Friday afternoon, after D got out of school, ES, D, and I drove to Denver for my sister's wedding. My D was the "bell ringer" in her aunt's wedding but of course I didn't have a part at all. Actually I did but all I had to do was stand at the guest book with my step sister and hand out programs. <P>I am very proud of my H. He was very good this weekend. He didn't say anything bad to my sister or my mother. <P>At the rehearsal, I had to fill in for one of the bridesmaid because she hadn't arrived yet and they were starting the rehearsal. She finally showed up and I was once again, not good enough to be in my blood sister's wedding. At the dinner, I was going inside my mom's house to get dinner, and my sister called me and said that I could come over and talk to her anytime during the evening. She didn't think I had to sit in an area next to my H and be "anti-social". She didn't say anything to my H. I always thought that at a rehearsal dinner, it was the job of the bride and groom to be to go around and thank everyone themselves. I didn't think I had to go to her. Wasn't my job to talk to her it was her job to talk to me right?<P>On Saturday morning, I had to drive from my dad's house to my mom's house (yes my parents are divorced and both remarried) at 8 in the morning. I had to go get my hair done with the entire wedding party for my sister. I didn't complain because I didn't think it would do any good. I figured if I complained, I would be accused of ruining her wedding day. (I thought that the only people who should have had their hair done was the bride, her mother and the wedding party and I wasn't in the wedding party) My sister even had a personal attendant to basically everything that I thought the matron of honor was suppose to do.<P>I didn't even complain when I had to have pictures taken and I even got ES in the family picture. The picture with the bride, groom and the brides family. They had all the pitures taken before the wedding, which makes no sense to me. I always thought that the groom couldn't see the bride in her dress until she walks down the asile. But hey, not my wedding I guess.<P>At the reception, ES didn't dance at all with the bride. I didn't dance with the groom at all either. Our D did dance with the groom. ES didn't even dance with his MIL because he didn't want to make a scene. My mom really doesn't like ES. He is an after-thought to my mother. At the beauty salon, my mom told the hair stylist that when my sister got married to her fiancee and my baby sister married her boyfriend, my mom would be getting two great son-in-laws. Then she realized that I was standing there, she add that she already had one great SIL. Like I said, an after thought to my mom.<P>The only really mean thing that ES did was dance with my step-mom (right in front of my mom) and they laughed pretty much the entire dance to make it look like they were having a really good time.<P>On the program that my sister had for her wedding, she listed everyone in her wedding, including my D. She listed my step mom and my step dad and my great Aunt and Uncle as honorary mentions. She didn't have the common courtesty to mention the fact that she had a second blood sister. She mentioned practically every blood realitive that was at the wedding except me.<P>I also don't think she like the gift that ES and I gave her. We gave her the book "His Needs, Her Needs" book. ES and I both think that she will be sleeping around on her H within a year or so and she's Bi-sexual to boot.<P>Sorry, this is so long. Just thought that I would let everyone know that ES was very good this weekend and that I'm very upset that I wasn't even considered for her wedding. I'm sure if I wasn't married to ES, I probably been in the wedding. They hate him even if they don't say it verbally.<P>One question for everyone though. I was wondering if ES and I should renew our wedding vows? I would want to renew them in two years on our 10th anniversary. I think it would be fun to have an actual church wedding. ES and I got married in Vegas so I would like to have at least my dad around to walk me down the asile and give me away. I don't really care if my mom or sisters are there. I guess I'm just hurt because my sister didn't even think about having me as a bridesmaid.

Hi Hopeful -<P>I am so sorry that your feelings were hurt. I know how it can sting for your own family to "overlook" you. It is not your doing though, Hopeful...it is their own controlling selfishness!! You showed that you could break out of their manipulations and they don't like it!!!<P>Too Darn Bad!!!!!<P>You are a much better person than they are.....remember that!!! You can't change them, you can only pray for them and show them through your own behavior how family should treat family!!! <P>I realize that it is still going to hurt sometimes though.......<P>I think that you and ES showed tremendous class by choosing to outwardly ignore their meanness!!! Bravo!!!!! Soon, perhaps, you both can begin to release your feelings of being outcasts and feel confident enough to be your normal selves with them regardless of how they behave. It is not fun when you have to stay tense and on guard!!!<P>That will come in time.....for this time, I think that you both did great!!<P>And I have to agree that your sister made some peculiar choices of etiquette!!<P>Look at it this way, would you REALLY have wanted to stand up for a bride that you don't believe is going to take her vows seriously from the get-go?<P>I think not!!!! You have learned all too well how much effort goes into making a good marriage. You have what it takes.....she very well may not!!!<P>I'd say that you are one up on her!!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba <p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited September 19, 2000).]