I know I have seen postings here about how WS often seem to lose their memory. This is happening big time with my H. He can't seem to remember romantic, tingly feelings about me, even when we were dating, and yet I'm sure he had them.<P>Also, his memory recently is gone. After D-day, we had sex several times in an effort to get closer. He now can't remember that. Currently he is unable to complete sexual intercourse and it may be due to the antidepressant that he's taking. However, he feels that he is not attracted to me. When I asked how he felt during those previous times, he didn't remember them occuring.<P>These may be totally different kinds of memory problems, but they all seem to be a lack of remembering good feelings he had for me. The recent ones could be due to depression. What are others perceptions of this problem and how does it get better?<P>Molly<BR>

Yes, Molly. There was a post about memory loss. I remember posting to it. But I could not find it in the archives, or past threads. I found this sight after 8/6/00--my dday.<P>My H is also not remembering about our beginnings. He has a totla block when it cmes to feelings. He remembers his one feeling for his OW, "love." <P> But anything else is a foreign language. He has not memories why he fell in love with me, and he totally forgets any of the feelings. He remembers the wedding, and our meeting because we have told other for years how this took place. But the feelings associated-no. <P>The other night we just had our first real discussions since dday and he remembers the anger of mine that helped to drive him to another. But he does not remember any specific feelings he reacted with.<P>As a matter of fact, he cannot even tell me how he felt the nite the A started. He knows the events, though. Wierd huh??<P>The other weird thing is he insists that the "love" for the OW is not based on sex. They became friends for a week on a trip, then the following month started the PA. "I think we loved each other the first time we met." YUK---POO---those words leave a BAD taste in my mouth!!!

The memory thing was a biggee for me. In fact, I think I have started a FEW threads on ? wandering spouse's memory.<P>My H also says he doesn't remember being intimate with me. This is such a joke. We have made love more in our marraige than the average "bear". And in fact, it was just last summer he was trying to count up the number of times and projecting into the future of our marraige.<P>This is why I really thought OW had him hypnotized when she went on the business trip with him. I was actually looking up receipts and trying to match them to places that I could investigate. It truly has been like he has had a brain transplant.<P>I really wonder if they ever regain their memory. My counselor once told me, that some people that have a MLC, seem to shed their previous lives like a snake sheds a skin. It is so depressing.<P>But I remember LostVa telling the story of her brother who had an affair and his memory loss lasted 3 years. When he came out of it he called his previous wife and apologized profusely. He felt awful and said he always hated those type of guys.<P>Funny thing is that my H always hated the type of guy he has become. So full of himself...narcissistic. In fact, this type of guy really turned me off too. yuck!!!

Memory loss does not just happen as it relates to their spouses, WS' also tend to "forget" certain things about the affair that BS ask them about.