I told him I loved him.<P>I didn't ask any more questions. (We had agreed he'd be honest about where he was going and he was. I asked him to call me if he was going to be late so that I wouldn't worry something had happened to him. OK, maybe it sounds stupid, but I did. And HE DID!) <P>When he came home, I greeted him pleasantly and talked a bit (not about anything serious) and went to bed.<P>No, before anyone says a word, I did NOT condone this behavior and he knew I wasn't. We had discussed how I felt about it once. That was enough. Believe it or not, I don't believe in harping on stuff (ok, so here doesn't count!
) He knew, he knew it hurt, he felt terrible (and usually dealt with it by being mean to me, but, well, that's to be expected.)<P>Then he couldn't stand it so he left and moved in with her. When I saw him, I just pretended "they" didn't exist.<P>Wanna hear something interesting? One night, before he left, he had gone over to her place to watch a movie. She lives over an hour away and they were late starting the movie, so the phone rang around 11:00. It was him, telling me that he was tired (he hadn't slept for a month hardly, bless his heart) and he was too tired to drive home. He said that PT had offered her sofa for him to crash on and ASKED ME IF I WOULD MIND! Ok, so my first instinct was to scream, yell, cry and say "DUH!". But I didn't. I said, "Well, yes, actually, I would. But I understand that you're tired. You're not far from your mom's. Could you call her and see if you can spend the night there?"<P>He was grumpy about it, said ok, and hung up. 'Course I figured that he'd just turn around and get ready for bed at PT's. Well, I'll be darned. 10 minutes later, his mom called me. "Robert just called and said he was too tired to drive home and asked if he could spend the night with me. I told him fine and I just wanted to call and let you know so you wouldn't worry about him. I've unlocked the door and I'm waiting up to talk to him if I can. (She was my greatest supporter!) I didn't know if he'd tell you." And He DID!!! Darnedest thing I ever heard. Can you BELIEVE THAT?<P>We've talked a lot since he came home. There were a lot of weird little things like that and I asked about them when they came up. Know what he said? "Through this whole mess, I could not believe how you treated me with such respect, no matter what I was saying and doing to you. It always made me stop and think. I realized at the strangest moments that if you could treat me that way with everything you were going through and all I was doing to hurt you, I could at least treat you with as much respect as I could, under the circumstances. I know it didn't seem that way, but I was really trying to."<P>It's touchy. But you CAN Plan A with dignity and self-respect.<P>Good luck.<P>Lori