Well where to begin. First off, her changing the locks is not illegal, or legal...call it one of those gray areas. The attorney says that I can kick the door in if I would like as it is still our house, but why do that...I would just have to fix the door. More importantly, DO NOT kick in the door if she is home, or I might be faced with a restraining order. Bottom line, Deal with it the best that I can. As for the papers from Domestic Relations...she is only seeking support and has not filed for divorce. What is crazy about the support is that although I am living with my sister I have been making direct deposits of my paycheck to our joint checking account just like I have always done. Our bills get paid and my W continues to live as before. Don't understand her need to file for support.<P>Today she called me at work and accused me of being out on a date with another woman at our county fair. Yes I was at the fair and yes I was seen standing in line with another woman (know her from high school and various community activities) her daughter and one of our employees daughters. I went to the fair alone spent nearly 5 hours there and only about 45 minutes total walking around the Midway with this lady and the daughters. The rest of the time I was by myself, met and spoke with about a dozen friends, coworkers, and even family members who can vouch for that. My W says I should be more discreet, but what the hell did I do wrong? Was standing talking to others and was asked to go on a ride...what's the harm? Needless to say I was PO'd after that phone call. If I had a punching bag in my office I would have seriously abused it just to vent!<P>I have had so many people telling me move back into the house, make her move out, freeze all the assets, stop doing odd jobs around the house...but you know what...I cannot and will not do it. It is all aggressive behavior that only brings things down. I keep turning to Romans: 14 "Don't fight evil with evil". I am resolved to see this to the very end and God willing we will reconcile and if we do I will be able to say that maybe my efforts helped make the difference. If things do not work out, at least I can hold my head up knowing that I did all that I could and did not abandon my wife and children just to "get even". <P>I have rambled on long enough...thanks for allowing me to blow off some steam.

Sounds like you're having quite a time of it, but you seem to be working on a very strong Plan A. <P>I think you should do what your heart tells you is right with regard to house and finances, but I would advise you to make sure that at least a corner of your savings is walled off for you. No sense in being destitute.<P>All the best to you. How are you doing today? --HBC

<BR>I gotta resist my knee jerk response: Wait until she's gone, kick the door in, fix the door, and have the locks changed so only you have the key! <P>You need to regard her filing for support as an act of aggression (like it or not, the use of the court system implies the use of force). Personally, I agree with HBC and advise that you wall off some assets in your name only, just to protect yourself if things get even worse.<P>Bystander

If I am the WS (which I am) should I be the one initiating Plan A? She keeps telling me she has given up, but if that is the case why not just get this over with. Yikes...now that was a scary statement...PLEASE...everyone, do not take that to mean that I am giving up. NO WAY am I about to take the easy way out of this and force that issue.<P>I bought her a very simple card today that just says "Thinking of You". Of course, I added some personal thoughts as well (All good) just to let her know I have not given up. SHOULD I SEND IT, OR MIGHT SHE FEEL THREATENED BY THE CARD?