My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2 1/2. In the beginning of the relationship, I told her that many years prior I had been addicted to cocaine and had been in a few 'gay' films to feed my addiction. A few years later I had become severly addicted to crystal-meth and had some weird 'cyber-chat'/'cyber-sex' for a brief period. Many more years later (now) I am clean and have my life completely together. We have even just purchased our first home. A few days ago she let me know that she thought she could bury under the carpet what I told her so many years ago, but it keeps coming up and it is driving her a little mad...<BR>I am deeply in love and very committed and will never leave her.. but she has a fear that one day I might leave her for a man.<BR>My past actions were due to strong clouded addictions and I have no feelings what so ever for the same sex... How can I help her?<BR>thank you all for reading and your time!!

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 08:45 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

I haven't posted here much but as an alcoholic I feel I must. I think she should search around the www for the horror stories of substance abusers and the means they will go to to get their fix. Your story is not so bad compared to some I have heard at group counseling and AA. And you didn't wind up in jail as so many have and destitute living on the streets. Affair proof your marriage....all the tips on how to do that are at Marriage Builders...GOOD LUCK : ))

hanora, <P>Thanks so much for your reply!! <P>I completely have the doors open for any information that she would care to know.<BR>I also tell her (probably too often) exactly how I am feeling (I'm really obsessing).<BR>I oh so want to help her... We have had such a special love... None like I've ever felt.<P>One thing that really scares me (other than her leaving) is that I also tried to be honest in my last relationship (after a while), and that woman totally freaked out and left there on the spot. So my fear is that if my wife does leave, I'm going to be doomed for the rest of my life and never find someone that could understand something like that.<P>It is really odd... Men can accept a woman that has has a same sex experience (and love it), but turn the tables and it's all over.<P>I totally feel like I'm dying inside, very slowly. <P>Thanks again for your reply and I will keep the faith for my soul mate....

LST, <P>And thank you for your reply...<P>Substance abuse can do some horrid things (as we both know).. <P>I will definitely affair proof the marriage, I just hope that I can keep her.<P>I appreciate your kind words and I also hope the best for you!!

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>