CC- "R" is doing okay. Stomach ache this morning, wanted to stay home from school - but I made him go anyways. Staying close to the telephone. <P>I think "we" deserve this! It has been a rough 10 years - the last 5 being really rough. "R" deserves a future with both of his parents. And look at the memories we can make for him! YES It is all worth it. <P>Medic - Hmmm!!! We've got a boat - and the lot comes with a floating dock and 2 rowboats. (I see about 12 inches of water in one of the rowboats!) The boat we have now is termed "disco" - it is a fixer also....but it floats and the motor is strong. Maybe I'll finally learn how to water ski? But, I guess that is the foundation of our marriage also - "a fixer"... <P>Synergy is a good term.. Barrowed from Steven Covey - 7 habits of highly successful people. It takes a team and joint goals to really make things happen. We are working toward that! <P>I am so tickled to hear you have made progress with Val. How many times have we almost thrown in the towel? I guess the lesson is NOT TO Quit! <P>FHL- Where have you been, my friend? Are you teaching VBS this summer? We are planning a project in June that will teach teachers and Sunday School teachers how to use Art as a medium to help refugee children heal. Got a nice little grant from the State. I was thinking of you when we were planning the project! (Isn't it funny how MB comes to mind in all areas of life?) I was thinking how important it was to offer training to volunteer Sunday School Teachers, as well.... The energy you put into your public schools even though your children go to parochial schools inspired me.<P>Glad to see this makes you feel good. I just know this is a new start - and I am so happy. Who would of thought this a year ago?<P>dreamer0707 - Isn't life full of uncertainties? It is good to know that all things can work together. How is your life? You and I have been in the same place so many times. Keep staying strong - you are an inspiration.<P>Pahakissa1 - I think what our plan is - is waiting to move until after my husband can subcontract out a garage to be built. Like I said, it is a "fixer" - and although the plumbing, electrical and walls and windows are there - we want get some work done before we move there. We have the one we are living in that isn't done - either. (Living through a remodal has become a way of life!) But, I think we will be spending most of our non-employed waking hours together on our goals. This is good. This is REAL good!<P>Thanks for all your prayers.<P> <P> <BR>

TNT- Not much changes. I will write to yo directly. God bless.

Wow...you have a great memory!<P>I have been disengaging from MB lately. My life is busy and full and I must tend to it.<P>I think about and pray for all my dear friends so very often.<P>If you don't mind, say a prayer of Thanksgiving for me. A drunk driver hit us (kids & me) on vacation last week. One less second and we may not be alive. As it is, although we were stranded on the highway for 2 hours with no one helping (not even police), we walked away without a scratch. I am going to get a cell phone.<P>Your project sounds interesting. No, I'm not teaching VBS. Truth is, I'm not really good with kids in a group. I figured that out as a SS and VBS teacher in my teens. I'm better one on one. Maybe that's why God blessed me by spreading out my kids.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Dreamer - read your reply to WS. You are sounding so much better. I'm glad.<P>FHL - I remember lots! I think this is part of a INFP trait, huh? one on one with kids? I know I do better that way. I did the SS/VBS thing for a few years about 25 years ago - and tried it again about 5 years ago. Man, have the kids changed or have I? It takes a special person to handle a group of kids. <P>I will thank God that you are still here with us. 2 near misses in a year. Wow. Glad you have divine protection.<P>Dr.Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde was out again today for a little while. Buyers remorse? Panic over commitment? Stress at work? I dunno. hmmmmm.... X-wife's kids were in and out of our house most of the evening and afternoon. Her child mentioned that my SD hasn't been seen for many days on end. H was here to hear it. It was after he started flip flopping. He told me to call X and ask where SD has been. I told him I wasn't going to do that. I told him that I didn't feel like it was any of our business at this point, that since his X came into town - and SD hasn't been around but only 3 days to come and get clothes only, that I have assumed that his X-wife assumes responsibility for SD, not me, that I wasn't going to deal with this. He didn't lovebust after that, he just walked into the bedroom and went to bed. That was good. <P>I'm fine about all of this - I'm sure he's just feeling panic at the loss of control of his daughter, as well as the twinge of guilt, and frustration as a result of X-wife being here - invasion of privacy non-stop with her kids, etc.<P>I told my husband earlier that if it made him feel stressed by buying this lake lot, and that would be harmful to our marriage, then I don't want to do it. That my number one priority was our marriage. <P>Well - I'll talk to you all tomorrow!

Hi TNT -<P>I followed along and didn't have time till today to post my very loud <BR> <BR>YAY's and YAHOO's!!!!!!<P>Then he goes and panics!!! Prayers and candles galore around here for this one!!! You know that, right!!! <P>You make sure to let us know when those papers are signed....I just know that they will be. Give him a stress relieving backrub or something!!! LOL!!<P>FHL - Hi there!!! I am a very negligent friend but have thoughts of you everyday!! I am very thankful that you and the girls are safe and that you have your guardian angel with you always!!!<BR>I will talk to you soon!!!<P>BIG HUGS to you both,<P>Sheba

Hi Sheba, Thanks for the prayers and candles!!!!!!! It is really important to me that we move out of this town. Especially now.<P>His Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde mode has been active since Tuesday. Getting more detention notices from the school for SD, & she's failing 2 classes. Her little brother said they don't know where she is most nights. My husband feels like he needs to intervene, but has promised not to call X from work, but from home, and has been putting it off. I know this is one of his stress factors - as well as work, and buying the lake lot.<P>Last night he took our friend (real estate friend) over to the lot and to look at our house - so friend has validated this is a a good opportunity. Just waiting for my husband to act on it! <P>Everything we talk about since Tuesday ends up being a conversation about his X. He is lovebusting/defending/blaming - and isn't able to get things into perspective right now. I am trying to stay out of the situation.<P>We started by talking about our objectives - Mine: I want to keep the X out of our lives, and at arms length. Him: He wants to keep from paying child support. <P>He asked me what I think we should do about SD. I told him that I have no idea how to parent his child, that it is a no-win situation for me, him, and his daughter. I would prefer not to be involved - because I don't have any answers. I told him that it doesn't really matter what I think, anyways - that his X and him will do what they want. I told him that I feel his daughter has been raised with values, morals, and expectations totally different from what mine are, and I don't think there is anything that I can do that is effective anyways. I am the outsider with him, his daughter, and his X. And that is fine.<P>He says that he feels like his X-wife is too loose to be a parent (duh - but I kept a straight face) and his current wife (me) is too insecure - so he cannot do what he needs to do (but won't say what that is) to help his child..... (? I don't get that, sounds like a cop out to me.. again, straight face...) I said that I understood how he felt. (And, I do understand how he feels - just don't agree it is a reason why he isn't intervening.)<P>These notices are something that we have received continually from the school, it is nothing new to the situation. Just because X moved out here doesn't mean SD's behavior has changed. It hasn't changed at all. The only difference is that now she isn't at our house causing turmoil. He didn't do anything about his daughter before X came out here. He isn't telling me what he thinks he needs to do, now. <P>I think what is really getting him, is that he made a promise to me not to contact X from work, (after about 3 weeks after she moved here) and that he is mostly concerned how I will react if he has contact with her now. I didn't say this to him, but it is what I am thinking. <P>She moved 2000 miles to live 4 doors down. She has been welcomed by my husband's family (and I think my husband) with open arms. I am not comfortable with this situation. <P>I am also wondering if he already has been having contact with X - because something must have happened on Tuesday for him to snap into Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde. I haven't said anything about this to him, at all. But, something must have triggered his behavior and attitude changes. He wouldn't tell me if it did. So, there is no point in asking.<P>He even lovebusted bad enough last night to tell me that he was going to cancel our plane tickets to CA next week (which he can't do - but I didn't tell him that either), because we are going out to participate in my son's wedding - because my son had the audicity to invite his father to the wedding..... I know he wasn't serious, he was trying to make a point that 5 out of our 6 kids have other parents. I understand that, completely. <P>I didn't defend, or react to his lovebusting - I just remained calm, kept a straight face, took him seriously, and finally went to bed when he wound down.<P>I really appreciate the prayers. We are so close to being "out of the woods" - and I realize that I need to live a lifestyle of Plan A. I know that everything won't be solved by moving - but I think it will make for a little less contact, and will help us have an objective and goal that is common. This in my opinion, will strengthen our marriage. It has been a long haul!<P>TNT <P>