Between my W and an old (male) friend of hers. Every so often, she'll go and spend the day with this guy, which she's always told me about before and I know he's not the OM, so it doesn't bother me.<P>Anyway, they've been arranging another of these days together, with lunch at a fancy restaurant, wine, conversation, the works. Except this time, it turns out the guy's wife has gone to S.A. on vacation without him. So now he's not happy just to have my W for company for a day, he's got to try and talk her into spending the night, even several nights, at his place. Nothing's going to happen, heh, heh, we're just friends, we're both married, heh, heh, you can have the spare bedroom, heh, heh.<P>Yeah, right. And this guy teaches moral philosophy at a local college. Aren't there any honest people left around any more. Just because he knows my W and I are on the skids, he thinks she's fair game? Unbelievable.<P>To her credit, my W did beg off spending the night at this guy's house though she's still going to spend most of the day tomorrow with him and hasn't told me about it yet. We shall see....<P>--Wex

Wex,<P>Don't know what to tell ya'. Hang on?<P>Hey, you posted some info about a place for locating people.<P>Anyhoo, my MIL wants me to see if I can locate my BIL. He disappeared about 12 years ago & no one has heard from him since. If you would pass the info to me, I really appreciate it.<P>Thanks much!<BR> chrisca@pcisys.net <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Wex,<P>It will be interesting to see if she will be honest with you about this....<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Just to be the devils advocate, why not make a copy of that tape and give it to his wife when she gets back... You know anonomously.<P>I think she would appreciate it.<P>J

I don't agree, SimplyJ. I think the thing to do is just sit on it and wait. Like RMA says, it'll be interesting to see if she's honest and owns up to it.<P>Maybe she'll shine through and tell you. But, if you confront her about it -- however anonomously, it'll come back and bite you in the a**.<P>Good luck,<P>--keystone

If you sent the tape anonymously, she would also know that her phone conversations are being recorded and she'd really go undercover!!!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Wex, <P>This burns my back side! What in the hey is this guy doing going after a married woman. Is he trying to drag some else down into the abyss?! Some friend.<P>I say open up a can of whoop*ss on him. Or, you could use one of my favorite lines from "Clueless" - "I've got a .44 and a shovel; I doubt anyone would miss you."<P>Hope your wife tells you. <P>SHA

Oh, SHA,<P>HAHAHAHA!!!!!! Yes, and I could put some .22 holes in him, too! LOL!!!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Moral philosophy indeed!! <P>Moral philosophy my a**. King of the hypocrits.

With friends like that, who needs enemies?!<P>My W was/is havign an EA with her "best friend's" H. Shock of shocks. It makes the burn even more severe, I think, when you think you know the person so well.<P>I also agree with RMA. If she knows she's being taped -- by whomever -- she'll go undercover. And, having the ability to "see" whats unfolding without detection maybe important. It also may be extremely hurtful to you both.<P>--keystone

Everyone - Well, she did tell me after all later yesterday, just a day before the visit when I know they've been planning it for a couple of weeks. But she did tell me.<P>keystone, Simply J, RMA - I have no plans to play the tape for her. That would let the cat out of the bag that I'm taping her, and I don't want her to know. Because I know this guy is small potatoes and NOT the real OM. He's the one I'm really aiming for. I just look at the whole thing with him as evidence of the general corruptness of human nature.<P>honora - Yeah, you've got to watch out for these philosophers!<P>SHA - Yes, my friend, I've heard other conversations between my W and this guy, and also read some of the emails he's sent her, and it burns me too, even if he's not the OM. There was one email where he made a joke about "rescuing" my W from me! BTW, I like the .44 and the shovel idea! But this guy is not the one I'm really after and I don't want to waste my time on him.<P>Chris - This search site charges about $25 and up for a search, with no guarentee that that they'll find who you're looking for. But they did nail the OM for me. The URL is:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.1800ussearch.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.1800ussearch.com/</A> <P>Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex