Another thing I monitor is my W's sexy lingerie. I discovered recently that she rearranged her bureau drawers so that now all the sexy stuff is in one drawer, which makes it easy to keep tabs. Since I know that she's not wearing it for me, I can tell when she's been with the OM by looking to see what she's removed. <P>Ostensibly, she drove down last Fri. night to stay with her divorced sister and her S's kids, traveled together the next day to visit her mother in the care of her other sister, drove back Sat. night to her S's and then came home Sun. She called me from her S's when she got in late Fri. night - I checked using *69 after she hung up - but no call Sat. night. Mon. morning, after she was back, I looked in her lingerie drawer and sure enough, a sexy, lacy black thingie that had been near the bottom was now on top. So it's clear that she took it with her on the trip and it's definitely NOT the kind of thingie you wear if you're just staying with your S. <P>So I'm guessing that she did stay with S Fri. night, did drive down with her Sat. to see their mother, but then met and stayed with OM on Sat. night, probably at a motel. I know that she and her S are cool about this kind of thing, because while her S was still married and living with her H, S and her BF spent a couple of weekends at our place! <P>Isn't it amazing what you can deduce from one single piece of sexy lingerie? <P>--Wex

Wex,<P>You may remember some of my story. Wife spending lot's of phone time with OM. Two calls from people telling me wife is having an affair. Confrontatin and admission to an EA and promise to break off all contact. This was last fall. <P>So we are now at a point where she still talks to him and sees him. In fact they talked when we where on vacation. Says she loves me but is not in love with me. Has not had sex with me in 4 months and I don't see anything breaking that. Still hugs and kisses me. Tells me that I have neglected her for many years and made her feel like nothing because I was working.<P>OM is now getting divorced from wife. Calls continue. Confrontation with me continues on their relationship. We are in a bad place. Counselers we have gone to have not helped at all. They can just say that as long as a 3rd party is involved there is nothing to can do to work on the marriage. <P>OM's wife found condems in his pockets and I confronted my wife on that. She became really pissed at me and told me I really don't know her if I think she would do that. Says that I don't trust her etc. What a mess. I have no idea where to go or what to do. I am now talking to Steve Harley and my wife is also going to talk to him. So maybe there is a little hope. I can't believe how good they can become at dishonesty.<P>Do you have any other snoop tricks. I am thinking of tapping the phone but all our jacks are exposed.

From one, Zippy the Pinhead to another plain Zip, no pinhead,<P>Do you have an attic, basement, unused or heavily packed closet available?<P>I wired a new jack in the cellar with an AC power outlet close by. Radio shack phone recorder utilized. Wiring hidden from view. Disquised the recorder with a box that had bottom and back cut out to hide noise and machine. Disconnected second line to make sure line one was used. Two can be sneaky little sh!ts.<P>Found out more than I was ready to. Wonder what would have happened if I didn't know. Guess it would only be worse. Don't know.<P>Hope it helps, hope you consider the consequences as well.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Tim<BR>BE PREPARED FOR WHAT YOU HEAR!

I have also been told by a PI friend you can get aligator clips and clip the junction where the line enters the house if its exposed, I have underground lines so there is a box big enough to get a voice activated recorder in it. Never had to do that. I found out about my W's EA via her email. I knew the password cuz I set up the account months ago. Never thinking I'd pry into it. Glad I did. <BR>The EA is over and we are healing. 5+ months.<BR>I spoke with the OM today on phone. We see each other weekly. He is a parent on our kids sports team. I also use Spector software for the PC , its great, <A HREF="http://www.spectorsoft.com" TARGET=_blank>www.spectorsoft.com</A> <BR>great and cheap. captures everything you want and then some. <P>------------------<BR>jnvc

Zip - I have followed your story off and on. It's good to hear that you've talked to Dr. H. I think that means there's hope. Also, your W's affair is at least out in the open where it can be talked about. That's a start. OM's divorce is troubling though. It may mean that he and your W have some kind of plans.<P>As far as snooping is concerned Harley regards it as a "lovebuster" but I'm inclined to disagree. It's only an LB if your spouse finds out, so be careful. If my W ever caught me sorting through her lingerie drawer, there'd be hell to pay.<P>As to phone taps, read Medics post. Medic, I basically have the same set up as you do, with the recorder hidden in the space betwee the basement ceiling and the 1st floor. I've used this system off and on since last summer. We have 3 phones, so I sometimes switch it around between phones. I wired hidden jacks on all three lines last summer while she was on a trip. The system works like a charm as far as recording goes, but I haven't heard anything yet, so am guessing that's not how they communicate. I think when she's home they use instant messaging (not even email, because I've checked that too). If she wants to phone him I think she goes out and uses a pay phone.<P>jnvc - That's screen capture software isn't it? I would worry that that would take up too much disk space and cause a disruption in the computer's operation that would be too obvious? I used to be able to get into my W's AOL account too until she caught me and changed her password. But I never saw any "incriminating" emails either. I guess they're just VERY careful.<P>--Wex