For anyone who is interested, I'm out here. Just been very, very busy of late.<P>I could list all the things I've been doing, but it amounts to mostly working on other people's computers. It has left me exhausted (yes, I know ... I should try sleeping sometime!) and emotionally not real strong.<P>Naturally, then, my husband called today. this time he wanted to talk about some stuff that he still has here in my apartment. There are some relatively valuable autoparts in the attic and in my parent's barn is an entire engine. He wants to "catalog" them for me, let me sell them and let me keep the money. He figures that the engine alone might be worth $300-$400. Who knows?<P>Then he asked me about work and how the job is going. And brought up how I should check out Monster.com ... and I mentioned that I have been looking at many different job sites ... I don't know if it was just my imagination but he seemed awfully interested in my future job plans - even asked me when I was eligible to retire from my current job. I told him 5 more years before I would be able to leave with my benefits intact but that this year - matter of fact ... today - I was eligible to be paid for my unused leave time if I leave there for any reason. It is worth about $6K to me right now.<P>We talked a bit about the politics where I work, and then it started to get busy at HIS job, so he said he had to go.<P>On the one hand, his call sounded much like he is looking to tie up loose ends. On the other, what does he care when I can retire? Well, one thing I've learned - trying to figure it out is only going to make me crazy.<P>And That's the news.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Hi Terri,<BR>I can't guess what he is up to either, other than taking care of that stuff. He must realize you could have sold it if you wanted to. Permission is nice. Having him do the work for it is even nicer. And money is good.<P>So, my thoughts overall, this is positive for you, even if it turns out to have nothing to do with your marriage.<P>I think your H should be fitted with a computer read-out just a suggestion, and if you figure out how to do it, you have a ready made market right here.<P>Take care, sweetie.<BR>

Hi Terri,<BR>I signed on the other day and looked for a recent post but found none. But rest assured I have been keeping you in my thoughts.<P>You are right about one thing... trying to figure things out will only make you crazy; it drove me crazy on many a day and nights...lol<P>Hang in there girl... you know you can and so do I!! <P>I was wondering though what if anything you did about the P.S. or Part 2 of the Plan B letter? You last post was about an addemdum to the previous letter that would make the rules of Plan B, clearer. Just wondering if you ever sent that and if so, then why is he contacting you or why you are accepting any such contact as this from him?<P>Honestly... I know that he is still you H and that you love him very much but... Is it really appropriate for you to be discussing such personal matters as retirement and $$$ with him under the circumstances? If it were me, I would be a little afraid of telling him anything like that for fear that he would try to make some claim on it as marital property, should he indeed end up going into divorce proceedings.<P>I know that such things are not something that you like to think about but I just felt compelled to mention the possibility that sometimes things do go like that and we end up realizing that maybe we shouldn't have been quite so honest about certain things like that.<P>I know in my my step-father's case.... when his first marriage ended in divorce due to <B>HER</B> comitting adultery; she still walked away with alot of his retirement and pension even though he had not retired until years after they divorced and he married my mother. <P>To me, I thought that really sucked considering she was the one that left the marriage; destroying the home and the marriage with her affair. My step-father was the victim I feel and still he had to pay her as if he were the one that had had the affair and it was his fault the marriage ended.<P>I am not trying to come down on your H, I just don't want to see you get hurt more in the long run. All I saying is that I would suggest that perhaps you shouldn't discuss such "personal information" with him under the current circumstances even though he is your H. <P>You have to be the strongest woman on this forum to have the stamina that you have.<P>Take care of yourself and please keep us updated on things and don't disappear for so long this time.<P>{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}<P>Genie <p>[This message has been edited by Genie29 (edited December 05, 2000).]

Thanks, Lor and Genie!<P>Lor,<P>LOL! A computer read-out! Heck, I think he'd blow its circuits in a day or less! <P>Yes, permission is nice - and I honestly had no idea there were any parts up in the attic. And I wouldn't have had the first clue as to the value of the parts or the engine, so his help is a nice idea, too. And I really could use the money, that's for sure.<P>Genie,<P>I honestly don't think he is "up to" that, and even if he is, oh well - It's not like I have any use for it other than for the money. The engine is at my parents' house, so, if worse comes to worse, they could always charge him about $300-$400 for the several years he has stored it in their storage space. <P>As far as my retirement goes, in the NY public retirement systems, after 10 years of marriage, the spouse is legally entitled to half of any pension benefits regardless of how the marriage ended. He is also, technically, entitled to half of my Social Security as well, and I his. So, retirement discussions wouldn't really make much difference to that.<P>If he is on a fishing expedition, I will find out sooner or later. But I don't think he is on one for the stuff in the attic, only based on my instincts.<P>Thanks for worrying, though ... it's a valid thought.<P>Later!<P><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>