gained more from the followups than the actual weekend. We have a support group that meets monthly, but we only attend every few months due to the times.<BR>We still do the dialogue exercises though not nightly as they rec. We do about every other night and limit it to 10 minutes. This past sunday we ended up doing it over an hour, so we agreed to take off til next weekend. One can get just a little too wrapped up in it! <BR>I do hope you attend with an open mind, and hope you are able to come away with something new to help you and h.

Hi cl .. that sounds similar to my H's and mine experience a few weekends ago ... there were times we felt a bit exhausted but .. were very happy we did attend .. helped us along our road of healing and all the couples there were there by their own free will .. cause the host couples called and talked with each of them personally to make sure it was something they wanted to do and not what their spouse wanted them to do. In the past H wouldn't of been open to coming to one of these, but this was the time and something we really needed too. This weekend will be the second weekend of the follow ups looking forward to seeing the couples again, wish H could attend them with me, but we are gonna take the follow up sessions again when we are together full time next spring.<P>Robin .. sorry you didn't have a good experience perhaps next time you attend you will, cause i think there are at least 2 a year, you'd have to check your local church to make sure. Good luck to you though.<P>vy .. of course you may email me at alliy_tigress@hotmail.com .. i'd love to hear how your experience goes<P>Take care all talk to you again soon.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Alliy

Sorry my mistake that was Dishonest who had the not so good experience.<P>------------------<BR>Alliy

Alliy, thanks for your email address! I will send mine right away.

alliy, your email address doesn't seem to be correct. Is there a little mistake in it?

Hmmm that's strange vy .. that's my email addy alliy_tigress@hotmail.com<P>keep trying you'll get through .. or what's your email and i'll trying emailing you first to see if it goes through?<P>------------------<BR>Alliy