I have been married for 20 yrs. to a wonderful man.Over the last two years, I have fallen in love with a man that lives a thousand miles away, we talk several times a day,we e-mail and do all the rest to keep in touch!<BR>I have left my husband several times to go live with this man but have returned for all kinds of reasons. One being a business I own and run with husband. It now has been three months since we have seen each other,my bags are packed but I'm not leaving...and I don't know why. This man has asked me to marry him someday and maybe I will. I just don'yt know I am sooooooo stuck! I have read Dr. Harleys surviving an Affair. I am just having the worst time forgetting this man,I still love him!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Trisha T:<BR><B> I have been married for 20 yrs. to a wonderful man.<P>I am just having the worst time forgetting this man,I still love him!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>If your husband is such a wonderful man, then how did this happen? If he is such a wonderful man, then this is completely unfair to him, either commit to him and only him, or leave him, stop sitting on the fence<P>

trisha,<P>this will be very short, as I am on my way out. I just want you to know that I have been where you are, and I know how you feel. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders when I was "in love" with two men at the same time. But, believe me, there IS a reason why your bags are packed, but you have not left. Deep down inside, you know where you belong. The addiction you feel for this other man is merely that- an addiction! The only thing that works to get him out of your mind is completely stopping all contact with him. Otherwise, you will go insane. You just can't live like that, and its not fair to your H or OM either. Start healing yourself now, by eliminating this OM from your life, and the rest will come. <P>tamis

Tamis thank you....Addiction.....WOW..How do yo really know?<BR>Thank you so much for your reply, perhaps you are right.This is a hell in it's self, one you understand only if you have been there.I have never wanted to hurt anyone and in an attempt to keep everyone else happy ....I hav e had trouble getting clear as to what is good for me.I don't think I can make anyone happy until I am,I sure as hell am not happy in this mess. Some times I am not so sure that the book surviving an affair is a good idea, my husband has been way to understanding, therefore making it easy to sit on the fence! I've not done this before and I will never do this gain...that is for sure! <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tamis:<BR><B>trisha,<P>this will be very short, as I am on my way out. I just want you to know that I have been where you are, and I know how you feel. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders when I was "in love" with two men at the same time. But, believe me, there IS a reason why your bags are packed, but you have not left. Deep down inside, you know where you belong. The addiction you feel for this other man is merely that- an addiction! The only thing that works to get him out of your mind is completely stopping all contact with him. Otherwise, you will go insane. You just can't live like that, and its not fair to your H or OM either. Start healing yourself now, by eliminating this OM from your life, and the rest will come. <P>tamis</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>[This message has been edited by Trisha T (edited July 19, 2000).]<P>[This message has been edited by Trisha T (edited July 19, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Trisha T (edited July 20, 2000).]