Kindof a strange place to sit. I feel like the discarded.<P>No more talk since the revelation. Just H coming and going with the kids. I realize that for the conflict avoider inaction can be a way of life. But what a dilemma.<P>To be at the pinnicle of your profession and want to make it THE priority.... To NOT want to give up the OP as she is the only one you have been able to work with this well. And she adores you.... and she is now P.<P>What about the other life. Do nothing. Let the mother of your first children raise them and let her figure out what she should do with her life.<P>In our relationship and marraige people would always say to me "I don't know if your H likes me or not..." "He doesn't talk" He always has his guard up. I used to think it was so funny, because I knew such a differnt side of him. Always caring of me...and the kids. Loving and talkative. Now I know what they mean. I am on the outside looking in. It's like he can only be connected to one person at a time. And the rest of us are "out" of the picture.<P>I'm not sure how you get through your life like that but I guess I am witnessing how some people do it. No committment to anything but visions of how they want it to be at a particular time. I think that Chick's quote "you won't see until you are ready to not be blind" is a very accurate one. And one that we do not have any control of. Just my thoughts today.